Increased Needs of the Child

[lilsister]

What is the name of your state? NY

My husband's ex has been trying to get a CS increase for the past several months. Her petition keeps getting thrown out because she is not mentioning the needs of the child.

They had a stipulation of settlement for $150 per week that was merged into the divorce decree. The magistrate has told her in the past whenever she has filed for an increase it is VERY hard to modify a supreme court order for a divorce decree and that she has to show an unforeseen change in circumstances or substantial increased needs of the child.

To date, she has been denied every time she has requested an increase b/c she never really showed any increases in expenses that I guess the court thought were valid.

Anyway, what could constitute a substantial increase in the needs of a child? The child is 14 years old. Anyone with a 14 year old care to shed some light? Our children are toddlers so we're kind of in the dark at the types of expenses that go along with a teenager other than food, shelter and clothing. What would be some valid expenses? Thanks!

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? NY

My husband's ex has been trying to get a CS increase for the past several months. Her petition keeps getting thrown out because she is not mentioning the needs of the child.

They had a stipulation of settlement for $150 per week that was merged into the divorce decree. The magistrate has told her in the past whenever she has filed for an increase it is VERY hard to modify a supreme court order for a divorce decree and that she has to show an unforeseen change in circumstances or substantial increased needs of the child.

To date, she has been denied every time she has requested an increase b/c she never really showed any increases in expenses that I guess the court thought were valid.

Anyway, what could constitute a substantial increase in the needs of a child? The child is 14 years old. Anyone with a 14 year old care to shed some light? Our children are toddlers so we're kind of in the dark at the types of expenses that go along with a teenager other than food, shelter and clothing. What would be some valid expenses? Thanks!

Well, one thing that I can think of is that clothing for teenagers is just as expensive as adult clothing. So that is one area that is a signficantly increased expense. In addition, teenagers eat a LOT more than younger children, so there is another increased expense. Often school supplies are significantly more expensive for teenagers as well, and school lunches definitely cost more. They also need alot more personal hygiene items in the teen years.

The bottom line is that it was alot more expensive to raise my daughter once she hit her teen years. I would say that it easily doubled. Clothing however was definitely the biggest increase in cost.

 

[enjay]

School related fees add up too. When DS was in elementary school I bought $20 worth of school supplies a year and paid for the occasional field trip. Now that he's in middle school, I paid close to $200 at the beginning of the year for various fees, about $200 for school supplies (including the dreaded calculator required for algebra) and easly pay $20 a month for other school expenses.

 

[Accountable]

I have a 14 year old

14 year old girls are very expensive. In addition to the added expenses mentioned by LdiJ, I am also being besieged with expenses for extracurricular expenses, such as choir functions, school related sports expenses, entry fees for schoolastic competitions. Sports equipment and uniforms are more expensive for this age group as well. Then there are the school events, such as parties, etc, spending money for going to the mall or movie with friends, etc.

And, don't forget, in just two years that child will be 16 and then the costs go up even more with driver's education, car and insurance expenses, gasoline, prom, homecoming.....it's only uphill from then on.

 

[lilsister]

Thank you very much - we appreciate the insight b/c we truly had no idea. This child is a boy but we would imagine the same expenses apply.

Thank you to all who responded!

But one other question - is child support meant for parties, spending money at the mall, buying a car, etc.? We thought it was just for essentials like food, shelter and clothing but I could be wrong?! Again, we're not really in the know since our kids are so little and I'll be darned if I can remember when I was 14!

 

[lilsister]

And sorry about my thread being posted twice. =(

 

[fairisfair]

Thank you very much - we appreciate the insight b/c we truly had no idea. This child is a boy but we would imagine the same expenses apply.

Thank you to all who responded!

But one other question - is child support meant for parties, spending money at the mall, buying a car, etc.? We thought it was just for essentials like food, shelter and clothing but I could be wrong?! Again, we're not really in the know since our kids are so little and I'll be darned if I can remember when I was 14!

who exactly should be paying for spending money, and the rest?

 

[Silverplum]

who exactly should be paying for spending money, and the rest?

In my world, as a child and as a parent, it was the child earning his/her own spending money.

 

[fairisfair]

In my world, as a child and as a parent, it was the child earning his/her own spending money.

The child is 14. In my state he can't get a job for 2 more years. Oh, I know, mowing lawns and the like, but hey, we don't have grass here either!!! LOL . you are just mean! LOL

 

[nextwife]

In my world, as a child and as a parent, it was the child earning his/her own spending money.

You too? My parents expected me to babysit if I wanted extra spending money.

I also did NOT have the option of just going out and buying at retail. I might be alloyed to get this or that item, but ONLY if and when I could buy it for a price acceptable to my parents. Just because some kids had it did NOT mean my parents were obligated to get it for me, or to get it THEN for me. If I wanted a certain cool shoe, I had to wait until some hefty discounts were available, or not buy it. My dad was terminally ill when I was a teen, and becoming a teen doesn't automatically mean that one's parents are obligated (or ABLE) to just open their wallets for every whim of teen fancy.

My daughter's been asking for a game console for four years. We finally relented, she bought one used ($30) from a friend who was buying a WII, and she used money she earned doing chores, and we kicked in and bought a couple games (also used, at $1-6 on Half.com rather than $19-40 at the retail store). Much of the trick of accommodating kids needs is NOT how much one makes, but how much one spends.

 

[Just Blue]

Thank you very much - we appreciate the insight b/c we truly had no idea. This child is a boy but we would imagine the same expenses apply.

Thank you to all who responded!

But one other question - is child support meant for parties, spending money at the mall, buying a car, etc.? We thought it was just for essentials like food, shelter and clothing but I could be wrong?! Again, we're not really in the know since our kids are so little and I'll be darned if I can remember when I was 14!

Does your husband only contribute "the essentials" for your children? Why would it be different for his other child?

 

[lilsister]

I babysat too at 14 and I came from a house of four kids where hand-me-downs were the rule. My hubby is 1 of 9 so you can only imagine how his parents managed.

Anyway, thanks again for all the insight - it's been really helpful! Just an FYI, we are big fans of Old Navy and Marshalls for inexpensive yet wearable/stylish clothing for us and our kids so I think if somone is on a budget, they can find ways to buy the clothing and extras without going over budget or going into hock.

Thanks again everyone!

 

[Ohiogal]

Legally however none of you have hit the answer. Young kids are expensive as well -- formula and diapers for babies, upgrading furniture for toddlers to big kids. The expenses are ALWAYS there but they change so truthfully none of those matter.

The needs of a child are food, shelter, medicine. Education is free in a public school. Costs do not change that much through the years. Clothing can be purchased less expensively -- at thrift stores, Walmart and such compared to going to A&F.

So what are the substantial changes for food -- if the child needs a special diet or supplements and the food is expensive. Such as the child can only eat organic foods or cannot eat gluten -- not that they made a CHOICE to do so but can only.

What you are basically looking at are medical reasons -- if the child develops allergies or illnesses that impact their needs that could very likely cause a substantial increase in the needs of the child.

The child wanting spending money or designer clothes -- those are NOT needs. Neither is being in band, driving a car, wanting to go to football camp or anything else.

 

[qurice]

Maybe I'm wrong on this, but I thought that just because the kids are older and have more "expenses", that alone that it isn't a reason for support to go up.

If Dad is making more money, then yes, it should be adjusted. But I thought there had to be a significant change of income(s) for a modification, not just because teenagers cost more.

 

[nextwife]

The child is 14. In my state he can't get a job for 2 more years. Oh, I know, mowing lawns and the like, but hey, we don't have grass here either!!! LOL . you are just mean! LOL

My brother reffed Little League (or something like that) at 14 on Saturday mornings.

I also trimmed bushes and did yard clean up and planted flowers at his properties for my dad in my early teens.