I am so done with fighting

[janM]

The director documented everything and even called her attorney and told her of the incident and warned her that if this continued our visits with them were in danger.

Any chance Mom is trying to sabotage the visits, so that you will lose more time with DD while a modification is done?

 

[chrisstansberry]

theres a good chance because she is having to pay $40 a visit and there is 5 this month and 5 next month. Then they go to Kid exchange in San Marcos 5 visits from 9-5 ( exchanges) and thats $120 for the month plus $25 registration fee and a $75 orientation fee .which we have already completed and paid for. Kid exchange can not even schedule me for visits untill she pays and I am sure her problem is the money. Well my child support is paid and 2 months ahead. In the month of March she got $1100 from me becasue I was three months behind as well as I paid Aprils ahead to. Then in April I sent the next two months becasue my job was talking about layoffs and I did not want to be caught being behind.

 

[stealth2]

Personally speaking... if it were MY situation and I'd be unable to see my kid if the other parent didn't pay? I'd make it clear to the director that *I* would pay when the other parent doesn't. With a receipt, you can take that bit back to court and get reimbursed. But leaving it in Mom's hands is just stupid. Sorry. You're not thinking.

Call kiddo's doctor and ask what allergies she has. Then bring along food that is appropriate. Even id s/he says none, stay away from peanut butter or anything with peanuts. Wendy's didn't apparently kill her, so it's likely a non-issue.

 

[CJane]

Personally speaking... if it were MY situation and I'd be unable to see my kid if the other parent didn't pay? I'd make it clear to the director that *I* would pay when the other parent doesn't. With a receipt, you can take that bit back to court and get reimbursed. But leaving it in Mom's hands is just stupid. Sorry. You're not thinking.

That's been pretty clear all along.

I particularly like how mom 'got $1100' from him in March ... like that's supposed to be some big magnanimous thing he did. It's just an oh by the way that he was THREE MONTHS BEHIND on CS up to that point.

This is never going to be an uncontentious thing the way these two are acting. And yeah, Mom is partly to blame... but we've heard both sides of this story and Dad is certainly no peach.

 

[wileybunch]

Does KidShare really control whether or not you feed YOUR kid? And dispense legal advice to you that you feeding your child creates a LIABILITY? This just doesn't add up to me, but I don't live in Texasland ....

I agree that YOU pay the center fee if Mom doesn't and deal with it. It's not like you have to make a special trip back to court for it, you're already in and out of court at this point.

I also agree you are not thinking. You are being very immature to the point it's beyond irritating just reading about it here. Stop painting yourself as a victim and just be a father already. KidShare shouldn't be telling YOU what to do so much,either, but you put yourself in their hands like a helpless waif so now they're telling you what to do -- only b/c you opened yourself up.

Stop posturing constantly.

 

[MichaCA]

I don't know. To give the benefit of the doubt, its possible the mom creates so much anxiety for everyone that the center is catering to HER. I know my ex is super controlling, in every single situation we get involved in. What happens is sometimes well-intended people end up giving direction or making recommendations where frankly I wish everyone would just stay out of the parenting but us...but he asks for it. I'm giving the benefit of the doubt here...I feel for the guy, getting told to not feed his kid now. He's already screwed up with his anger, feels he's walking a tight rope with mom and the supervised visits. I know I would be afraid to speak up and when this (slightly invasive) director of the visitation place were to tell me DO THIS, I would DO it...out of fear for whatever reports she will send to the court. My opinion.

 

[chrisstansberry]

cost is to be split 50/50 per the court order and she and her attorney knew the cost before when they asked for supervised. They asked for visits this way let them pay to.

I am trying my best to do what is right and quite frankly I will do as Kidshare tells me. I am walking a tight rope and I am not going to further do anything I think is out of line to get into more trouble. I am not painting myself as the vicitm. Every which way I turn mom is constantly bitching about something.

I called the doctors office to find out what she was allergic to. I first had to show proff I was dad and I did that by faxing over paternity then the office told me they could not release info to me over them phone cause mom noted on the account no one was to get info. So what do I do with this? I have had my daughter with me before for overnights and she ate everything under the moon this is the first I have ever heard of this so called allergys

 

[stealth2]

cost is to be split 50/50 per the court order and she and her attorney knew the cost before when they asked for supervised. They asked for visits this way let them pay to.

Are you always this dense? You KNOW that if she doesn't pay her half, you don't see the kid. And then you whine about it. So pay her freakin' 50%, get a receipt and ask the court to order her to reimburse you or be found in contempt with additional sanctions. This is NOT rocket science! Or, don't see your kid 'cause you're going to be stubborn - but then don't come crying and complaining about her, okay?

I am trying my best to do what is right and quite frankly I will do as Kidshare tells me. I am walking a tight rope and I am not going to further do anything I think is out of line to get into more trouble. I am not painting myself as the vicitm. Every which way I turn mom is constantly bitching about something.

I'd say you make a good pair.

I called the doctors office to find out what she was allergic to. I first had to show proff I was dad and I did that by faxing over paternity then the office told me they could not release info to me over them phone cause mom noted on the account no one was to get info. So what do I do with this? I have had my daughter with me before for overnights and she ate everything under the moon this is the first I have ever heard of this so called allergys

So you get your fanny in the car, drive to her doctor's office and get the bloody info directly from them! Again - this is NOT rocket science! I'm seriously starting to wonder how you even figured out how the parts go together to create a child.

 

[chrisstansberry]

Ohhhhh Duhhhhhhh I would like to drive there and get IT. but was told I could not have info becasue mom said NO. I am not dense I have never had to deal with something like this or someone like this and because I have not had to deal with someone like her I feel like I am constantly trying to CYOA. If there are so called allergys don't you think this should have been brought to my attention when I had overnights just a couple of months ago????? Sounds alittle fishy to me

 

[Rushia]

Ohhhhh Duhhhhhhh I would like to drive there and get IT. but was told I could not have info becasue mom said NO. I am not dense I have never had to deal with something like this or someone like this and because I have not had to deal with someone like her I feel like I am constantly trying to CYOA. If there are so called allergys don't you think this should have been brought to my attention when I had overnights just a couple of months ago????? Sounds alittle fishy to me

Either look around this site for the info or maybe someone else will take pity and give it to you (I don't remember what it's called). The doctor's office cannot deny you your child's info just cause mom said so. Take the paperwork to the office along with your identification and proof of being the father and DEMAND it.

 

[profmum]

Ohhhhh Duhhhhhhh I would like to drive there and get IT. but was told I could not have info becasue mom said NO. I am not dense I have never had to deal with something like this or someone like this and because I have not had to deal with someone like her I feel like I am constantly trying to CYOA. If there are so called allergys don't you think this should have been brought to my attention when I had overnights just a couple of months ago????? Sounds alittle fishy to me

I am beginning to think that Mum is the better parent here and that is downright scary! Go to the doctor's office, talk to the office manager, and raise hell until you get DD's records..!! But that is really not worth the effort is it because then you lose one more oppurtnity to say "woe me".

 

[my life is mine]

No one is going to hand hold you through this, if you want to see your child, you need to THINK!

Go to doctors with court order, show them court order that you are the parent of this child, that there are no restrictions of you receiving any information from medical professionals, if they refuse to comply, have your attorney talk to their attorney!

With Kid Share, you now are armed with medical information supply a copy to them showing allergies or no allergies, you pay your fee plus Mom's fee and then when in court show Judge that Mom was not paying her share and you wanting to see your child you paid it and wish to be reimbursed.

You really need to start thinking outside the box! Mom can only withhold if you do not think!!!!!!!!!!

 

[chrisstansberry]

Thank you I will do so

 

[wileybunch]

You are to split the costs of visitation. The split can happen LATER so that you get your visits NOW. Since you're going through court, you can pay NOW and bring it up in court that Mom isn't paying. Do you realize that if Mom IS playing games here and this pattern is playing out in court even as you are actively engaged in going to court that the judge becomes an indirect observer of all this and takes that into account, makes notes in your file, etc.? Mom's playing with fire, some don't stop until they lose custody, so you stay on track and keep your focus in sight -- time with your child and being in her life.

As for feeding your child, KidShare is trying to be your advocate in a way by saying mom should feed child, but they are not forbidding you to bring food. For pete's sake, come prepared with a meal in a backpack and use it if you need it (unless you want your child to go hungry -- in which case I'd have to conclude neither you OR Mom are capable of serving child's best interests ...).

 

[mommyof4]

I have never had to deal with something like this or someone like this and because I have not had to deal with someone like her I feel like I am constantly trying to CYOA.

Well, no...you didn't HAVE to deal with her. However, you were certainly more than willing to deal with her when you got nekkid with her.

Okay, after reading this entire saga I think I can safely say that you like to play games just as much as Mom. You come across as extremely passive aggressive. EXTREMELY. Stop being a wimp. Parent your child. It's not up to the visitation center to tell you how to be a parent to your child. It is up to the visitation center to supervise and note that you are or are not a danger to your child. That's it.

I once had the same arguments with my ex. He kept saying that I wouldn't allow this and I wouldn't allow that. He was so put upon and elicited so much sympathy. The truth finally came out that he never even bothered to ask me or anyone else anything about her. When I sent him pertinent information about her, he refused to accept the mail. There were other serious issues involved, but on THIS issue alone...from the tone of your posts and your endless excuses and whining and you depiction of Mom...you sound just like my ex.

So, here's my advice. Grow up. You have a child now. Only that child gets to act like a child. YOU need to act like a competent adult who is capable of figuring out that kiddo might get hungry when you are with her. If you have to be told that specific info, then I can clearly understand why you must be supervised. (won't even get into the death threats that, apparently, she caused you to issue.)