I need advise......FAST

[stealth2]

It doesn't matter why he doesn't want to take her for the whole w/e - maybe he also has plans. Fact is - the order states Monday. SO you deal with it as you decide.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

The thing is....is my daughter wants to stay with her dad this weekend (that was her idea, and I she doesn't even know what is going on) and he won't even consider this. I don't understand why he wouldn't want to take the opportunity to spend some more time with his child (since he wants too act like he cares). Doesn't it seem like that would benifit both of us? Instead, whenever he even hears my voice he gets an automatic attitude with me and wants to be a jerk. Anything he can do to cause a conflict, he does. Ever since we went to court and he was ordered to pay child support he has acted like this with me. He has flat out told me that he only sees his daughter because he pays for her.

the thing is, you have not given the court one reason for ignoring their valid order. What you have given this forum is excuses. Whether you want to admit that or not.

If you can't make the monday deadline and don't want to rush to get back, then take a day off work and leave tonight.

Simple solution. And the fact is, it is incumbant upon you to follow the order....not expect your ex to do cartwheels so that you can ignore it.

 

[Ohiogal]

My friend (of 15 years) is very ill. My ex will not even listen to my reasons for needing to go out of town. I have tried to explain to him and he just talks over me and does not listen.

Friends do not trump father. If this was your parents it may be different but the court will not like it if you put a FRIEND above daddy. Go for Saturday and Sunday and have the child ready on Monday.

 

[Ohiogal]

The thing is....is my daughter wants to stay with her dad this weekend (that was her idea, and I she doesn't even know what is going on) and he won't even consider this. I don't understand why he wouldn't want to take the opportunity to spend some more time with his child (since he wants too act like he cares). Doesn't it seem like that would benifit both of us? Instead, whenever he even hears my voice he gets an automatic attitude with me and wants to be a jerk. Anything he can do to cause a conflict, he does. Ever since we went to court and he was ordered to pay child support he has acted like this with me. He has flat out told me that he only sees his daughter because he pays for her.

You know what -- DAD may have something going on this weekend. He doesn't have to take extra time. And it doesn't matter what he told you. Really. If it was that big of an issue you would have been back to court already. The problem is you sound like you are whining -- you blame the new wife and you go on about how he HAS worked with you in the past. He doesn't have to consider it. You said he has considered it in the past and you have changed weekends and what not but it may not be possible for him this weekend because he has plans for adults. And he is planning on Monday. And the chlid NEEDS to be available to him on Monday.

 

[Ohiogal]

the thing is, you have not given the court one reason for ignoring their valid order. What you have given this forum is excuses. Whether you want to admit that or not.

If you can't make the monday deadline and don't want to rush to get back, then take a day off work and leave tonight.

Simple solution. And the fact is, it is incumbant upon you to follow the order....not expect your ex to do cartwheels so that you can ignore it.

Yeah what BB said. Dang I really need to read the WHOLE thread before I start replying.

 

[elf]

I guess if I had time to explain in detail everything that this man has put me and my daughter through for the past 9 years, then everyone might understand a little bit better. I don't think that I am "whining" or that I am trying to blame everything on the wife. I am happy that he has his wife and other kids! In fact it was his wife that finally got him involved in his daughters life. I thank her for that, but I don't think that just because he didn't get everything he wanted in court or the fact that he has to pay child support that his has to act like a jerk towards me. Don't you think that if you have a child together, that you should at least act civil towards each other and be willing to communicate with one another? Thank you all for your advise and your opinions.

 

[MrsK]

I guess if I had time to explain in detail everything that this man has put me and my daughter through for the past 9 years, then everyone might understand a little bit better. I don't think that I am "whining" or that I am trying to blame everything on the wife. I am happy that he has his wife and other kids! In fact it was his wife that finally got him involved in his daughters life. I thank her for that, but I don't think that just because he didn't get everything he wanted in court or the fact that he has to pay child support that his has to act like a jerk towards me. Don't you think that if you have a child together, that you should at least act civil towards each other and be willing to communicate with one another? Thank you all for your advise and your opinions.

What he put you through in the past 9 yrs is irrelevant.

Sounds like you better have kiddo ready @ 9 on Monday or face contempt charges/the police.

 

[Silverplum]

I guess if I had time to explain in detail everything that this man has put me and my daughter through for the past 9 years, then everyone might understand a little bit better. I don't think that I am "whining" or that I am trying to blame everything on the wife. I am happy that he has his wife and other kids! In fact it was his wife that finally got him involved in his daughters life. I thank her for that, but I don't think that just because he didn't get everything he wanted in court or the fact that he has to pay child support that his has to act like a jerk towards me. Don't you think that if you have a child together, that you should at least act civil towards each other and be willing to communicate with one another? Thank you all for your advise and your opinions.

"Should" and "Do" are two different things. Humans act like they want to act. If he's a jerk, he's a jerk. Doesn't mean you have to be a jerk, too. You choose how you act, instead of allowing him to dictate your reactions.

Explaining your relationship in detail is only going to bore us, and none of it matters, legally. What MATTERS is that you have a COURT ORDER and MUST follow it. Period.

 

[eme76]

I guess if I had time to explain in detail everything that this man has put me and my daughter through for the past 9 years, then everyone might understand a little bit better. I don't think that I am "whining" or that I am trying to blame everything on the wife. I am happy that he has his wife and other kids! In fact it was his wife that finally got him involved in his daughters life. I thank her for that, but I don't think that just because he didn't get everything he wanted in court or the fact that he has to pay child support that his has to act like a jerk towards me. Don't you think that if you have a child together, that you should at least act civil towards each other and be willing to communicate with one another? Thank you all for your advise and your opinions.

What you *think* and *feel* about the situation dose not matter. You either have the child ready Mon. am as the C/O states or you are in contempt.

edit to add...WOW--great minds...Silver & K

 

[LdiJ]

I am going to weigh in here and pretty much disagree with everybody else....I haven't read every single post.

Ok...you have a very ill friend that you need to visit. You don't feel that its guaranteed to be feasible to be back by Monday at 9:00 AM. You offered dad the entire weekend through Monday and he turned you down.

Therefore, I think that you should make the trip, take your child with you, and try to get back as early as possible on Monday, and deliver the child to dad even before you go home.

If dad takes you to court for contempt, I don't think that you are going to get dinged. You tried to work it out....and you will have delivered the child to dad as soon as possible on Monday. I think that the judge will see that you tried your best to work things out, and that it wasn't a plain old arbitrary denial. Judges DO expect parents to cooperate with each other.

However, don't make a habit of this sort of thing. If it happens once a year its not a big deal....if it happens a lot more, then you have a problem.