I'll try this again...

[SMinNJ]

Yeah, I could see that being a problem. For the most part, I don't read the emails that my ex-wife sends to our daughter. Sometimes my curiosity get the better of me, though.

I did read an email my ex-wife sent to our daughter. The subject was my wife's name . . . and it was an ridiculously long email completely trashing my wife. I did not delete it, though. My daughter read it, and sent back a rather blistering reply to her mom, telling her to never speak about my wife that way, that my wife is the one who raises the kids because my ex-wife doesn't care enough.

It was pretty powerful stuff for a 14 year old, but I have to say that I was pretty proud of her for seeing things how they really are, and having the courage to stand up to her mother and tell her how she feels.

I bet... That was how my husband and I felt when my stepdaughter came to us and said that she wanted to be with us full-time. Her reasons were not childish, at least we don't think so... she told us that her mother never checked her homework, never gave her advice about situations with her friends, never shared in her hobbies (like cooking, or crocheting). She told us that her mother repeatedly told her to put up with things that my stepdaughter thought were unfair, not because my stepdaughter was wrong, but because mom's new husband (he was new at the time) might think that my stepdaughter didn't like his kids or him. She wanted to go to church and to just hang out with her dad at different times, and was told that she couldn't, sometimes just because mom was mad at dad. And then, there were other times that she asked and he asked, and both were told no, because there were other plans. Those nights, without error, were nights my stepdaughter spent alone in her room, because there were no other plans. My stepdaughter told him that she wanted to live with him because her mom didn't act like a mom, but he acted like a dad. She wrote that to the court too - brave girl.

Unfortunately, we see where her bravery has gotten her. :-(.

I urge you to respect your daughter and her mom's privacy all the time - even though it might be hard to resist... especially since your daughter has proven that she can and will stand up for herself and those she loves against her mother, if necessary.

Take care...

sminnj

 

[casa]

NJ specific GAL guidelines can be found at:

http://www.judiciary.state.nj.us/rules/r5-8b.htm

That addresses some of the questions you asked (ie; do they confer with opposing counsel? Yes. Do they have to itemize billing? No, not until their conclusion. etc. etc.)

Interestingly, I could not find an Office of the Ombudsmen for NJ~ and searching the United registry, found no oversight agency for NJ. I'm still looking, but found that rather odd.