Innocent, yet Reprimanded by College

[Silverplum]

So I know well enough to take this with 'a grain of salt', but still a worthy perspective to keep in mind and this is certainly assisting with the proper language and vocabulary to use. So what do you teach?

What does THAT have to do with YOU?

 

[Humusluvr]

What about common interests in terms of approaching a virtual stranger on a social site like facebook? I do understand laws in this area are still quite fuzzy and gray, but isn't that what a site like facebook is for? To make friends with common interests?

Facebook is a site to reach out to old high school friends, acquaintances, etc. You used Facebook as a tool to hunt down a relative of a professor. I would see that as stalking. Or harassment.

In comparison, both issues are off campus and both involving active members of a college community. In contrast a crime and a very serious and violent one was committed in one case without actions taken by the college. The other is without a crime committed and without violation to the Standards of Conduct, yet action was taken by the college.

At my school, students convicted of felonies would not be permitted to return, due to liability issues. If the school allowed both the rapist (convicted) and person who was raped to remain on campus, that would be a serious liability. I don't see how that correlates to your situation at all. The professor and his wife do not welcome your contact. That has been documented.

And, just to be clear, you are not privy to another students records per FERPA. If you are attempting to use actions by the college in another case to justify your own, you will fail.

So I know well enough to take this with 'a grain of salt', but still a worthy perspective to keep in mind and this is certainly assisting with the proper language and vocabulary to use. So what do you teach?

Students. A lot of them.

Good day

To you also.

 

[TLeigh]

What does THAT have to do with YOU?

BTW...that was a compliment. Look past the 'grain of salt'...that points to third party info. It's the perspective that is worthy here and that's what I'm here for, so that's what it has to do with me

 

[TLeigh]

Facebook is a site to reach out to old high school friends, acquaintances, etc. You used Facebook as a tool to hunt down a relative of a professor. I would see that as stalking. Or harassment.

People are not allowed to look for family??? Really? Show me reference please (other than closed adoptions and restraining orders).

At my school, students convicted of felonies would not be permitted to return, due to liability issues. If the school allowed both the rapist (convicted) and person who was raped to remain on campus, that would be a serious liability. I don't see how that correlates to your situation at all.

They were accused of rape (at the time). I do not know if they were convicted.

The professor and his wife do not welcome your contact. That has been documented.

Only his.

And, just to be clear, you are not privy to another students records per FERPA. If you are attempting to use actions by the college in another case to justify your own, you will fail.

This example was discussed to me in person by the person who declined the request in the rape case and did so well open in the public right on campus. It did not identify anyone, but as three students without names.

Oh...(you'll like this...maybe)

The file has been softened, though a bit more to go for complete eradication of it. The file is non-accessible even for subpoena, but it still exists and now comes the police report.

It's false and I can show that and it's false enough to give the wrong impression. The emails were turned in sometime after the report was filed and the director did say she did not read through them. She fumbled a lot on all the discrepancies and especially about the email I initially sent to her. She went as far as to say she replied, then changed her story right before I left, saying it was gone...lost...she couldn't find it. Papers that were in the file during the first meeting were missing for the second and unfortunately both meetings went without witness. She was also very quick and persistent to destroy a particular form, but still keep the file, rather than just write another letter to trump the one before it. I stopped her and she typed out a new letter.

This seems to be going almost too easy considering what's been noted in this thread. I have a feeling she's hiding something and not necessarily direct to my case. Something seems very amiss. What do you think?

What is it you teach? (not whom) silly...(read comment to silverplum). You and your friend helped me succeed today. I have more work to do. There is another meeting.

 

[stealth2]

I can tell you that, (while I was still married) if one of my ex's students had contacted me because s/he wasn't getting anywhere with my then husband? I'd have told him (my then husband) that I did not appreciate being contacted by his students regarding their academic issues and to do whatever needed to be done to stop it.

Really - you crossed a line contacting his wife.

 

[TLeigh]

I can tell you that, (while I was still married) if one of my ex's students had contacted me because s/he wasn't getting anywhere with my then husband? I'd have told him (my then husband) that I did not appreciate being contacted by his students regarding their academic issues and to do whatever needed to be done to stop it.

Really - you crossed a line contacting his wife.

What do you mean by "academic issues"? This wasn't an academic issue until the false police report was filed and forwarded to student affairs.

And the police report is false. I just saw it yesterday for the first time and it's intentional. Just need to show someone.

BTW...no one told me I couldn't message her until AFTER the fact.

 

[stealth2]

What do you mean by "academic issues"? This wasn't an academic issue until the false police report was filed and forwarded to student affairs.

And the police report is false. I just saw it yesterday for the first time and it's intentional. Just need to show someone.

BTW...no one told me I couldn't message her until AFTER the fact.

If it wasn't an academic issue, why were you even contacting the prof?

As for not contacting her? Seriously - you needed someone to tell you it was not appropriate? Would you contact your boss's spouse if your boss wasn't responding the way you wanted? No - not appropriate. Work and personal life should be separate. You were out of line. Period.

 

[Humusluvr]

People are not allowed to look for family??? Really? Show me reference please (other than closed adoptions and restraining orders).

You know darn well she is not your family.

The file has been softened, though a bit more to go for complete eradication of it. The file is non-accessible even for subpoena, but it still exists and now comes the police report.

It's false and I can show that and it's false enough to give the wrong impression. The emails were turned in sometime after the report was filed and the director did say she did not read through them. She fumbled a lot on all the discrepancies and especially about the email I initially sent to her. She went as far as to say she replied, then changed her story right before I left, saying it was gone...lost...she couldn't find it. Papers that were in the file during the first meeting were missing for the second and unfortunately both meetings went without witness. She was also very quick and persistent to destroy a particular form, but still keep the file, rather than just write another letter to trump the one before it. I stopped her and she typed out a new letter.

Your "file" is never going to go away. You just may not be privy to that.

This seems to be going almost too easy considering what's been noted in this thread. I have a feeling she's hiding something and not necessarily direct to my case. Something seems very amiss. What do you think?

I think the director probably has a ton of cases on her plate (the director at my school sees students every day, all day, in half hour chunks - so at least 16 a day) and she probably doesn't remember the facts of your case. It doesn't mean the proof isn't there, it means she doesn't keep your file open on her desk all day. Life goes on, you're just a case # to her.

What is it you teach? (not whom) silly...(read comment to silverplum). You and your friend helped me succeed today. I have more work to do. There is another meeting.

I teach courses and topics that help students be successful in their professional careers and lives. Things like, "Don't cross certain boundaries" and "Facebook can get you into a world of trouble." I teach that to both my undergrads and my graduate students.

And, no, I won't be your friend on Facebook either. I don't want you contacting my whole family.

Do you not get how that is super creepy and stalkerish? If one of my students looked me up on Facebook and contacted anyone in my family, I would have a disciplinary file on them in Judicial Affairs before they could hit "like."

 

[TLeigh]

If it wasn't an academic issue, why were you even contacting the prof?

As for not contacting her? Seriously - you needed someone to tell you it was not appropriate? Would you contact your boss's spouse if your boss wasn't responding the way you wanted? No - not appropriate. Work and personal life should be separate. You were out of line. Period.

The prof has another profession in research and that is how I approached him and she may be family (small world...it happens). She has the same birth name and is from the same state as this relative of mine. FAMILY! So just how out of line was I to attempt to contact her just once on a public site?

 

[Humusluvr]

The prof has another profession in research and that is how I approached him and she may be family (small world...it happens). She has the same birth name and is from the same state as this relative of mine. FAMILY! So just how out of line was I to attempt to contact her just once on a public site?

Were you friends with this professor on Facebook?

 

[TLeigh]

The advice given in this thread basically says it is OK for someone to lie on a police report. It is not OK to search for family using pubic access. It is OK to be written up without a crime committed to the alleged victim and without violations to Standards of Conduct. It is OK for Student Affairs to lie...and horribly at that. It is OK to receive threats.

Whatever happened to taking a situation at face value rather than assume intentions?

It's been 'educational'. Thanks.

Folks...go elsewhere...find free consultation with a real lawyer.

 

[I_Got_Banned]

The advice given in this thread basically says it is OK for someone to lie on a police report.

There was no "lie". Professor felt harassed and as a result, he reported the matter to the police. Just because your actions did not meet the legal definition of "harassment" does not mean his report was a "lie".

It is not OK to search for family using pubic access.

Your intent in contacting his wife was not a "search for a family member"... Did your message say "Hi, are we related?" or did it say "your husband won't answer my question so could you answer it for me?".... BIG difference!!!

It is OK to be written up without a crime committed to the alleged victim and without violations to Standards of Conduct.

The incident is being kept in your file for obvious reasons (if it is repeated or if it escalates to more alleged "harassment" then they have a history that they can utilize to take further action).

It is OK for Student Affairs to lie...and horribly at that.

Again, there was no "lie"... Your actions were documented in your file for future reference. Just because you claim your intent was something different than what it obviously is, does not make it a lie.

It is OK to receive threats.

Nope it certainly is NOT. But is is not OK to harass people just because you feel you're "entitled" to a response.

It's been 'educational'. Thanks.

That's why I love this forum... I learn something new every day.

Folks...go elsewhere...find free consultation with a real lawyer.

How about you do that and come back and correct all those who offered opinions here!!!

 

[Humusluvr]

The advice given in this thread basically says it is OK for someone to lie on a police report. It is not OK to search for family using pubic access. It is OK to be written up without a crime committed to the alleged victim and without violations to Standards of Conduct. It is OK for Student Affairs to lie...and horribly at that. It is OK to receive threats.

Whatever happened to taking a situation at face value rather than assume intentions?

It's been 'educational'. Thanks.

Folks...go elsewhere...find free consultation with a real lawyer.

I'm sorry to tell you this, but I'm beginning to think you're delusional. This thread has repeatedly offered you the perspective of how the Student Affairs office sees things, how the professor and his family see things, and how the public would see things. And since you're the one providing all the details, and even based on your distorted perception of the facts - we can STILL tell that you are trying to lie your way out of this, I don't think even a "real" lawyer could help you. You told us your intentions. We told you that stalking a professor's family to get your answer WAS harassing, and since you both work at the school, they have to document that. I don't see how you can't get it. The situation, at face value, is harassment.

 

[TLeigh]

To entertain all the wonderful people who partook in this thread...

The file is about fully expunged. Just have the police report to deal with and show it was certainly mistaken. That's when the entire file will be completely expunged.

Thank you all. You folks are just soooooooooooooo compassionate.

 

[stealth2]

To entertain all the wonderful people who partook in this thread...

The file is about fully expunged. Just have the police report to deal with and show it was certainly mistaken. That's when the entire file will be completely expunged.

Thank you all. You folks are just soooooooooooooo compassionate.

LOL! OG EFFECT at work!