I want my name back

[Jsanchz177]

What is the name of your state? California

This past November, I was legally married and changed my name last name to my husbands. But I didn’t want to. I only changed it because of the social pressure to do so and I’m very unhappy. I have yet to go to the dmv or social security office to have it changed to my married name due to not having wanted to change it in the first place. I feel like I’ve lost who I am and walked into this marriage as someone who I’m not. I recently found out that not everyone changes their name when they get married and wish I would’ve known this sooner. My husband suggests I just keep my name as is; as in, to not worry about changing it back because I’m still legally recognized by the dmv, and everywhere else as my maiden name. But I don’t believe that is legal. I tried explaining my situation at the superior court and was given a Name Change packet which I do not understand. I have horrible anxiety and can’t focus on what any of it (the packet) means. Is there a way to have my name stay the way I’ve known it all my life without having to pay to change it?

 

[Zigner]

How did you change your name to your husband's if you never took any steps to change your name? Legally, you haven't changed your name at all. Assuming you have not taken any steps to formally change your name, then your husband is right. You don't have to change it "back" because you never changed it in the first place.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state? California

This past November, I was legally married and changed my name last name to my husbands. But I didn’t want to. I only changed it because of the social pressure to do so and I’m very unhappy. I have yet to go to the dmv or social security office to have it changed to my married name due to not having wanted to change it in the first place. I feel like I’ve lost who I am and walked into this marriage as someone who I’m not. I recently found out that not everyone changes their name when they get married and wish I would’ve known this sooner. My husband suggests I just keep my name as is; as in, to not worry about changing it back because I’m still legally recognized by the dmv, and everywhere else as my maiden name. But I don’t believe that is legal. I tried explaining my situation at the superior court and was given a Name Change packet which I do not understand. I have horrible anxiety and can’t focus on what any of it (the packet) means. Is there a way to have my name stay the way I’ve known it all my life without having to pay to change it?

Oy....

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? California

This past November, I was legally married and changed my name last name to my husbands. But I didn’t want to. I only changed it because of the social pressure to do so and I’m very unhappy. I have yet to go to the dmv or social security office to have it changed to my married name due to not having wanted to change it in the first place. I feel like I’ve lost who I am and walked into this marriage as someone who I’m not. I recently found out that not everyone changes their name when they get married and wish I would’ve known this sooner. My husband suggests I just keep my name as is; as in, to not worry about changing it back because I’m still legally recognized by the dmv, and everywhere else as my maiden name. But I don’t believe that is legal. I tried explaining my situation at the superior court and was given a Name Change packet which I do not understand. I have horrible anxiety and can’t focus on what any of it (the packet) means. Is there a way to have my name stay the way I’ve known it all my life without having to pay to change it?

Explain to me what method you used to change your name to your husband's if you haven't submitted anything to the Social Security Administration yet?

 

[adjusterjack]

Is there a way to have my name stay the way I’ve known it all my life without having to pay to change it?

Yes, there is.

Just don't change it. Keep it as is.

Your marriage certificate ALLOWS you to change your name to your husband's last name if you want to and is the documentation that allows you to do so. It doesn't require you to change it.

It is perfectly legal for you to keep your name.

Your husband is right, officially you are still you and you can keep it that way.

 

[justalayman]

isnt There a section in the California application where you put whatever name you will be taking through the marriage? I couldn’t find the app but I thought when we dealt with a name situation. Before that was what was present.

 

[Zigner]

isnt There a section in the California application where you put whatever name you will be taking through the marriage? I couldn’t find the app but I thought when we dealt with a name situation. Before that was what was present.

Yes, there is, but if you never take the steps to change it, it's a moot point.

 

[adjusterjack]

My husband suggests I just keep my name as is; as in, to not worry about changing it back because I’m still legally recognized by the dmv, and everywhere else as my maiden name. But I don’t believe that is legal.

It's legal.

As a matter of fact, Section 306.5 of the California Family specifically allows you to use your maiden name in spite of what you put on your marriage license. See (b)(5) and (c).

http://leginfo.legislature.ca.gov/faces/codes_displayText.xhtml?lawCode=FAM&division=3.&title=&part=1.&chapter=&article=