Legally Married?

[Theresalee]

Me Again!!!!

CAlifornia.....
I have the divorce decree coming in the mail (I hope they hurry) and I talked to the court here which is about 11 hours from San Diego and asked about getting the paper work for the nunc pro tunc, she was very helpful and even told me a little how to fill it out.. The problem is no legal aide.. anyway the paper work is at the front desk waitinng for me to pick it up and I hope to get it today.. I told my husband I was getting the paper work for this here and he got kinda nasty saying the paper work will be different then San Diego and how am I suppose to do it from here? I told him I would fill it out here but file it were it originally took place which he knows, but he doesn't think I can? I don't think he wants me to do this? Can he stop this? and is the paper work from here going to be different to the point i can't file in San Diego? We are having problems but a divorce isn't in the works yet or hasn't been brought up to him yet. Either way the paper work needs to be fixed.. Thanks Theresa

 

[seniorjudge]

We are having problems but a divorce isn't in the works yet or hasn't been brought up to him yet.

Are there any third parties involved in your relationship?

 

[Theresalee]

What do you mean third parties? As in an affair?
Not on my end NO... On his maybe? Along with some other embarressing stuff that I am to embarressed to say!!!! Lets just say there could be hundreds of other parties....
I can go to a para
legal? B/C after looking at this nunc pro tunc I may need the help...
after my husbands and my yelling match he says we can get a annulment? I told him not if we are NOT married!!!!!!!!! This is a big problem and i wish the paperwork would get here...as in my divorce decree.. It appears I can file and fill out the forms on line, this is good.. Any reason I shouldn't? I just fill them out and print them, they say it will be soon that you can file over the internet too which i had no idea, I'm sure you guys already know..?.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Calmdown and breathe,
You will have to wait until you get the copy of the decree. Then you can use the forms you got from the court in San Diego and the declaraiton based on the facts and then file by USPS back to the original county of the divorce. Take it to the court in San Diego Family law facilitator's office to review for form and completeness and then file in the original county. Keep us updated.

 

[seniorjudge]

What do you mean third parties? As in an affair?
Not on my end NO... On his maybe?

I believe I have discovered the source of your problem....

 

[Theresalee]

It seems that way dooesn't it?....
O.K the part I have been holding back is.. urgg this is hard... he was caught by me talking to another woman in chat and sending back and forth sexual content etc.. I pretended to be him and chated with her and got what i needed to prove the extent of what was happening.. This bothered me for a long time.. but i really believed it had stopped.. well with her it may have but he has been and appears to be addicted to porn and lets say not interested in me much... I have found hundreds of pictures of woman and he orders porn while away.. I am not a prude and said I would help him in any way but he denies it over and over. Somedays i just let it go for months at a time and we get along o.k except the interest part. Then all of a sudden i find something.. Funny i have looked for things before but when I did find the pictures and e-mails it was when i wasn't even looking?
In other words we have a sexles marriage pretty much... when i say pretty much I mean 1 time in 3 month... I hate to get this into it but I didn't want to be deseptive over embaressment. but no one knows who I am anyway so I guess it's o.k? So now you know, but i also knew that even though i can tell them this it has nothing to do with the disolution part except irreconsiliable sp?differences... Hope no one says anything mean about this cause it was hard enough to come clean as is......

 

[Theresalee]

I just read the post by met4... So I think I may have misunderstood someone?
I thought someone here said i can get the nunc pro tunc papers from here, fill them out then send them to San Diego after I get the decree from San Diego? When I talked to a person from San Diego I mentioned this to her but she said i can't give out advice and she never heard of the nunc pro tunc and i did say it right. LOL So should I now call them back and try to get them to send me the nunc pro tunc paper work?
excuse me if i sound desperate but my husband or at least the man i have been with for 20 years and i had a big blow up yesterday before i left to pick up the paper work and he did say something about divorce and asked if i wanted one, I told him I was trying to protect myself from getting in trouble and that is my main concern at this point. But he still knows I am even contemplating divorce... he says he does not want one and denies everything LOL!!!!! god i hate LIARS!!!! please let me know if i should call the courts and get there paper work.. Thanks

 

[Theresalee]

FYI- Another option I could do is, I have family in San Diego can i get her to do any of this? Like pick up the paper work, maybe deliver and file for me after they are filled out or should i do that still by USPP.... sorry for all the posts together but I only have limited time on this when he is not here....

 

[seniorjudge]

Q: Another option I could do is, I have family in San Diego can i get her to do any of this? Like pick up the paper work, maybe deliver and file for me after they are filled out or should i do that still by USPP?

A: You should ask your family in San Diego these questions. You could also ask the court people these questions. What you are asking for are public documents so anyone should be able to pick them up for you. When you talk to the court people, get the first name of whoever it is and his phone number so when your family member goes to the courthouse, he can ask for whoever by name.

Bureaucrats are thick headed and have to be led by the hand.

 

[Theresalee]

Just wanted to say Thank you!! All the help here is something even a free consultation can't provide in some cases... I do have a question for someone else who can't take the chance that this is seen on his computer at home so I will ask for him but in another section about alimony.... Thanks for the help and i will let you know how things turn out or if I hit a bump again.. Thank you all very much!!!

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Since you never made it clear which county for what, now I am confused.

Have you received a copy of the divorce decree yet?

When you do, call the FAMILY LAW FACILITATIOR'S OFFICE not the Court Clerk's office.

The court clerk can't give you advice, they can assist you in filling out the forms if you are unable under CA rule 989.3, HOWEVER the FAMILY LAW FACILITATOR'S office can assist you and give you legal advice.

Call the FAMILY LAW FACILITATOR'S office in your county and have them help you complete the forms, then mail them to the county where the divorce decree came from, don't file any divorce papers until you get this settled.

Invest in a Vibrator, it will be more reliable than your husband who most likely is suffering from typical middle age related slump in libido and prostate function, hense the interest in porn and internet sex. Be suspitious of internet cams and spare keyboards.

 

[Theresalee]

Damn I knew i shouldn't have said anything!!!! But i was asked a question and wanted to answer honestly, also there very well could be prostitutes involved and I won't let him touch me again anyway out of fear of disease but this is recent. Its not middle age nothing he is an addict and i would be more then happy to help him if he would admit it but he is also a pathilogical liar but since i found out about the prostitute thing well i am not going to forgive that, its bad enough to chose pics or videos over your wife and say things to other woman but an actual live person? Ahh hell with all of it I have had it!!.. O.k ENOUGH OF THAT!! Embarressing enough... (although the vibrator )
I will try to be clearer.... I will call the Family law facilitatiors instead of the clerk, I got that now... My first divorce was in San Diego county, I now live in San benito county.. I know not to file in San Diego until I get my original decree first... I was just telling you guys Thanks for all the work you helped me with..... and I posted another question for a friend in the Alimony section but I may already know the answer after reading other posts? Thanks and i will let you know what the decree says and if I need to file and if I need help from there. Thank you again!!! oopps also what I was asking was : I thought I could pick up nunc pro tunc papers from San benito court house as long as they were filed in San Diego and sent via mail?