Joint custody in North Carolina

[olegkap]

What is the name of your state? North Carolina

Hi all,

We are in process of getting separated. We not married, have one child together, 7 month old girl, and still living together.

She wants full or sole custody and I want joint.
We try to settle everything in mediation but lately she started to make different threats regarding how it all will be, meaning that she will get sole custody.

Mediator mention something that in North Carolina its common to give sole custody to the mother and I should agree with that .

I read somewhere that by law court must consider joint custody if requested by one of the parents.

I have no criminal records and not a violent person, I spend as much time as I can with my daughter now and doing all the thing that her mother does, feeding, changing dieprs etc'

My questions are:
How common in NC to get joint custody?
If we eventually go to court how much can it cost?
How can I find a good lawyer who had experience with getting joint custody in North Carolina?

Thanks,
Oleg

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Have you established paternity of the child?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? North Carolina

Hi all,

We are in process of getting separated. We not married, have one child together, 7 month old girl, and still living together.

She wants full or sole custody and I want joint.
We try to settle everything in mediation but lately she started to make different threats regarding how it all will be, meaning that she will get sole custody.

Mediator mention something that in North Carolina its common to give sole custody to the mother and I should agree with that .

I read somewhere that by law court must consider joint custody if requested by one of the parents.

I have no criminal records and not a violent person, I spend as much time as I can with my daughter now and doing all the thing that her mother does, feeding, changing dieprs etc'

My questions are:
How common in NC to get joint custody?
If we eventually go to court how much can it cost?
How can I find a good lawyer who had experience with getting joint custody in North Carolina?

Thanks,
Oleg

What are you meaning when you say "joint custody"? Are you asking for joint legal custody (joint decision making rights)?, or joint custody but not necessarily a 50/50 timeshare?, or are you asking for a 50/50 timeshare?

I suspect that you are asking for a 50/50 timeshare and the mediator is telling you that its unlikely in your area. That may very well be true.

 

[olegkap]

Well,

Child is mine, look like me and I know its mine.
I am on birth certificate as well.

Oleg

 

[olegkap]

I actually talking about both 50/50 timeshare and also joint decisions about child's life

Oleg

 

[ceara19]

I actually talking about both 50/50 timeshare and also joint decisions about child's life

Oleg

If the child was born in North Carolina and you are on the birth certificate, then you are the legal father (in NC, the father name is only listed on the BC if the AOP is signed when the parents aren't married). Joint LEGAL is fairly standard across the country. However a 50/50 time share will only work if BOTH parents are extremely dedicated to MAKING it work and live close enough to one another to make it possible.

 

[Grace_Adler]

Whoever told you that NC usually gives the mother primary or sole custody is correct. For some reason, in NC, it is not common to give joint custody.. not on decisions or timeshare. I think that they feel that it would be too much conflict between parents and 50/50 timeshare is too much on the kids running back and forth between homes. At least, that's been my observation/experience. And NC is pro-mother in most cases. So, I wouldn't hold my breath on getting 50/50. Maybe you'll get lucky, but prepared for a fight.

I'm not aware of any law that says they have to consider 50/50 if one parent asks for it, but just because I don't know about it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.. I've just never seen it or heard of it.

If you can't agree in mediation, then the judge will decide. That could be a good or bad thing but I think that judges do like to give at least, standard visitation. So that would probably be the worst scenario. But that's just my opinion. But go for as much time as you can.

Ok, you also asked how much it cost to hire an attorney for this. Anywhere from $2k on up. Maybe you'll get lucky and find someone who will do it for cheaper but that seems to be the going rate to start with.

How to find an attorney- call every family law attorney in the phone book or go to the Clerk of Court/Courthouse and ask them who the biggest, baddest family law attorney is around. Just prepare to pay a pretty penny for them.

If you want a consultation with one for under $35 then call the Bar Referral. If there is a family law attorney listed with them in your area, they will refer you to them. The no. is 1-800-662-7660

One more thing.. make sure that the order is very specific on every point.. don't go for "liberal visitation" or "at the discretion of the custodial parent" or whatever. Make sure it specifies points about what you are to be contacted about.. medical, school, etc.. and make sure date, times of pick up and drop offs are in there, what days you have, birthdays, holidays, summers, weekends, pick up points and drop offs, method and cost of travel, phone calls, communicating thru mail, make up times for missed visitation, etc.. I mean.. every little thing you can think of. That eliminates future problems and the need to keep running back to court, spending money to have things modified.

Good luck!

**Sorry, I forgot to add.. if she violates the order, document everything and when you have enough to use in court, take her to court for contempt. The more she does it, if she does it, will be grounds to have custody reversed.

 

[proudmommy19]

Joint Custody

I just had a court case where the father took me to court for Joint Custody 50/50. This will take place next year. I think his reason was so he doesnt have to pay me Child Support because he will have her 50% of the time. Just like I will have her 50% of the time. So to answer the question about does NC award Joint Custody? Yes they do and they are leaning towards it more now than ever. I have no criminal record and I have been with my child since her birth. However, this year the father had visitation awarded for every other week but now that our child is 1 going on 2 the court decided that is was fair for him to have equal time. I agree its the fair thing to do. So if there are any fathers out there who want to be with there child just as much as the mother does. Go to court and fight for your equal rights.
Best,
Proud Mommy

 

[Ohiogal]

I just had a court case where the father took me to court for Joint Custody 50/50. This will take place next year. I think his reason was so he doesnt have to pay me Child Support because he will have her 50% of the time. Just like I will have her 50% of the time. So to answer the question about does NC award Joint Custody? Yes they do and they are leaning towards it more now than ever. I have no criminal record and I have been with my child since her birth. However, this year the father had visitation awarded for every other week but now that our child is 1 going on 2 the court decided that is was fair for him to have equal time. I agree its the fair thing to do. So if there are any fathers out there who want to be with there child just as much as the mother does. Go to court and fight for your equal rights.
Best,
Proud Mommy

This post is over a year old .. please start your own thread.