Incarcerated And Ordered To Pay Support

[Zephyr]

come on, let's not slam this woman, she obviously took her vows very seriously, that is commendable, maybe not the decision some of us would make but she is standing by her husband, and even going above and beyond and going to help support his other child while he is unable to......

there is nothing to insult here, loyalty is a virtue, he is very lucky to have her.

 

[LdiJ]

come on, let's not slam this woman, she obviously took her vows very seriously, that is commendable, maybe not the decision some of us would make but she is standing by her husband, and even going above and beyond and going to help support his other child while he is unable to......

there is nothing to insult here, loyalty is a virtue, he is very lucky to have her.

I have to agree. I also think her decision is a very practical one in light of the fact that she plans to stay behind her husband. In the end, it will be far less costly for them, as a family, to pay the support now....rather than deal with the arrearages later.

 

[Sugarbaby1977]

Yes, my husband is as religious as I am. God is standing by our side every step of the way. My husband, again isn't a bad person, he was just with the wrong people at the wrong time. All of my kids are well taken care of. I should have known I would get such negative feedback from people. I guess it's from lack of understanding and never being put in the situation. It's easy to say what you would and/or wouldn't do until you are actually in the situation. Had I known that my husband would go to jail before we were married I probably would have never married him. Had I known it was going to be this hard, I would have never married him. I chose to stick it through like I vowed. My husband would do the same. Please don't get me wrong, I did mess up while he was gone and it almost killed our marriage for that one night and a child. Like I said God is standing by our side and we are working on our marriage. Marriage is work and if someone told you it wasn't they lied to you.

Thank you to those of you that see how all of this could work out and how much sense it does make.

 

[stephenk]

Huh? You had a kid while still married to your husband? Does that guy support his child? I bet he doesn't.

 

[john123456]

I took a vow before him and GOD to stay with him in GOOD TIMES AND BAD, IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH UNTIL DEATH DO US PART!


Did that vow include monogamy?

 

[momof1cutie]

my son's father is currently in prison & has about 2 more yrs. to go. He went in still obligated to pay $750 per month child support, so I figured by the time he gets out he'll owe close to $25-$30 thousand in back pay. His ewife now left before he was sentenced for whatever reason(s), so obviously their marriage wasn't very strong. even if it was i doubt she would've offered to pay any of his child support to our son. your husband should never forget what you will do for him.

 

[VA_Mom]

my son's father is currently in prison & has about 2 more yrs. to go. He went in still obligated to pay $750 per month child support, so I figured by the time he gets out he'll owe close to $25-$30 thousand in back pay. His ewife now left before he was sentenced for whatever reason(s), so obviously their marriage wasn't very strong. even if it was i doubt she would've offered to pay any of his child support to our son. your husband should never forget what you will do for him.

I don't understand why some people continue to seek child support at high amounts for men that are incarcerated. I know I will probably get slammed for that comment but I suspended enforcement for my ex during the time he was incarcerated. Even though I was angry he left me as being the sole provider, I grew from it. I also didn't want him to be so overwhelmed when he got out that he would always be working vs. offering actual parenting time. Children in that situation would do anything to be around their parent instead of the new shiny bicycle.

 

[saintkbsmom67]

I don't understand why some people continue to seek child support at high amounts for men that are incarcerated. I know I will probably get slammed for that comment but I suspended enforcement for my ex during the time he was incarcerated. Even though I was angry he left me as being the sole provider, I grew from it. I also didn't want him to be so overwhelmed when he got out that he would always be working vs. offering actual parenting time. Children in that situation would do anything to be around their parent instead of the new shiny bicycle.

Everyone doesn't think like you. THis woman obviously wants her marriage to work. And his responsibilities don't halt because he's gone to jail. Why should anyone have to wait til their children's fathers are out of jail to be given a new life and start fresh from a debt? Maybe they will or maybe they won't see another dime, but the fact is there is an amount to be paid once released. She'd be better off paying the sum than having to worry about it when he comes out. Who knows where they will be financially?

 

[VA_Mom]

Everyone doesn't think like you. THis woman obviously wants her marriage to work. And his responsibilities don't halt because he's gone to jail. Why should anyone have to wait til their children's fathers are out of jail to be given a new life and start fresh from a debt? Maybe they will or maybe they won't see another dime, but the fact is there is an amount to be paid once released. She'd be better off paying the sum than having to worry about it when he comes out. Who knows where they will be financially?

I wasn't talking about the poster who's husband was ordered to pay $80/month which I think is quite low but instead refering to the ex who sought support at $750/mo while the father was incarcerated. At that rate, she will most likely never see the support paid in full and the tendency of the incarcerated parent to not visit when he is released due to the amount of arrearages is highly probable. I would have requested the amount to be set lower while incarcerated.

In my case, I had a choice of keeping the amount the same as before he went in or suspending enforcement until he was released. At that point, over $10,000 had racked up in arrearages and my main concern was that he spent time with our son when he got out instead of being terrified that he would be found in contempt and go back to jail or working from 6am to 12am each day (which knowing him he would do vs. taking the runaway approach) with no quality time with a child who had missed his father during his early years of childhood. No, it's not right what his father did to not just himself but also the pain my son goes through from missing his father. So the least I can do is bust my behind at work and pray that his dad gets out soon to fill in the emotional gap that my child needs more so than money can ever fill.

 

[momof1cutie]

the court order was established about 3 yrs. before he went in and even though his support helped the household, it was never something that i totally relied on to support our son. i think my son's father might be in a different situation then most b/c he will be taken care of financially by his parents...house, money and vehicle. as for a job, he's been in his line of work for about 15yrs., so i'm praying that he can get right back in there. when we have spoken on the phone & in letters, he has not once mentioned the support issue. his main concern is getting to know our son since he has not seen him 2yrs. before he went in. his mother had actually asked me to stop child support, but i feel our son is still his financial obligation and even though he's not able to contibute now...he will try when he gets out.

 

[AHA]

Can we get back to the OP's issue instead of threadjacking??
If 2 people here wants so badly to discuss someone else's legal issue, then feel free to start a new thread that is all about that, and leave this one to the OP. I'm sure OP's purpose in posting here was to get advice for HER situation.

 

[Sugarbaby1977]

Huh? You had a kid while still married to your husband? Does that guy support his child? I bet he doesn't.

Yes, I did. I made an admitted mistake. It happens. My husband has been gone for a long time, I fell weak, I'm human. I'm waiting for the court order now for his father to care for him. I just had this child in August. I don't need him to do it, but it is his obligation to help support our child. I wish that he would be a daddy versus a father because my son deserves that. My son will be fine with or without him because he has plenty of uncles, my husband, grandfather and a host of cousins to love him and show him how a real man is supposed to be.

 

[Sugarbaby1977]

I took a vow before him and GOD to stay with him in GOOD TIMES AND BAD, IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH UNTIL DEATH DO US PART!


Did that vow include monogamy?

YES my vows included monogamy. There is alot that you don't know about my story. I only wanted one thing answered, not all of these other questions. As I said before I fell weak. Had my husband not been incarcerated I never would have cheated. I am human and I messed up. With God on my side I will never make that mistake again.

 

[Sugarbaby1977]

my son's father is currently in prison & has about 2 more yrs. to go. He went in still obligated to pay $750 per month child support, so I figured by the time he gets out he'll owe close to $25-$30 thousand in back pay. His ewife now left before he was sentenced for whatever reason(s), so obviously their marriage wasn't very strong. even if it was i doubt she would've offered to pay any of his child support to our son. your husband should never forget what you will do for him.

He won't he knows that I'm a good woman. He knows that if he was with anyone else he would be doing his time by himself and have no one to give him hope.