I need advise......FAST

[elf]

What is the name of your state? Colorado
My ex has visitation with my daughter on Monday from 9-5. I have called him and told him that something has come up and I need to go out of town this weekend and that I wouldn't be able to make it back by 9 on Monday. I asked if he would be willing to take our daughter for the entire weekend (even though its my time with her) or if he would be willing to let me keep her on Monday. He refuses both of my ideas and said that if she is not there at 9 am when he comes to pick her up that he will call the police. I recorded our conversation and it shows that I did try to work something out with him. How much trouble will I be in if I'm not home on Monday?

 

[fairisfair]

is this a recurring problem?? Him not getting his visitation time because something came up??

 

[elf]

No. We have both made arrangements and switched weekends with one another before, but it is not that often. We do have problems with one another, but usually we can deal with them (its better if we talk to one another on a very limited basis). I have realized that it seems that when he is fighting with his wife, he tends to take it out on me and acts like a total jerk with me.

 

[stealth2]

Okay - you NEED to go out of town (i.e. someone's on their death bed), or you have something you CHOOSE to go out of town for?

 

[fairisfair]

Of course, you are supposed to follow the court orders, and yes he could call the police and file a report, and could even file a contempt order against you, if he is that hell bent on causing you trouble, would never advise you to go against a court order but for a one time incident I doubt the consequences would be terribly severe.

 

[elf]

My friend (of 15 years) is very ill. My ex will not even listen to my reasons for needing to go out of town. I have tried to explain to him and he just talks over me and does not listen.

 

[elf]

That is what I was thinking to, I have a recording proving that I tried to work something out with him and he acted like a a$$ and that I notified him ahead of time about my situation. I don't think that I will get too much heat, but I just wanted other peoples opinion on the matter that have been in this kind of situation.

 

[stealth2]

Well, you may not be taking too much heat for it, but it will be contempt. And next time it happens, it will be taken into account.

Also, what the heck is your kid going to do on this w/e? Not like I'd call it a barrel of laughs time for her. Don't you have a friend/family who could watch her, or cut your visit short and come back in time?

I do sympathize, but I'm not sure there is absolutely no work-around.

 

[elf]

I know that its not going to be that fun of a trip for my kids (I have three kids, only one sees their father), but I work Mon-Fri and I don't have any time other than the weekend to go. I could try to come back early, but it is a long drive and I don't want to risk our safety by driving on no sleep. I don't have any friends or family around here that I could leave my daughter with. That is why I originally asked him if he could take her for the entire weekend.

 

[stealth2]

Well, then risk a contempt charge. I'd have sent him a letter CRRR documenting the offer to have him take the whole w/e or switch w/e's.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

I know that its not going to be that fun of a trip for my kids (I have three kids, only one sees their father), but I work Mon-Fri and I don't have any time other than the weekend to go. I could try to come back early, but it is a long drive and I don't want to risk our safety by driving on no sleep. I don't have any friends or family around here that I could leave my daughter with. That is why I originally asked him if he could take her for the entire weekend.

Let's see...

Friend of 15 years vs. a valid court order.

hummmmm Can't vs. won't come back by monday at 9 a.m.

hmmmm

The plain fact is that the court order trumps your sick friend. PERIOD.

 

[Zephyr]

you can't go see your friend but leave early enough to make it home? like say leave sunday mid afternoon????? I don't see why this is so difficult

 

[stealth2]

I have a friend driving out Friday from Ohio, to see me in NJ, and then driving to see the Indy500 Sunday. So, uuhh.... choices, choices.

I do have sympathy wrt your friend. But you need to make choices sometimes.

 

[Silverplum]

Everyone is correct. Just thought you'd like to hear from someone in Colorado = you cannot deny parenting time and get away with it. He can easily bust you, and it will, as others said, go against you. You do not have a lot of wiggle room.

Pick another weekend, make another plan. HIS time IS HIS time.

 

[elf]

The thing is....is my daughter wants to stay with her dad this weekend (that was her idea, and I she doesn't even know what is going on) and he won't even consider this. I don't understand why he wouldn't want to take the opportunity to spend some more time with his child (since he wants too act like he cares). Doesn't it seem like that would benifit both of us? Instead, whenever he even hears my voice he gets an automatic attitude with me and wants to be a jerk. Anything he can do to cause a conflict, he does. Ever since we went to court and he was ordered to pay child support he has acted like this with me. He has flat out told me that he only sees his daughter because he pays for her.