Is this considered sexual harassment ?

[Ford4502000]

I'm in KY

I’m male in my early 50’s that recently has started a new job and after 2 months i have a middle aged female boss that keeps putting her hands on me.
So far she has had her hand on the middle of my back rubbing me straight up and down the middle of my back while we were talking one day when i first started the job, after that 5 other things have happened that include, Coming up from behind me at work and putting both her hands around my neck for making a data entry mistake, Coming up from behind me and patting me on the back as she walked by me while i was working, Coming up from behind me and bumping her hand on my thigh to talk to me, She even slapped me one day for making a mistake and has also asked me to dance with her at work and she is just real flirty with me but, I don’t want to say the wrong thing and lose my job.
I know, I’m the guy and i should probably ignore it but, I really like my job and don’t know how to go about stopping her physical actions towards me.
I’m very confused over why she started doing this and i have not laid a finger on her.

 

[quincy]

I'm in KY

I’m male in my early 50’s that recently has started a new job and after 2 months i have a middle aged female boss that keeps putting her hands on me.
So far she has had her hand on the middle of my back rubbing me straight up and down the middle of my back while we were talking one day when i first started the job, after that 5 other things have happened that include, Coming up from behind me at work and putting both her hands around my neck for making a data entry mistake, Coming up from behind me and patting me on the back as she walked by me while i was working, Coming up from behind me and bumping her hand on my thigh to talk to me, She even slapped me one day for making a mistake and has also asked me to dance with her at work and she is just real flirty with me but, I don’t want to say the wrong thing and lose my job.
I know, I’m the guy and i should probably ignore it but, I really like my job and don’t know how to go about stopping her physical actions towards me.
I’m very confused over why she started doing this and i have not laid a finger on her.

Have you told your boss her actions are making you uncomfortable? Have you told her to stop?

If you have and she has continued with the unwanted contact, you should inform HR that your boss is making you uncomfortable with her touching. Your employer needs the opportunity to remedy the situation (whatever that remedy might be).

Those are the first steps you must take before considering filing a complaint for sexual harassment.

 

[Just Blue]

I'm in KY

I’m male in my early 50’s that recently has started a new job and after 2 months i have a middle aged female boss that keeps putting her hands on me.
So far she has had her hand on the middle of my back rubbing me straight up and down the middle of my back while we were talking one day when i first started the job, after that 5 other things have happened that include, Coming up from behind me at work and putting both her hands around my neck for making a data entry mistake, Coming up from behind me and patting me on the back as she walked by me while i was working, Coming up from behind me and bumping her hand on my thigh to talk to me, She even slapped me one day for making a mistake and has also asked me to dance with her at work and she is just real flirty with me but, I don’t want to say the wrong thing and lose my job.
I know, I’m the guy and i should probably ignore it but, I really like my job and don’t know how to go about stopping her physical actions towards me.
I’m very confused over why she started doing this and i have not laid a finger on her.

Go to HR and make a complaint. Her behavior is inappropriate.

 

[Ford4502000]

I have not done anything yet, I feel like i might be walking into a minefield if i do say something and lose my job, she's been a supervisor for 23 years.
I'm going to have to really think rationally on what to do, this is two peoples livelihoods that she is messing with.

 

[quincy]

I have not done anything yet, I feel like i might be walking into a minefield if i do say something and lose my job, she's been a supervisor for 23 years.
I'm going to have to really think rationally on what to do, this is two peoples livelihoods that she is messing with.

Whether to say anything is a decision you will have to make - but your employer cannot take adverse action against you for reporting what you believe is sexual harassment.

 

[Ford4502000]

Whether to say anything is a decision you will have to make - but your employer cannot take adverse action against you for reporting what you believe is sexual harassment.

I hate to bother you all again but, I just couldn't go through all B.S. just to keep my job over this, i called it quits this week, it was just too much to deal with and staying there to try and work everyday would've probably been even worse if i had reported it, i just think all the stuff that happened in only 2 months there was over the top to have to deal with and i am sure more stuff might have happened the longer i stayed, if i would've done that to her i probably would've already been in jail being a male.
I loved the job but, either way, too much drama.

 

[Ford4502000]

Thanks everyone .

 

[Just Blue]

I hate to bother you all again but, I just couldn't go through all B.S. just to keep my job over this, i called it quits this week, it was just too much to deal with and staying there to try and work everyday would've probably been even worse if i had reported it, i just think all the stuff that happened in only 2 months there was over the top to have to deal with and i am sure more stuff might have happened the longer i stayed, if i would've done that to her i probably would've already been in jail being a male.
I loved the job but, either way, too much drama.

I will say to you what I would say to a woman in the same position...It's too bad you didn't report her behavior, because now she will continue on like this with the next guy.

As you quit anyway perhaps you can tell HR why you quit...at least that way they can stop it from reoccurring.


I do wish you luck at your next job...Stay safe, Ford.

 

[quincy]

I hate to bother you all again but, I just couldn't go through all B.S. just to keep my job over this, i called it quits this week, it was just too much to deal with and staying there to try and work everyday would've probably been even worse if i had reported it, i just think all the stuff that happened in only 2 months there was over the top to have to deal with and i am sure more stuff might have happened the longer i stayed, if i would've done that to her i probably would've already been in jail being a male.
I loved the job but, either way, too much drama.

Thanks everyone .

Thank you for returning to the forum to provide us with an update. I imagine your stress level has dropped significantly since you decided to quit the job.

As Just Blue said, you still have the option of reporting your former supervisor to the company’s HR department. If the supervisor has worked for the company for 23 years, it is possible that a report will change nothing - but a report at least creates a company record that might be helpful to another employee in the future.

We appreciate the thanks, Ford4502000, so thank you. Good luck.

 

[cbg]

I too am sorry that you didn't report her. While you still can, had you done so before you quit and nothing changed, you would have had a strong basis for an EEOC complaint. By not giving the company the opportunity to take action, you have drastically undercut any complaint you might have made.

 

[Ford4502000]

I too am sorry that you didn't report her. While you still can, had you done so before you quit and nothing changed, you would have had a strong basis for an EEOC complaint. By not giving the company the opportunity to take action, you have drastically undercut any complaint you might have made.

Thanks, If i would have worked there for about a year or longer, I probably would not of been upset but, after only two months there and basically still being strangers to each other, it was just too much and too fast to be dealing with this at a new job i really liked, i didn't want to quit but, i can't see ruining her livelihood over it.

 

[Shadowbunny]

....i can't see ruining her livelihood over it.

SHE would be ruining her livelihood by her actions. It would not have been your fault had she been fired.

 

[quincy]

Thanks, If i would have worked there for about a year or longer, I probably would not of been upset but, after only two months there and basically still being strangers to each other, it was just too much and too fast to be dealing with this at a new job i really liked, i didn't want to quit but, i can't see ruining her livelihood over it.

I can appreciate your final decision, Ford.

Complaining about your supervisor to your supervisor, or to HR, after only two months on the job, would not be easy for anyone to do and could easily complicate your life, not only in the workplace but potentially in future workplaces. I think many employees choose the same route you took.

I wish you good luck, and good supervisors/employers, in your next job.

 

[aldaron]

Most guys would love to have your problem.

 

[Just Blue]

Most guys would love to have your problem.

Really? To have someone they work for make unwanted advances?