Is it just about the $$$???

[curious123]

What is the name of your state? NY
I was just thinking about everything that a ncp has to endure in trying to get more visitation/say/anything in their childrens' lives when dealing with an embittered, hostile cp and I am just so filled with despair right now. Forgive me but my faith in the legal system is a little bit flawed right now. I don't know what the future holds, but what I DO know is that it is a very harsh reality that I may, in the near future, only see my kids for the spring and summer vacations, especially if the cp makes a concerted effort to leave. She makes more money than I do and can afford a decent lawyer; does that mean that, because I can't afford a long battle in court, that I have to let my kids go, and we all know how busy pro se lawyers are and how far they go for their clients- I have seen that you get what you pay for. I'm trying to be the bigger person and think, ok better school system, nicer environment than the city...but- I AM NOT GOING TO SEE MY CHILDREN! She already tries to alienate me from them, calls me a sperm donor in their presence, belittles me, etc., you really have no idea how bad it gets- she probably tried the same tactic on her new husband which is why he left. Ok I'm venting now, but I guess my other question would be, under what circumstances will a cp be allowed to move out of the state? What issues can I raise to prevent this from happening? How much of a role does $$ play into it, ie, she bought a new house (just throwing that out there I really don't think so), especially when there's no family or any other influencing feature other than getting my children as far away from me as possible? What about if my wife and I are expecting? Isn't there a need to foster sibling relationships? This is getting long and I have to get ready for work. Looking forward to your responses.What is the name of your state?

 

[TheresaTeee]

Been Through This

How old are the children? In family court if old enough ie...over 10 they are given their own attorney and that attorney speaks with the children regarding the parents concerns. If your ex is doing and saying as you say, they will ask the children this and that is grounds for fighting custody. Also, she does need a good reason to move out of state if you currently have visitiation right or she will have to provide transportation for the children for you to see them at your appointed times.

Her having a lawyer in court is definately to her benefit, but you do not need a lawyer **************....just keep showing up, keep requesting a lawyer and stating you cannot afford one, and when served papers prepare your own answers by going through the papers served one paragraph at a time.

My ex paid a lawyer over 24K and lost because of my diligence, i represented myself, was continously honest, even about my faults. A second time he brought me to court paid over 10K and still lost because I would do as i stated above. and this is in the NYC court system.
Good luck

 

[BL]

You need to post what if any Court Orders are in place now , and if there is a no removal clause from removing them from the State ?

 

[GrowUp!]

In family court if old enough ie...over 10 they are given their own attorney and that attorney speaks with the children regarding the parents concerns.

Whhaaaaaat?! This is not correct.

Also, she does need a good reason to move out of state if you currently have visitiation right or she will have to provide transportation for the children for you to see them at your appointed times.

Whhhaaat?! Again, not correct.

....just keep showing up, keep requesting a lawyer and stating you cannot afford one

Why is this the court's concern and why should they care?!

 

[Ohiogal]

How old are the children? In family court if old enough ie...over 10 they are given their own attorney and that attorney speaks with the children regarding the parents concerns. If your ex is doing and saying as you say, they will ask the children this and that is grounds for fighting custody. Also, she does need a good reason to move out of state if you currently have visitiation right or she will have to provide transportation for the children for you to see them at your appointed times.

Her having a lawyer in court is definately to her benefit, but you do not need a lawyer **************....just keep showing up, keep requesting a lawyer and stating you cannot afford one, and when served papers prepare your own answers by going through the papers served one paragraph at a time.

My ex paid a lawyer over 24K and lost because of my diligence, i represented myself, was continously honest, even about my faults. A second time he brought me to court paid over 10K and still lost because I would do as i stated above. and this is in the NYC court system.
Good luck

Learn the law before you post.

 

[fairisfair]

"New York

When reviewing a custodial parent's request to relocate, the court's primary focus must be on the best interests of the child. The factors to be considered include: each parent's reasons for seeking or opposing the move, the quality of the relationships between the child and the custodial and noncustodial parents, the impact of the move on the quantity and quality of the child's future contact with the noncustodial parent, the degree to which the custodial parent's and child's life may be enhanced economically, emotionally and educationally by the move, and the feasibility of preserving the relationship between the noncustodial parent and child through suitable visitation arrangements. Matter of Tropea v. Tropea, 87 N.Y.2d 727, 739, 642 N.Y.S.2d 575, 665 N.E.2d 145 (1996). The petitioner bears the burden of establishing, by a preponderance of the evidence, that the move is in the child's best interest. Matter of Groover v. Potter, 17 A.D.3d 718, 792 N.Y.S.2d 693 (3 Dep’t 2005). "

Obviously, the burden of proof is on the custodial parent, that does not however, mean that you should not have every bit of evidence contrary to her wish to move ready to present. You do not have to "let" your kids go, you must do everything that is humanly possible to prevent her from taking your children. Start doing some research and compiling your opposing view.

 

[Just Blue]

How old are the children? In family court if old enough ie...over 10 they are given their own attorney and that attorney speaks with the children regarding the parents concerns. If your ex is doing and saying as you say, they will ask the children this and that is grounds for fighting custody. Also, she does need a good reason to move out of state if you currently have visitiation right or she will have to provide transportation for the children for you to see them at your appointed times.

Her having a lawyer in court is definately to her benefit, but you do not need a lawyer **************....just keep showing up, keep requesting a lawyer and stating you cannot afford one, and when served papers prepare your own answers by going through the papers served one paragraph at a time.

My ex paid a lawyer over 24K and lost because of my diligence, i represented myself, was continously honest, even about my faults. A second time he brought me to court paid over 10K and still lost because I would do as i stated above. and this is in the NYC court system.
Good luck

Teresa, Would you post the NEW YORK statutes that back up this "legal" advice??

 

[Just Blue]

Waaaaait for it.....

**************...till hell freezes over**************....

Yeah...I know...I was just trying to make a point...

 

[NYR]

I know that only her buying a house it not a justified reason to move your children out of state. I have been researching NYS relocation cases, as I'm trying to relocate out of NYS with my children (although my situation is much different than yours). She must prove economic, health or emotional betterment for the children. Are there schools in your surrounding area comparable to where she wants to relocate? Has she secured a job out of state of which she could not get in her current area? The courts also look at the parents to determine whether there are any other underlying reasons (like bitterness) besides the best interest of the children for the request; I’ve seen that in many case summaries. Good Luck!

 

[camdenle]

I would agree wth Teresa on this one - depending on the age of the child the courts will factor in their wishes - If nothing was set in stone during the hearings then you may not be able to prevent the move but still are entitled to visits. Teresa remarks about answering the paper work yourself is also very sound advice - unless you like throwing thousands of dollars down the toilet - as long as you can present you own side of the story by offering responses to any filings you are doing all that you can...

 

[camdenle]

Teresa, Would you post the NEW YORK statutes that back up this "legal" advice??

How about the case law fairisfair posted...learn to read.

 

[Silverplum]

How about the case law fairisfair posted...learn to read.

YOU'RE the one who might want to learn to read, O One Of Many Who Does Not Get It...

Perhaps you'd like to explain how it is that "Teresa" is correct and the others are not. In a legal sense, of course. I eagerly await your post.

 

[NYR]

Curious123,

The following link may be helpful as well:

http://www.divorcenet.com/states/new_york/nyart08

 

[fairisfair]

How about the case law fairisfair posted...learn to read.

there is a significant difference in the case law and statutes that fairisfair posted (I should know and the personal diatribe posted by Teresa. While some of her information may be based on factual possiblity, every case is different and general statements such as the ones that she made, may lead the poster to think that it applies to his specific case as well.

PS. Hey, who took off my yawny post?? OMG does that mean I have been . . . . . . .reported?? Forgive me my transgressions M!!!

 

[cepe10]

YOU'RE the one who might want to learn to read, O One Of Many Who Does Not Get It...

Perhaps you'd like to explain how it is that "Teresa" is correct and the others are not. In a legal sense, of course. I eagerly await your post.

If you are actually capable (doubt it) Go ahead and post the authority you are basing your rebuttal on...case law, statutes, cs guidelines we will all be waiting for something more that your vague allegations and baseless nitpicking