is being vicious a crime?

[wunders]

What is the name of your state?NY

I am not regularly a mean or vengeful person... but before I do anything crazy I want to know if I could get sued.

A woman, who is an ex-girlfriend of my live-in boyfriend of two years, has made unwanted advances on him. She lives in another city, but he has maintained a infrequent, yet casual freindship with her. Perhaps speaking to her once or twice, every other month. I know her, have spoken to her at length, shared lunch and conversations with her. She is married with a young girl.

Recently, she has sent my boyfriend topless pictures of herself, via e-mail and solicited him for sex. I am, of course, beyond furious.

He has deleted the e-mail, but I have a copy.

I know this is nasty and cruel... but I have thought about fowarding this delightful e-mail to her husband, co-workers (she works at a private school as a teacher), and/or her family.

Or... I may just write her and notify her that I have her digustingly disgraceful and horrific pictures, and if she does not back off immediately, THEN I will e-mail these pictures to the aforementioned people.

If I do either of these, can she sue for slander or harrassment, even though the facts are absolutely true? (I mean, it does come complete with documentation.) Other than bad karma, which I may be completely at peace with, can there be any legal ramifications? Is an eye for an eye at this level illegal? I think I can handle being a vengeful bitch. She, as it seems, does not fully understand with whom she is dealing with. She has infringed on my life... may I return the favor?

Please let me know. Thanks.

 

[D.B. Cooper]

Can you offer a link so we can see the email?

 

[MST]

Sending it to her coworkers, or otherwise involving her job in this, might be considered an invasion of privacy. After all she did this outside of work and may have a right to keep her personal life private. I could see a lawyer taking this and running with it if she was determined to persue it. (Some will take anything and run with it)

As far as informing the husband, I'd think it would be his right to know! Although, if it ends their marriage for some reason she would probably feel it was your fault, although I can't imagine how she'd prevail in such a case. The crux of any action would be your perceived malice towards her. However you could argue you thought he "needed to know" what was going on.

So again leaving her job out of it is probably the safest bet in your case.

 

[HomeGuru]

Oh brother, this is a Dr. Phil thread.

 

[gryndor]

Oh brother, this is a Dr. Phil thread.

OH! But it's so juicy!

Let us know what you decide to do, and what the reaction is... please?

 

[You Are Guilty]

Can you offer a link so we can see the email?

Trust me - they're never worth it. Based on past experience, you are setting yourself for some serious disappointment (and possibly some nausea).

 

[okamsrazor]

Legally there is no reason you can not do it. You have the e-mail...and unless she sent a disclaimer with it stating it can not be sent to anyone else...hey go for it. Just be sure you use an annonmous e-mail account and an IP masker to send it. Then if she is ever able to track you down, she still will not be able to sue you succesfully.

 

[gryndor]

Legally there is no reason you can not do it. You have the e-mail...and unless she sent a disclaimer with it stating it can not be sent to anyone else...hey go for it. Just be sure you use an annonmous e-mail account and an IP masker to send it. Then if she is ever able to track you down, she still will not be able to sue you succesfully.

That sounds a bit like hacker's procedure. I'd wait to see if someone with more than 64 posts gives you a yea or nea.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Legally there is no reason you can not do it. You have the e-mail...and unless she sent a disclaimer with it stating it can not be sent to anyone else...hey go for it. Just be sure you use an annonmous e-mail account and an IP masker to send it. Then if she is ever able to track you down, she still will not be able to sue you succesfully.

Wrong. The e-mail was sent to her livein boyfriend, NOT her. As such, regardless of how she got it, the only way she would not encounter legal problems is if HE sent it to her.

Otherwise, it's not hers to resend. He, on the other hand, can send it to whomever he wishes. Even her. At that point it becomes her property to do with as she wishes.

 

[cbg]

Question for the OP:

Do you REALLY want to lower yourself to her level?

 

[wunders]

maybe....

Do I really want to sink to her level? Hmm. It's hard to say. On the one hand, there is a part of me that feels bad for this pathetic, selfish, destructive woman. Her marriage is obviously a sham. I've heard her speak to her kid... and it's really sad. She treats her child as an inconvience, rather than a blessing. I've been on the phone with her and heard her scream at her child: "Get out, get out of the room! You're annoying me. I'm on the phone! God, leave me alone!" The kid is four. Four years old. On the other hand, that is exactly why I think she deserves it. What kind of mother is she? How selfish and disgusting it is to behave this way. If indeed, their marriage is on the rocks and they go through some divorce, which may lead to a custody battle, this is indeed startling evidence that woud endanger her character. How stupid is all this? Risk all that in some pathetic attempt for a one night stand. And, from what I can ascertain from my boyfriend, she has been looking for an affair. Although this is her first, and rather bold move, attempt to start one. In addition, I'm extremely pissed off that she would have to audacity to do so with someone who is committed to someone else. Just because her life sucks, is it fair to try to take mine down with her? I KNOW HER. I HAVE HAD HEART TO HEARTS with this degenerate. The fact that she is not, indeed, following the precept: "Well, I don't know this person, so I can't care about how it would make them feel. It's upon the guy to decide if he wants to screw up their relationship, not me.", took me aback. This was a blatant "I don't give a sh** who this hurts, I'm out to get mine" attitude. She definitely has a face to the heart she is trying to break. Names to the relationship she is trying to destroy. The only thing she may not have known is that I am not a stupid push-over. I WAS NICE to this woman. I was never rude or cold, I was not threatened by her presence. I openly invited her to hang with us. Obviously, she takes kindness as a form of weakness, and decided it was time to move in. Perhaps now, she needs a lesson to learn. And I may be just the one to help her understand.

Now... back to the law. If I e-mail her and tell her that I'll slap the crap out of her if I see here again.... is that harrassment? If I tell her, if she doesn't cease contacting my boyfriend that I will send her slutty photo shoot to her husband... is that blackmailing? I don't want money... I just want her to know who is the boss in this situation and who does have the upper hand. Ang judging from her nasty nipples, I'd say that's me. Bottom line: is threatening to knock the teeth out of this pathetic excuse for a wife/mother gonna get me in trouble? Even though it wasn't sent to me, can I send it to her husband without legal repercussions? She will know, or course, who did it. He is my boyfriend. And, unless she is a bigger slut than even I have given her a crown for, it should be the only copy, lewd photo of herself she has sent via e-mail. The e-mail is sitting in my account, just itching for a brand new home, people.

I'm tired of people thinking kindness equates to stupidity. When, exactly, is it ok to push back? What needs to happen? Her showing up at my apartment in the nude?

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Trust me - they're never worth it. Based on past experience, you are setting yourself for some serious disappointment (and possibly some nausea).

LMAO, still having nightmares?I remember that, and she was so convinced that she was attractive,lol.

 

[john123456]

Umm..this may be a tad obvious, but have you considered having your boyfriend telling her to back off?

 

[wunders]

yeah

He had. He assured me the friendship has been terminated. She's upset... blah, blah, blah. He has told her what she has done was flat out stupid and because of her actions, he can no longer speak with her. I feel, however, its not just about her friendship with him. She made a blatant attack on MY relationship. There are two of us. It affects us both. Perhaps she should have thought of that prior to her e-mail. This would be a not so friendly reminder that I exist and I have feelings that were disrespected and I can/will do something about it.

If a man had made such an aggressive move on me, my boyfriend would pummel the crap outta him. In fact, most men have no problem establishing limits with other males on what is proper conduct with their significant other. A woman is entitled to the same thing, no? Besides, is it not simply, what goes around comes around? All I can say, is she's lucky she's not in the city. If I happen to run into her on the street, the bitch is going down.

Oh, last thing. Does it help or hinder that she used her work e-mail address to send this crap? Or the real issue is that she didn't send it to me? Because she didn't send it to me, I can't send it to her husband? He should know what her breasts look like. It wouldn't be a revelation.

 

[stephenk]

of course your boyfriend is going to say he is disgusted by her email. remember, he was the one maintaining the relationship even though you obviously did not like her or approve of his contact with her (admit it). your boyfriend could have ended the flirting months or years ago. funny that he never changed his email address or blocked her address.

how is it that he deleted it and you found it? did he show you the email before he deleted it?

Remember, he is only your boyfriend. living together doesnt raise the relationship to marriage. he can walk out just as quick as you can.