A lot depends on the court procedure in your area, but I believe that you would usually file and claim your exemptions after a judgment is rendered, and there's a time limit for you to do so. Here in TN, you have 10 days from the time the judgment is renedered to file your exmeptions with the court. The thing to do is call the court clerk and ask for the form you need to claim your exemptions. That's another reason why its important to go to court, so you know EXACTLY what's happening and when and you don't miss any critical dates. The Sherriff won't just show up at your house and start taking your things - they KNOW what's normally exempt, but you still have to claim your exemptions.
Another reason to go to court would be that you would likely be instructed by the judge, prior to going before him/her, to go into a room and work out a settlement with the suing attorney. If you can't reach a settlement either for a lump sum or payments, then it goes before the judge.
As for listing anything that might 'help' them, they're going to get that info anyway either thru sending you interrogatories that you MUST answer or possibly be found in contempt of court - OR, they'll summon you to court for a 'debtor's examination' and you'll STILL have to answer all their questions about your income, bank accounts, assets, expenses, etc. So, in the end, there's no way around them finding out just what your financial situation is.
If you don't respond to the Summons and go to court, they win by default and you cold possibly lose things you would normally be able to protect and keep.