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What is the name of your state? Il.

My husband left six months ago. I am not sure of what his plans are for the future, but my question is this-

Is it legal for him to not come around for weeks and then, of course rightfully using his key for the house, come into the house unannounced and basically "burst" through the door of whatever room I'm in and start questioning me? I know we share equal rights to the house and he can move back in if he chooses, but he should either stay or stay gone; not just pop in anytime he pleases and invade my privacy. Last night he embarrassed me and questioned my friend (a woman) when we were trying to leave to go to dinner. I left the house and got into the car, while she felt trapped and stayed inside until I started beeping. Even when she got into the car, he stood between her seat and the door. I finally had to pull away from the curb to get him to move; it was horrible! He then continued to call her on her cellphone! He claimed that I was the one "out of control" because he wasn't screaming or yelling, but that doesn't mean he wasn't behaving inappropriately.

Without getting a divorce or legal separation at this point, is there anything I can do to stop him from these "invasions"? They're very scary and stressful for my family and friends. Thanks for any advice. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel on edge and afraid in my home.


Senior Member
You don't wish to file for anything?

Then either ignore him, change the locks, or both
Last edited:



Hi Next Wife-

No, I don't want to file for anything at this point. Due to the recent loss of his mother, I am trying to give him some time to possibly return to the person I've known for over 15 years. However, that's just not happening at this point.

I've tried ignoring him, but he is very much "in my face" during the encounters I described. Isn't changing the locks illegal?


Senior Member
My response:

You know, you're doing and saying everything against yourself, and the reason why you came here. What do you want anyway?

You know what, get a gun and shoot the bas*ard.

Or, don't do anything, and become a statistic. Film at Eleven.



Under the Radar Member
until you have some type of legal orders, he's free to come and go as he likes. If you don't like that behavior, I'd suggest you file. Or you'll find yourself rapidly losing friends.



You said: "saying everything against yourself"

Please enlighten me: What am I saying "against" myself?? I don't mean that to be sarcastic....... truly I don't. I believe lawyers are very intelligent, knowledgeable resources and I am willing to listen to their advice. That's why I came here. However, you're not be very helpful.



Thanks for your advice stealth2; I appreciate your honesty. It's unfortunate, but apparently the way it will probably continue to be unless I give up on the relationship and file.


It doesn't sound like you really want a divorce, but you can file for a legal separation, so that you can set some boundaries. Fifteen years is a lot of time invested, hopefully you'll be able to work things out.

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