Increased visitation time

[NotSoNew]

just want to add, my husband is requesting 50/50 right now. He currently has joint legal custody and visitation only (no joint physical). The lawyer advised him 50/50 is not a change in custody.

 

[mommyto 2]

Thanks rmet, I have a call into my son's therapist. Also it is interesting to note that in the motion the ex states that my son said I understand him better because he is with me more, and that he wants that same chance now. He also stated that he is not asking for reduced child support at this time. My son has stated to me that ex will not let him grow up and make choices and that he always starts fights. In teresting if nothing else.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Thanks rmet, I have a call into my son's therapist. Also it is interesting to note that in the motion the ex states that my son said I understand him better because he is with me more, and that he wants that same chance now. He also stated that he is not asking for reduced child support at this time. My son has stated to me that ex will not let him grow up and make choices and that he always starts fights. In teresting if nothing else.

"Sibling rivalry" between a parent with the disorder and any child is common due to the egocentric and immature nature of the disorder. Unfortunately, your child's ability to make "choices" will always be limited because abstraction is limited, thus like his father, they both learn by rote, it is difficult to teach a child to make choices who cannot abstract when the parent can't abstract themselves. I have seen parents with this disorder believe that children should drink "soda" rather than milk, their logic being that they (Parent) likes soda better, it has nothing to do with the health and nutrition of the child it has to do with their reality.

 

[mommyto 2]

Thanks rmet, That is an ongoing issue, but silly things like if my son wants to zip or not zip his coat on a spring day and having a father argue that he will get sick drives my son nuts. He can't understand why he can't make that decission, and I agree. My ex has hard fast rules, as apparently does his wife. It makes it very difficult for my daughter who lives in the "gray" and rarely see things as black and white, and for my son trying to get him to see the "gray" means flexible parenting. Anyway, I am trying to keep it together, I am in a bit of a daze, can't beleive he would take me back to court AGAIN. I hope the judge sees that as harassing also, not to mention very expensive, I think my ex feels I won't fight due to money. Must be nice that he is in a two income family.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Thanks rmet, That is an ongoing issue, but silly things like if my son wants to zip or not zip his coat on a spring day and having a father argue that he will get sick drives my son nuts. He can't understand why he can't make that decission, and I agree. My ex has hard fast rules, as apparently does his wife. It makes it very difficult for my daughter who lives in the "gray" and rarely see things as black and white, and for my son trying to get him to see the "gray" means flexible parenting. Anyway, I am trying to keep it together, I am in a bit of a daze, can't beleive he would take me back to court AGAIN. I hope the judge sees that as harassing also, not to mention very expensive, I think my ex feels I won't fight due to money. Must be nice that he is in a two income family.

Wait until they argue about how many sheets of toilet paper to use.

 

[mommyto 2]

How funny you should say that! This is an issue at ex's house, to the point that my children hold bm's until they are home with me. To sick... and sad.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

How funny you should say that! This is an issue at ex's house, to the point that my children hold bm's until they are home with me. To sick... and sad.

Remember, there is no logic to their logic, I could go on butt (lol).

 

[mommyto 2]

Do you think if a psychiatric is order all of his issues will come to light? Or is this to risky? Will a GAL be able to gather this info. or a home study?

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Do you think if a psychiatric is order all of his issues will come to light? Or is this to risky? Will a GAL be able to gather this info. or a home study?

A GAL might be the best was to go as they have more latitude and they represent the child and you would need the GAL anyway rather than depend on agreement re a misunderstood mental health Rx.

 

[Ohiogal]

just want to add, my husband is requesting 50/50 right now. He currently has joint legal custody and visitation only (no joint physical). The lawyer advised him 50/50 is not a change in custody.

There is a difference between a change in time and a change in custody. A change in time allotment deals strictly with how much time is given/requested. A change in custody deals with the legalities and definitions of physical custodian (residential parent for instance). Changing the time allotment does not change custody. So petitioning for 50/50 time is not the same as petitioning for joint physical custody. You can have joint physical custody and not have 50/50 time. You can have 50/50 time and not have joint physical custody.