I was stupid...

[garrula lingua]

OP, Why haven't you filed an application with the Attorney General's Office to modify your child support ?
It's slow, but it's FREE (and they know how much he earns).

You have to prove there has been a material change in the financial situation of Dad or Mom, or the needs of the children have changed (not a hard hurdle if you work at substantiation this with actual figures), since the last c/s order.

The court usually looks at three years for a modification (that's just a presumption which can be overcome by proof of need) and whatever period, it has to be 20% or $100 difference from the current c/s (not hard in your case).

Google oag.gov or 'Office of the Attorney General'. You can apply online, or there is a listing of offices for your personal application.

File for the c/s. If he fights visitation (possession & access) later, the OAG should attend and may be helpful to you (they are great at putting a wage assignment in place very quickly, and employers know to honor those WAs).

 

[LdiJ]

Yes, I asked him. Yes, he carries the insurance. Might I add the insurance doesn't cost him anything extra since he is on the family plan.

I have asked him. This is the man who told me, four years ago, that if I couldn't afford to keep them in the same manner and style that he could, then HE should have full custody.

There is no reasoning with him when it comes to money. None.

I just have to comment on this...because I have know people like your ex.

A prime example:

Back in the days when I had serious money, I had a full time nanny/housekeeper. During those 12 years, I had 4 different housekeepers. One of them was a 65 year old woman who took the job because her retired husband was driving her nuts...LOL, and the rest were women who, for one reason or another found it beneficial to have jobs, for a few years, where they could have their children with them.

One of my housekeepers had been an sahm, but their family needed some extra income. So the job was the best of both worlds for her. Her husband was an unbelievable miser. Just as an example, he would not go grocery shopping with her, but when she came back from the store, he would go through everything that she purchased and make her take back anything that he didn't approve of...despite the fact that she was a very careful shopper.

On top of that, he would often deny she and the children (and himself) medical care, even though he had really fantastic insurance through his work. Why? Because it would generate a "bill" (even if he didn't have to pay it) and he didn't believe in "bills".

Anyway, one time, for some reason, both of them were talking to me about a dispute about money. In his discussion with me he kept saying "my money, my money". Since they were both working I looked at him and said "whose money?" He gave me a baffled look and then stated "ok, your money too" (the discussion was over money she spent out of her paycheck from me) I told him that he was hopeless, and unless he grasped the concept that the money they both earned was "their" money, he was going to end up divorced.

A few months later she had to quit because his job transferred him several states away. I ran into him a few years later (he was in town visiting relatives) and low and behold, they were divorced...and she was the one who left him. He admitted that I was right, and that she finally got to the point where she couldn't take it anymore and divorced his sorry butt. (his words)...and then complained about how much his child support and medical expenses were costing him.

Moral of the story? If your ex, male or female, was a miser about money while you were together, or was a spendthrift about money, its not going to change after you split up or divorce. Those same problems will exist and you will have to deal with them, one way or another.

 

[garrula lingua]

Whoa, Ldij, at least no one's going through her grocery sacks!

What a miser! Life's too short - ya gotta laugh, scratch, and splurge a little.

 

[LdiJ]

Whoa, Ldij, at least no one's going through her grocery sacks!

What a miser! Life's too short - ya gotta laugh, scratch, and splurge a little.

Yeah...LOL..it was a real eye opener for me.

 

[frylover]

Years ago I knew a preschool teacher who requested the small bottles of glue because they were easier for little hands to manage. A mom came to her in tears saying she was sorry but she had to buy the big bottle because "my husband won't let me get the small bottles because the big ones are cheaper per ounce."