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Is This Criminal Harassment?

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Reginaxox

Member
I am in KY

My partner cheated on me for a long time. It took forever for the other partner to just leave my beau alone.

Now, my partner gets phone calls from companies about free tuition and we got a lingerie catalogue. This caused a huge argument between us because I know they were not shopping for me there and so obviously this other person had it sent to out house. Two catalogues, actually.

Now we get religious brochures.

They come in my partner's name but we asked one company if they had an e mail and they told us the email used to sign up and it was not even real.

Thing is, I gave them our address once when I was mad and wanted them to send me proof of the affair. So I know I can't say they found it some other way. What should I do? I can't prove it's them. Is this even illegal? I'm pretty sure I know who is having this junk mail sent.

Also, the thing is they live about 200 miles away now and I was told they keep going in and out if inpatient psych hospitals for attempting suicide. Apparently the suicide is not related to the breakup as they were suicidal when they met.

So my worry is, if we even respond or make a stink this person might just lose it and actually do more than send us biblical publications all the time.
 
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xylene

Senior Member
I suggest you either learn to forgive your "beau" for the fallout of his cheating or leave him.
 

Reginaxox

Member
I suggest you either learn to forgive your "beau" for the fallout of his cheating or leave him.
We are in counseling so we are trying.

But it's like this person is keeping themselves fresh in our and my head by doing this. And so isn't that harassment?

I mean, I can't just sign someone up for Publishers Clearinghouse and free pool brochures, etc if I am doing it for malice.
 

cbg

I'm a Northern Girl
You do know that names and addresses are sold by catalog and other retailers, right? No one has to have signed you up for these; if you get any catalogs or email ads at all, you'll have a very hard time proving it didn't come from one of them.
 

commentator

Senior Member
Quote: "this person is keeping themselves fresh in our mind and my head by doing this."

Okay you need to work a little more with the counselor on this. Because no one keeps themselves in your head without your permission. You decide whether you are going to have trust in your partner or not. If you are getting worked up by junk mail, you would be absolutely impossible to live with due to your obsessions and suspicions. And you'll drive the other person away and you'll drive yourself crazy because of what YOU CHOOSE to let rent space inside your own head.
 

Eekamouse

Senior Member
The things being done to upset you are pretty mild. The next time he cheats on you (and there will be a next time. Count on that), the other woman could turn out to be a real psycho so count your blessings.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
That site requires that either one's adblocker be turned off or that one purchase a subscription.
 

quincy

Senior Member
That site requires that either one's adblocker be turned off or that one purchase a subscription.
Oh. Then it's probably not all that helpful. :)

I'll delete it and just say that there are ways to block junk mail.

Google "how to stop junk mail." The Washington Post has a good article titled, "How to stop junk mail and save trees - and save your sanity" but there are many other sources with similar information.
 
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Reginaxox

Member
Can't we get the IP address of this person?

Every time I bring it up my husband gets mad and says it would be hard. He is a police officer so I wonder if he's lying to cover her or if he can get a judge or someone he knows to find out???

This is something not related to the mail. A person who I know who works with the court said she heard this woman's family met with a lawyer out of the area and gave them texts my husband sent. The messages supposedly told her she should die, get assaulted in other ways, and hit on some child abuse she suffered and a lot of other things he should not have said. Idk why he did that he knows better but he said she was threatening to tell me they were seeing one another again if he didn't apologize. And I asked him why he just wouldn't say he was sorry and he said he'd never say he was sorry to anyone. She's told her family, paychiatric doctor and her lawyer has her text messages. If something were to happen to her (like taking her own life) it'd be his fault for triggering PTSD she has, she supposedly claims. And her family intends if she does hurt herself, to come after my husband as being culpable. So, I don't really know what to think.

I'd like to think he won't cheat. It scares me that she's having to be put in psych wards since she could be "crazy".
 
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quincy

Senior Member
Can't we get the IP address of this person?

Every time I bring it up my husband gets mad and says it would be hard. He is a police officer so I wonder if he's lying to cover her or if he can get a judge or someone he knows to find out???
I agree with your husband. You do not appear to have enough to support a subpoena.

And, given what you have described, I am really not even sure who would subpoena or what good an IP address will do.
 

Reginaxox

Member
I agree with your husband. You do not appear to have enough to support a subpoena.

And, given what you have described, I am really not even sure who would subpoena or what good an IP address will do.
Victoria's Secret can't be subpoenaed to see who signed him up for a catalogue?
 

cbg

I'm a Northern Girl
No. Victoria's Secret cannot be subpoenaed to see who, if anyone, signed him up for a catalog.

For one thing, it's highly unlikely that Vicky's Secret has retained that information. If indeed any specific person did so and the address was not passed to them by some other method. But once the address hit their data base, how that address got to them would have long since been discarded. I doubt if they would even be able to tell where it came from.

For another, a subpoena would not be issued on the basis that you are being annoyed. In the absence of actual damages as the law reads damages, which you do not have, you not only would not be able to get a subpoena, but you might well be chastised for wasting the court's time.
 

quincy

Senior Member
Victoria's Secret can't be subpoenaed to see who signed him up for a catalogue?
I recommend you stop junk mail and catalogs from coming to your home.

Then you should take a long hard look at your relationship.

You have no legal action to pursue against anyone, based on what you have stated so far.
 
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