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TinkerBelleLuvr

Senior Member
Legal question...need to toss around some ideas, if anyone has any:

Dad will be working, now, Monday-Friday nights, so the over night visit will have to be changed and now he wants every weekend.

Custody split, as of right now, is 90 (me) and 10 (Dad) and not sure GAL will recommend any more than that and obviously, I'm not, at least not until (if) some things change for the good of kiddo.

What is a fair proposal? Right now it's a 29 hour period over a weeknight and one weekend day for 6 hours.

Reverse it to put the over night over the weekend and then one week day for the short visit? We aren't talking required schooling age for a couple of years, still, so that's a moot point for now.
Do you work Monday thru Friday and your days off are the weekend? If so, the judge won't order that all down time be given to the other parent. What if he gets Sunday nights thru Monday to save on daycare on Mondays? Just a thought.
 

CJane

Senior Member
I don't think it's entirely unreasonable to tell him that if he wants visitation changed, he can file for a change. I wouldn't sit down and agree to ANYTHING with him.
 

breezymom

Member
I haven't heard anything from CPS, so I'm guessing that went nowhere, but it's documented. I made sure I took a photo before and after this week so he couldn't pull the same thing. I sent both photos to the GAL, along with his reservations about Head Start (he was "surprised to see how many kids at head start had disabilities and mental health problems). I'm not sure if he thinks she will catch something or not. I just told him that I don't see what difference that makes, since one will find that anywhere and she will be with the same children once she hits normal school age. The bruise from three weeks ago had faded into nearly nothing and she came home with another one yesterday.

I'm still not sure about Head Start. They haven't called/sent mail to say whether or not kiddo's been accepted.

As far as my own job, right now I don't work Monday through Friday. I work half time: because of his schedule, I have to work 3.5 days one week and 1.5 the next to be available to pick up kiddo from him since we cannot do the daycare. Soon, however, I just may be working Monday through Friday.

I will see what occurs Friday. Hopefully we can get into the courtroom and hash this out, too. I'm not too worried, right now, since the place he says he is working isn't even close to looking like it's re-opened, yet (it's been closed for years and they don't have their license, yet).

But, yeah, especially once she starts school, whether I'm working 5 days or not, that still leaves it that I don't see her for only about 15 waking hours a week if he takes every weekend with overnights, especially. He also wants her when I'm working.

Kiddo said to me before bed last night, "Momma, I don't *want* to live at Daddy's all the time. I wanna live with you." So I told her that is nothing SHE needs to worry about. That's between Mommy and Daddy, and asked her what brought that up, to which she replied, "Daddy."
 

breezymom

Member
Update

Well, my nerves were shot, but here's how it went:

No decision for two months.

Closing arguments of GAL and my lawyer centered on why a mental health evaluation should be done, and moreso, on why Joint Legal is not best for the child in this case.

GAL stated I have done an exemplary job not only doing what's been best for her but also trying communicate with him and trying to include him. Somewhere in there, Dad muttered, quite audibly, "Discrimination!" which made no one happy.

My lawyer's closing argument was very similar.

Dad's closing argument was all about the murder cases...sorry cold cases he calls them now and says they are not murder cases...in the county where the child is not allowed to go, per court order.

Dad exploded during the GAL's cross examine of his mother, and not only continued on his rampage interrupting that, but also hollering right over the judge, who in turn, hollered back at him basically telling him straight out that he had been giving Dad insurmountable amounts of slack since he was representing himself, and that HE, the judge, would decide whether an objection were allowable or not, NOT Dad, who just kept hollering OBJECTION, OBJECTION, OBJECTION.

Dad got told, again, not to testify while questioning.

So, all in all not sure how it went, but we will see some time in October, I suppose.
 

breezymom

Member
Does anyone know what to fill out if he wants to change visitation because he actually finally supposedly, at least, found employment? This is based on an earlier question I posted up on this thread. When the time comes when he's actually working, what do I fill out and have him sign so that we can submit it to the court so there's no, "I didn't say/do that/agree to that?" So that it's formal.
 

nanu156

Member
Does anyone know what to fill out if he wants to change visitation because he actually finally supposedly, at least, found employment? This is based on an earlier question I posted up on this thread. When the time comes when he's actually working, what do I fill out and have him sign so that we can submit it to the court so there's no, "I didn't say/do that/agree to that?" So that it's formal.
I believe you file a motion to modify visitation

General Form GF-40 (Petition for Modification of Order of Custody or Visitation –Family or Supreme Court)

Check the box that says that the parties agree to the modification, then he gets notice and files an answer with the court that he is in agreement.

http://www.nycourts.gov/forms/familycourt/pdfs/gf-40.pdf

Or you modify it through settlement at your hearing in October, as i imagine that there will be some changes to our court order at that time, they can ammend the visitation provisions in that modification.
 

BL

Senior Member
The court said ,no decision for two months.

Means everything will stay the same until then.
 

nanu156

Member
if the parties agree in settlement then they could modify as soon as they filed their settlement agreement with the court correct?

or has the involvement of the GAL modified those rights?
 

breezymom

Member
I guess, then, since he did not bring it up today, he won't be having his overnight visitation? He is working soon Monday through Friday nights...I am guessing until close, which is after 1 am. So when he starts with the whole bit, yet again, that I am denying him his child I just say the court order specifies the times we have?

He says he went to the court and they told him we had to work it out between us. Now whether or not he did is another story.
 

nanu156

Member
I doubt given the level of conflict the court told him you guys had to work it out as in an amendment to the order.

They may have told him that "any deviation from the order would have to be worked out between the two of you" which is now, and will always be true. You are not required to deviate from the parenting plan that is ordered, if you do that is your choice.

I mean i wasn't there... but Im guessing thats how he got from one thought to another...
 

BL

Senior Member
I guess, then, since he did not bring it up today, he won't be having his overnight visitation? He is working soon Monday through Friday nights...I am guessing until close, which is after 1 am. So when he starts with the whole bit, yet again, that I am denying him his child I just say the court order specifies the times we have?

He says he went to the court and they told him we had to work it out between us. Now whether or not he did is another story.
You wait for the decision from the court.

The court did not order any temporary changes,so the current order stands until changed.

If he rants ,tell him he is free to file a modification in the meantime.
 

breezymom

Member
You wait for the decision from the court.

The court did not order any temporary changes,so the current order stands until changed.

If he rants ,tell him he is free to file a modification in the meantime.
Sounds good to me.
 

gr8rn

Senior Member
Did the judge give a reason for the extension? Did he order anything? What about the psych eval?

One would think that given Dads outbursts, that the judge would at least order that the psych eval be done before next hearing..
 

breezymom

Member
Did the judge give a reason for the extension? Did he order anything? What about the psych eval?

One would think that given Dads outbursts, that the judge would at least order that the psych eval be done before next hearing..
The hearing is done. He said he couldn't make a ruling without going over everything (this trial has gone on since last October).

Nothing was ordered as of yet.

Dad is already making veiled victory posts on his page so I just closed that for the night.
 
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