Joint legal custody question

[suppermom57]

What is the name of your state? Wisconsin

I have joint legal custody with ex having placement. We have been divorced for 12 years now and have had communication problems since day one. I'm not informed of ANYTHING in my children's lives when they are with him. I've dealt with this for this many years because I don't want to live my life in court, but I've now had it!!! I just found out from my daughter that my son was arrested for shoplifting way back in the summer and went to court and is doing community service. My ex STILL hasn't informed me of any of this. Would this be considered contempt of court??

 

[seniorjudge]

What is the name of your state? Wisconsin

I have joint legal custody with ex having placement. We have been divorced for 12 years now and have had communication problems since day one. I'm not informed of ANYTHING in my children's lives when they are with him. I've dealt with this for this many years because I don't want to live my life in court, but I've now had it!!! I just found out from my daughter that my son was arrested for shoplifting way back in the summer and went to court and is doing community service. My ex STILL hasn't informed me of any of this. Would this be considered contempt of court??

Your son is obviously older than 12 years; you need to be talking to HIM.

 

[suppermom57]

Yes, he is 14 years old. So, your saying my ex has no responsibility of communicating these things to me?

 

[seniorjudge]

Yes, he is 14 years old. So, your saying my ex has no responsibility of communicating these things to me?

I said no such thing.....

 

[suppermom57]

Ok...that was the way I was understanding you. Yes, I have spoke a little with him. I'm in the process of getting all documentation from the courts. My question is whether or not my ex is in contempt with our order for the noncommunication and what really would be done about it?

 

[suppermom57]

Our court order as what is specified for "joint legal custody".

 

[pypercat]

Joint Custody

I'm in a similar situation. While it is his responsibility, the only way it would be contempt is if he had been ordered to communicate those things with you. He does not HAVE to. Your son is crying out for help - you need do whatever you can (counselling, etc) to help him. I know you are angry with the ex - but for your son's sake, please focus on his needs, not your irritation with your ex.
Good luck!

 

[suppermom57]

Thanks for you help. We have a parenting agreement and it does state about the communication on my ex's part. I will have to pull that out and see exactly what it states. This has been a trying time for me right now....I guess my daughter who is 15 and my son have also been sneaking out of my ex's house at night and I have just recently found out about that, also. I am just at my wit's end.

 

[seniorjudge]

Ok...that was the way I was understanding you. Yes, I have spoke a little with him. I'm in the process of getting all documentation from the courts. My question is whether or not my ex is in contempt with our order for the noncommunication and what really would be done about it?

Okay, if you were in my court and you wanted to hold your ex in contempt because ex didn't tell you something the 14 year old did, I would say, "What is wrong with you that you cannot talk to your own kid and find out what is going on in his/her life!?"

I doubt that the judgment in your lawsuit is specific enough for you to try to file a contempt motion based on these facts.

 

[Whyte Noise]

Okay, if you were in my court and you wanted to hold your ex in contempt because ex didn't tell you something the 14 year old did, I would say, "What is wrong with you that you cannot talk to your own kid and find out what is going on in his/her life!?"

I doubt that the judgment in your lawsuit is specific enough for you to try to file a contempt motion based on these facts.

And you don't think that her child getting arrested, going to court, and getting convicted and sentenced to community service is something that someone with joint legal custody should know about from the other parent?

As someone with joint legal, if this were one of my children that were arrested and my ex didn't inform me, you can bet that I'd be wanting to know why. If it were a repeated pattern of not telling me of anything to do with my children (medical issues, school issues, etc.) you can bet that a contempt filing would be forthcoming. And I'm not one to run willy-nilly into a courtroom over every little thing. In 5 years we've had 2 court proceedings... the actual divorce and a stipulated custody modification.

 

[tigger22472]

While in once sense I agree that little would be done as far as contempt. I also think it unreasonable to expect this kid to just come out and tell his mom of his actions even if he is 14. I mean Come On! I have a 12 yr old who got an in school suspension for tardies and the school couldn't figure out why the note they gave HIM didn't come back signed... and I LIVE full time with this child!

 

[seniorjudge]

...And you don't think that her child getting arrested, going to court, and getting convicted and sentenced to community service is something that someone with joint legal custody should know about from the other parent?...

And where, pray tell, did you find something like that in any of my posts on this thread?

 

[HomeGuru]

I'm hungry. where's our dinner suppermom?

 

[pit469]

i understand comm issues, but do you ask ex how its going?

 

[Whyte Noise]

And where, pray tell, did you find something like that in any of my posts on this thread?

Where you said, "Okay, if you were in my court and you wanted to hold your ex in contempt because ex didn't tell you something the 14 year old did, I would say, "What is wrong with you that you cannot talk to your own kid and find out what is going on in his/her life!?" "

So, if she wanted to hold him in contempt for not telling her about the 14 YO's arrest, conviction, and sentence you'd ask her what was wrong with HER?