i want to see my son

[scott4]

i understand. so I don't give her any more money till the court orders it. We agreed on 400.00 a month. whats your thoughts. I am looking for work . I just moved. I did not pay her any money this month. thanks for all the help. I'm getting the picture

 

[fairisfair]

i understand. so I don't give her any more money till the court orders it. We agreed on 400.00 a month. whats your thoughts. I am looking for work . I just moved. I did not pay her any money this month. thanks for all the help. I'm getting the picture

Any monies that you give to her, prior to a child support order being issued by the court, may well be considered gifts. I would, however, suggest that you still put that money away, in an account, as you will probably be paying retroactive support when the court order is made.

 

[Ithildriel]

i understand. so I don't give her any more money till the court orders it. We agreed on 400.00 a month. whats your thoughts. I am looking for work . I just moved. I did not pay her any money this month. thanks for all the help. I'm getting the picture

Out of curiosity, did you move closer to her, or away from her?

 

[scott4]

I moved to los angeles county closer to my parents at a friends house. she lives with her parents in orange county, about 2 hours away on a good day lots of traffic

 

[scott4]

new question. I contacted a attorney and set up an appointment for next week, he wants 1500.00 to start. then another attorney called me from fathers rights and he said he could take my case for 1850.00 but would walk me thru the whole process but i would go to court on my own. they would handle all the paper work and everything else. he lives out of state. any thoughts?

 

[fairisfair]

contact legal aid, see if you are eligible for assistance. Mom may decide to file through CSE, in that case, they will handle all the paperwork for the child support, and you will pretty much be walked through everything including the establishment of paternity, and child support award. Then, you might want to hire an attorney to help you with petition for custody and visitation, it is possible, but difficult to do it yourself (pro se)

 

[scott4]

what does CSE mean?

 

[ezmarelda]

what does CSE mean?

Child
Support
Enforcement

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Scott,
Get your butt over to the Family Law Facilitators office on Monday, I already gave you the info.

 

[scott4]

I'm called and they are only open wed and thurs so I well be there. thank you.

 

[scott4]

new question. My ex called me last night and she doesn't what to go to court. she said as long as I pay her the child support that we agreed to that I can see my son when I want too. should I get this in writing and have her sign something? I an trying to keep this mess out of court if I can help it. thanks

 

[Ithildriel]

Not legal advice, but

new question. My ex called me last night and she doesn't what to go to court. she said as long as I pay her the child support that we agreed to that I can see my son when I want too. should I get this in writing and have her sign something? I an trying to keep this mess out of court if I can help it. thanks

my understanding is that getting it in writing will mean nothing, unless it is drafted up in a legal format, and you have it signed by a judge.

Edit to add: Don't forget IAAL's advice that if you do not find out paternity before child is 2 years, you may end up supporting a child that is not yours for the next 18 years. This very well could be why she is trying to keep this out of court. That way she can make this type of out of court agreement with multiple men, collecting from all on the same child.

I really think the money up front to do this right now, is going to save you money in the long run. Just my unprofessional opinion.

 

[fairisfair]

my understanding is that getting it in writing will mean nothing, unless it is drafted up in a legal format, and you have it signed by a judge.

Edit to add: Don't forget IAAL's advice that if you do not find out paternity before child is 2 years, you may end up supporting a child that is not yours for the next 18 years. This very well could be why she is trying to keep this out of court. That way she can make this type of out of court agreement with multiple men, collecting from all on the same child.

I really think the money up front to do this right now, is going to save you money in the long run. Just my unprofessional opinion.

Pretty darned good advice!! Scott, you need to do this the right way. For your child (if it is yours) as well as yourself.

 

[jaf72]

new question. My ex called me last night and she doesn't what to go to court. she said as long as I pay her the child support that we agreed to that I can see my son when I want too. should I get this in writing and have her sign something? I an trying to keep this mess out of court if I can help it. thanks

I am not a lawyer... but I feel the need to say this... I know someone who did just this, and guess what? He got screwed. Whenever his ex was angry with him... no visits, she just wouldn't answer the phone. This went on for over a year. Unless you have court orders giving you visitation, you don't have visitation. Oh, and when he finally did go to court to get it all settled, all the money he gave her didn't count towards child support. It was a gift. Mighty generous of him, huh?

Go to court, get your COURT ORDERED visitation and COURT ORDERED child support amount. Until then, you have NOTHING!!!!!!!

 

[Ohiogal]

new question. My ex called me last night and she doesn't what to go to court. she said as long as I pay her the child support that we agreed to that I can see my son when I want too. should I get this in writing and have her sign something? I an trying to keep this mess out of court if I can help it. thanks

A hand written agreement means nothing unless the court signs off on it. She can say whatever she wants. She doesn't want to go to court becaue then she is FORCED to give you visitation. Without a court order she can play all the games she wants to and there is squat you can do.
If you don't do a paternity test, get court ordered child support and visitation/custody, don't expect help when you come back here in three months or three weeks griping that she backed out of her agreement which she signed.