letter form my ex's attorney about visitation

[countrydad]

What is the name of your state? ohio I just got a letter from an attorney I used a few years ago in a custody battle to keep my boys (I got to keep both boys then, but the oldest turned 15 and decided to live with his mom after we came to an agreement without court, the 12 year old still lives with me). I recently sent her a letter telling her I demanded my son come visit me when he was suppose to since he wasn't coming out very often at all. She went to her attorney and wants my 15 year old to not come out if he has something else going on since transportation and froiends are an issue!?! I never said anything about tranportation and have told them both I will take him to any school functions, if we don't have plans here, he can have a friend over, etc.. My question is this....Do I have to pay my attorney to send a response to this letter or can I write one to her attorney?? If it comes down to a contempt charge, do I have the right to ask for reimbursement for what I have to spend? If I have to pay I will to see my son when he is suppose to be here I will, but I would rather avoid legal cost when I feel there should not be an issue.
Thank you for your time.

 

[snostar]

What does the current order state in regards to custody/visitation? Any agreement made outside of court or not signed by a judge is worthless.

 

[countrydad]

reply

Court papers say every other weekend, every other holiday and 5 weeks out of the summer and both boys are to be together during visitation.

 

[snostar]

Court papers say every other weekend, every other holiday and 5 weeks out of the summer and both boys are to be together during visitation.

Are you saying you were granted custody, and this is Mom's visitation? Your talking about contempt for her denying you visitation. You can't file contempt unless she is violating a court order. If there was never a court order changing custody and visitation of your 15 year old (an out of court agreement does not cut it), then only the order signed by a judge can be referenced for a violation. Has Mom filed in court? You can write a letter to her attorney, but I would strongly suggest hiring your own attorney to handle the matter.

 

[countrydad]

I apologize for not being clear. Last year the court order was changed by mutual agreement. She has legal custody of my 15 year old and I have legal custody of my 12 year old. The 12 year old visits his mom according to contract. The 15 year old does not visit me according to contract. I recently told her that I would file contempt charges if he did not come to my home as contract states. She went to an attorney and wants me to agree that the 15 year old won't have to come out if he has other plans. I want him here when he is suppose to be here. My question is, do I have to pay an attorney to respond to her attorney, or can I respond myself since she states transportation is a problem, and it has never been with me.

 

[BL]

I apologize for not being clear. Last year the court order was changed by mutual agreement. She has legal custody of my 15 year old and I have legal custody of my 12 year old. The 12 year old visits his mom according to contract. The 15 year old does not visit me according to contract. I recently told her that I would file contempt charges if he did not come to my home as contract states. She went to an attorney and wants me to agree that the 15 year old won't have to come out if he has other plans. I want him here when he is suppose to be here. My question is, do I have to pay an attorney to respond to her attorney, or can I respond myself since she states transportation is a problem, and it has never been with me.

What were the agreements regarding transportation ?

I would urge you to consult a Family Law attorney . Most will review your Court Orders and the Letter , and write a response letter for a small fee .
One that did that for me charged $50.00 , but that was years ago , and a small town lawyer .

It would make it look Official .

There would be no requirement that states you can't write a response letter yourself, but If you do make sure you address the issues in the Court Orders , and any violations thereof , and demand your rights be obeyed .

 

[LdiJ]

I apologize for not being clear. Last year the court order was changed by mutual agreement. She has legal custody of my 15 year old and I have legal custody of my 12 year old. The 12 year old visits his mom according to contract. The 15 year old does not visit me according to contract. I recently told her that I would file contempt charges if he did not come to my home as contract states. She went to an attorney and wants me to agree that the 15 year old won't have to come out if he has other plans. I want him here when he is suppose to be here. My question is, do I have to pay an attorney to respond to her attorney, or can I respond myself since she states transportation is a problem, and it has never been with me.

Let me throw some advice out here that isn't really "legal" advice. A wise parent is flexible when it comes to visitation with teenagers. No matter how much a teenager loves their parents a teen's life is dominated by their social life and they resent the heck out of anyone that interferes in that....particularly if they don't see any real reason (in their eyes) for the interference.

How close to your son do you live? Is there any way that you could be more creative with spending time with him? Does it absolutely have to be strictly according to the "contract"? If you live close by can you give your son his full "normal" weekends while still having him based at your home? Please realize that the odds are that his mother isn't spending a whole lot of time with him on her weekends either.....or at least not without his friends in tow also.

Your biggest problem is that in less than 3 years your son is going to be 18 and will have the right to do as he chooses....if you don't allow some flexibility and creativity into things you risk that he will see 18 as "freedom day" and that you won't EVER get to spend any time with him.

 

[snostar]

Yes, you can respond yourself, I always reccommend seeking the advice of an attorney, especially when dealing with children. The other point I was trying to make: if this "mutal agreement" was not signed by a judge you cannot file contempt.