I want my ex to stop paying child support

[annajm]

NO you guys are wrong. A few days ago my ex's fiance wrote me(we are good friends even though we have never met) and she told me how tough their situation is getting. She asked me if there was anyway we could do the step parent adoption sooner so they could drop the child support and I told her I couldnt because i dont have $3000 at the moment.


I am not trying to set my ex up. I dont want to ruin his life!! I know he loves his baby and the baby he has is the only one he sees and i want him to take care ofhim! i see that baby like my own family. He is my daughters' baby brother. I know what they are going through I have struggled in the past and WHY would I want to take their rent money diaper money and go to the movies and shopping with it? For those of you who think I am trying to trick him you are very wrong!!!

 

[IrishLady47]

He saw my 5 year old when she was 1 for the last time. Its not about money.

Maybe my math is off, but this strange. He hasn't seen the 5 yr old for 4 years, but you have a 2 yr old together?

This whole post does not ring true to me. And, although you may be able to stop the CS legally, if you were so concerned about your ex's family, you'd have already been returning the CS money to them.

 

[annajm]

my 2nd daughter was conceived a month before my 1st one turned 2. Me and my ex broke up before i even knew i was pregnant. I am not lying and I certainly dont have to come to a forum to lie. I know people will not believe i am doing this for them but I am. Of course who would give up $500 a month in child support??? Well I am not a cold hearted person and I cant sit back in my nice house with my nice things while I know another family out there needs the money way more than i do. I have been there and it is not a nice feeling and if I can prevent someone from struggling like i did in the past then I will. I know none of you will believe me, most people wouldnt give up the child support money with something in return but I am. I am not making my ex give up his rights (he wants to do it out of his own free will because he trusts my husband can care for them like he has for the last few years. If my ex changes his mind and doesnt give up his rights i do not care!! He will be able to see the girls anyway!! Anyway I am not here to get you to believe me!! I am here to find out what I can do to remove the child support! thanks to whoever wrote me back I contacted the Texas attorney general hopefully they will help

 

[jbowman]

Here is what I dont understand. You are desperate to stop support but you dont have 3K for the step parent adoption???

If you saved the 500 for 6 months--since you obviously dont need it, then you would have the 3K for the step parent adoption....

If you are this adamant about stopping the child support BUT you dont have the 3K for the step parent adoption, how the heck are you going to pay an attorney???

Make life easy--mail the dang check back to him when you receive it!!! Yes, 2% of that 500 may be gone but if you are that concerned with their well being, why dont you just throw an extra $10 in when you mail it back??? Simple solution.

 

[Golfball]

To play devil's advocate to some posts upthread regarding motives for stepparent adoption, there would be (IMNSHO) valid reasons for wanting a stepparent adoption that aren't related to an involuntary termination of parental rights for BioDad.

IIRC, it's been mentioned on other threads in Child Custody that teachers (in parent-teacher conferences) won't talk to StepParent. There may also be insurance or inheritance issues at play as well, where it would be to the benefit of the child to be adopted, especially if BioDad consents, and especially if CP & StepDad are willing to foster (in writing and in fact) a continuing relationship btwn kid & BioDad.

 

[annajm]

And I suppose you keep $3000 in your bank account at all times?? I did not save the money that I was getting for child support. I spent it way long ago! I didnt plan a step parent adoption until they suggested it! I have the money to pay ALL of my bills and to live comfortably. I am not RICH and I do not keep thousands of dollars in my bank account for stuff like that. I make decent money and so does my husband and we are able to pay all of our bills and have a little extra. The child support money comes in as a bonus. I was using it to take the girls out, buy clothes, movies, take trips,etc. I do not desperately need it like they do. Child support wasnt going to be removed until we had the money to do the step parent adoption but it happens that my ex lost his job and he is in a bad situation so i decided if there was a way I could help and take the child support away sooner then i would. They were the ones that asked me if there was a way I could remove it sooner. I really dont think its that hard to understand. I know most of you out there will never believe someone will give away FREE money of course probably none of you would. But like I said I am not in bad terms with my ex and I have a good relationship with his fiancee and I want to HELP THEM. If anything I am putting their BABY first because I would not want one of my kids to not have diapers or formula or a house to live in! That baby is only 3 months old and I remember knowing what it was like to STRUGGLE when I had my little girl and honestly if there wouldve been someone to help me out at that time I wouldve LOVED them. Im taking the money and using it on things that are not important at all and that I could do without! And honestly if there is a way I can take out the child support for good then why would I want to send them back the money every week?? Its more trouble for them and for me. It is so funny to me that you wont believe me. I guess it must really be unbelieveable to you for a mother to want to help out her ex.

And the reason why we are doing a step parent adoption is because the girls see my husband as their dad and they see my ex as Sammy. My ex wants them to have a REAL dad not someone who is going to see them once every million years! We live in different states! My husband would love to be the legal father of my girls since he has been the only man in their lives! My ex agrees and he will write them, talk to them, keep in contact. He just understands that my husband is their "daddy" and he does not mind as long as the girls are HAPPY.

Do you understand NOW?

 

[jbowman]

Yes, I understand--you have said it a few times. So just mail the money back--what is the problem????

Or keep it and SAVE it instead of going shopping so you can afford a step parent adoption.

Seriously it is a SIMPLE solution. I never said I didnt believe you but I dont get why youre making such a HUGE issue. Mail the dang money back to them. Tah Dah.

 

[annajm]

Thank you genius. You know what?? Why didnt I think of that!!!
My ex is unemployed, I sent them back the $100 i got from his unemployment check and I do not want to keep doing that! If I can remove it for good and I wont have to worry about getting the money sending it back then why not take that route? That is the reason why i came her to ask! HELLO!! It is an incovience for me to have to send the money back every week and for them to have the money removed from their paycheck every week. It would be convinient for the both.

 

[jbowman]

So you got your answers going the legal route--you didnt like that... you got your answers going the simple route .....you didnt like that (too inconvenient)...

What in the hell do you want?

cuz putting a stamp on an envelope is SO friggin hard, huh, "Genius".

 

[CJane]

He would not be getting back what he paid in because most states charge a surcharge. Ohio for instance charges a 2% poundage fee.

Curious...

Does TX charge a surcharge? I know that MO doesn't... not the payor anyway. I pay CSE $10/year (held out of my 1st payment of the year) for the privelege of using their services, but when Stupidhead sends his check for $398, I get a DD of $398.

 

[annajm]

who said I didnt like my answers going the legal way? If you read my previous posts I thanked whoever it was that told me to contact CSEA which i already wrote them and I asked what steps do i need to take to get it removed. Maybe if you read my posts you wouldnt be so lost in this thread.

 

[annajm]

I dont know if Texas charges a fee because the ex lives in florida, but he did tell me they take out an extra $10 in fees (not sure if it is that is texas or florida )

 

[fairisfair]

who said I didnt like my answers going the legal way? If you read my previous posts I thanked whoever it was that told me to contact CSEA which i already wrote them and I asked what steps do i need to take to get it removed. Maybe if you read my posts you wouldnt be so lost in this thread.

It isn't going to happen. PERIOD. CSE is NOT going to end your child support. Not until your child actually IS adopted by a step parent. The state is not going to place your child in the position of being supported by the state when and if you can no longer support him/her. End of story.

 

[annajm]

what if their money gets lost in the mail genious? I even forget to send out my OWN bills sometimes, i have a 5 yr old, a 2 yr old and a 1 yr old and a million other things in my mind. Yes it is an incovinience for me AND mostly for THEM.

 

[moburkes]

OP, PLEASE get off your high horse.

I don't receive child support. I take care of my children by myself.

I do take issue with that fact that you believe that your husband is their "real" dad.

Who moved? Your or their father?

Again, they don't need to have your current husband's last name. You could keep/revert to your maiden name. All of your children could have your maiden name.

I think that your reasons are bad. I think that their father believes that he is offering the best solution, but I disagree.