I Just Dont Get It!!

[faithnlve]

I absolutely agree with you.

I'm just becoming less sure what can really be done about it since VT law is what it is.

What did you mean by Vermont Law is what it is? Oh, and there was that one question I did ask (actually my hubby was curious). What would happen if my ex got seriously hurt and could not care for our son? Can stepmom claim she has been helping to raise him and retain custody on ex's behalf and what would happen if ex died, can stepmom get visitation through the courts in Vermont? The laws in Vermont are very confusing to me. Oh, and CJane, your right, its not POA that is my question, it was the fact that the stepmom signed every single school registration and his IEP as guardian/parent where usually my name should be. And all other school forms where is has "parents" she has signed also. My name is nowhere on any form. She is claiming that she can do this because of father having full custody and she is married to him and he acknowledges her taking care of all his needs pertaining to school. Thanks faith

 

[faithnlve]

OK sorry about the duplicate post. Here is the first thread I posted on the issues I have been dealing with. AND here is my new question....again sorry!

This is what is written in the educational parental rights school packet as to rights of all files and signing for services for child, and has parental rights to making those decisions. "a person who is acting as a parent, such as a grandparent or step-parent with whom the child lives and who is legally responsible for the child". The school is fighting me on the stepmom signing IEP documents and claiming it is in her right to do so. I said I interpreted it to mean "only" if she is legally responsible to the child if I was not in the picture. Who is correct? Thanks Faith

 

[CJane]

OK sorry about the duplicate post. Here is the first thread I posted on the issues I have been dealing with. AND here is my new question....again sorry!

This is what is written in the educational parental rights school packet as to rights of all files and signing for services for child, and has parental rights to making those decisions. "a person who is acting as a parent, such as a grandparent or step-parent with whom the child lives and who is legally responsible for the child". The school is fighting me on the stepmom signing IEP documents and claiming it is in her right to do so. I said I interpreted it to mean "only" if she is legally responsible to the child if I was not in the picture. Who is correct? Thanks Faith

Only an attorney in VT can answer your question. Given the statutes I've read so far, I agree with Senor Judge that the school is correct as to their interpretation of their guidelines, I mean really, how can they be wrong about something they created?

Only that attorney can tell you whether this goes against VT statutes or public policy. I fear though, that it does not in your state.

Make that appointment.

 

[faithnlve]

Just so I understand when I do speak with an attorney. Since I am a non custodial parent, the step-parent has more rights than I do to my child because they are now married to the custodial parent and have more parental rights in decisions pertaining to my child only because they are now married to a cp? Here I am battling to get more involved in his medical and education which I want to, then on the flip side I can now get involved but the step-parent has more legal rights and say than I do. Heck, next thing you know whomever gets full custody the other parent will have to sign over all rights to any new spouse. What a world.

 

[CJane]

Just so I understand when I do speak with an attorney. Since I am a non custodial parent, the step-parent has more rights than I do to my child because they are now married to the custodial parent and have more parental rights in decisions pertaining to my child only because they are now married to a cp?

That is YOUR PERCEPTION. The whole point of speaking to the attorney is to find out what the 'real story' is.

You need to make a list of COHERENT questions and be prepared so you get your money's worth when you go in there.

 

[faithnlve]

Well, my incoherent questions just got answered by a phone call as soon as I posted. A good attorney in the area informed me that the custodial parent "can" allow the new spouse to sign, make decisions, and so on with our child, even life threatening decisions, if he allows it. I am invisible as a legal parent. And, I CANNOT go for any legal say UNLESS I go for FULL custody in this state. And guess what. I cannot, since I have no grounds for change of circumstance. I can get copies of everything, but nothing else. I have the rights to "see" my child, but nothing more. Since my ex has custody, he is basically in the eyes of the law the true parent. No wonder there is so much negative feelings of judges, lawyers, and lets not forget the steps whom "think" they now control your child as much as your ex (AND CAN). i have been too trusting, to open to switching my visitation time to accommodate the EX with our son's sporting events, and so on and so on. Am I angry, shocked, numb, feeling sick to my stomach??? All of the above. As a matter of fact in our state if the custodial parent dies, and I did ask the attny this, the step parent can get visitation of the child. The lawyer agreed it is not a fair system. You think?! I guess the only thing I can do is modify to work my visitation time around my job, not give my EX any leeway to sporting events, family events and such on his side of the family, demand my time is my time, my holiday time is mine, have a schedule set in STONE and not give an inch to any of his requests. Since that is all I have left with my child. MY time! Faith

 

[Silverplum]

QUIT CREATING & POSTING ON MULTIPLE THREADS. You're STILL doing it!
Sheesh.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

I'm so sorry.

I was an ex who received visitation from the step-child when she went back to her mom - dad and I divorced. I didn't see her very often, but she was with me and the ex for 6 years. She was a big person to have allowed it, but don't we want the chlidren to have more people to love - and love them back. I would hope that the chlid would have people in their lives to love them, whether they are 'related' or not.

 

[faithnlve]

QUIT CREATING & POSTING ON MULTIPLE THREADS. You're STILL doing it!
Sheesh.

I KNEW KIDS IN SCHOOL LIKE YOU YEARS AGO....WE CALLED THEM SQUEALERS. BUT JUST SO YOU CAN PUT YOUR THUMB BACK INTO YOUR MOUTH, I AM ON THE OLD THREAD AND DELETED THE OTHER ONE.

 

[Silverplum]

I KNEW KIDS IN SCHOOL LIKE YOU YEARS AGO....WE CALLED THEM SQUEALERS. BUT JUST SO YOU CAN PUT YOUR THUMB BACK INTO YOUR MOUTH, I AM ON THE OLD THREAD AND DELETED THE OTHER ONE.

lol...*I* deleted it.

 

[faithnlve]

I'm so sorry.

I was an ex who received visitation from the step-child when she went back to her mom - dad and I divorced. I didn't see her very often, but she was with me and the ex for 6 years. She was a big person to have allowed it, but don't we want the chlidren to have more people to love - and love them back. I would hope that the chlid would have people in their lives to love them, whether they are 'related' or not.

Of course I do Ginny. I wish I was dealing with a step-parent who knew her boundaries. This one does not. She punished my son for a small period of time sending him to his room because he would not call her mom. I almost got into a fist fight with her over that, but my hubby pulled me back into our house, thank goodness. My ex apologized, and it never happened again. Now she is doing this. I am not going to waste my time with a person this cold hearted and evil. No mother would.

 

[faithnlve]

lol...*I* deleted it.

LOL so did I! Must of done it at the same time. But I did the same thing, or so "I" thought.