Life Insurance Beneficiary Dispute

[kng2v1]

Hello, I am from Maryland, and the Life Insurance policy I am talking about was made in Virginia I believe.

Basically, I was in a homosexual relationship with someone, and we broke up. He died recently-- and left me as 65% beneficiary on the policy. Now, for some background information, on May 6th, I sent him some text messages saying that I didn't want to be friends with him anymore because I realized he's not really a genuine person. He died May 11th. They had his funeral without consulting me, and me nor any of my family were able to attend because they rushed it so fast and we have no transportation at the moment.

Now, he has told me that if I don't come to a compromise and pay about $4000 for funeral costs, he has contacted his attorney and is going to contest me on the policy so I receive nothing. He said that he has copy's of the SMS messages I sent, and will use those in a personal / legal battle until he gets this taken care of.

I have no clue what to do. Is he bluffing? I don't know much about law or life insurance policies in general, but I don't feel I should be obligated financially to pay for his funeral when I had absolutely nothing to do with the arrangements or anything like that. Legally, is there anything he can do? What should I do?

p.s. He had no will, so it's just the life insurance policy.

Thanks in advance.

 

[justalayman]

who is "he"?

You mention a "he" several times after you mention the death of your former friend so it must be somebody other than him.

Unless there was some agreement saying otherwise, you do not owe for the funeral and the 65% is yours to do with what you want.

do you know who the other 35% is designated to go to?

 

[kng2v1]

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm a little heated right now so I'm not thinking correctly. 'he' is the deceased's brother. I was designated 65% beneficiary and his brother is 35% co-beneficiary. His brother is the one trying to take me to court and contest this, because he says he has proof that "we weren't friends anymore" (The SMS messages).

 

[Antigone*]

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm a little heated right now so I'm not thinking correctly. 'he' is the deceased's brother. I was designated 65% beneficiary and his brother is 35% co-beneficiary. His brother is the one trying to take me to court and contest this, because he says he has proof that "we weren't friends anymore" (The SMS messages).

Not being BFFs anymore means nothing.

 

[kng2v1]

He left me a long text message with those threats.. he says the ball is in my court; either I pay up, or he takes me to court. Should I just tell him how I feel about the whole situation and tell him that I'm not paying the $4000? Your saying those SMS messages (which say I want nothing to do with him, we're not friends, etc.), are pretty much useless in court?

I'm new here, so I would appreciate it if you could also let me in on how you know this legal information; what kind of lawyer are you, what experience do you have, etc?

Thanks!

 

[Antigone*]

He left me a long text message with those threats.. he says the ball is in my court; either I pay up, or he takes me to court. Should I just tell him how I feel about the whole situation and tell him that I'm not paying the $4000? Your saying those SMS messages (which say I want nothing to do with him, we're not friends, etc.), are pretty much useless in court?

I'm new here, so I would appreciate it if you could also let me in on how you know this legal information; what kind of lawyer are you, what experience do you have, etc?

Thanks!

If you are new here you might want to start by reading this:

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If I were you I'd completely ignore him. He can do whatever he wants to do. He can sue you if he wants, it is a remedy available to all us Americans when we feel we've been wronged. Does he have a chance in haedes of winning. My educated guess is Nope.

 

[justalayman]

He left me a long text message with those threats.. he says the ball is in my court; either I pay up, or he takes me to court. Should I just tell him how I feel about the whole situation and tell him that I'm not paying the $4000? Your saying those SMS messages (which say I want nothing to do with him, we're not friends, etc.), are pretty much useless in court?

I'm new here, so I would appreciate it if you could also let me in on how you know this legal information; what kind of lawyer are you, what experience do you have, etc?

Thanks!

as tigi states, not being friends anymore doesn't mean anything. It is who is listed as the beneficiary on the policy. Heck, you could have been shooting at each other last week and if he failed to change the bene, oh well, it is what it is.

There are a few situations that allow a person to contest a beneficiary but this isn't one of them.

either I pay up, or he takes me to court.

I would tell him to sue me if he feels the need. Based on what you have said, I don't see him winning. Heck, tell him to use his share of the insurance to pay for the funeral. It's his brother.

and no, I am not an attorney. how I know anything: reading, listening, research

 

[Betty]

I worked at a life ins. co. & I agree with the other responders. I don't see, in this case, any reason why you as a named bene would not get your share of the proceeds to do with as you wish.

 

[ErinGoBragh]

I worked at a life ins. co. & I agree with the other responders. I don't see, in this case, any reason why you as a named bene would not get your share of the proceeds to do with as you wish.

I also worked in life insurance, and I would co-sign this whole-heartedly. You owe the brother nothing, and he has no grounds to challenge you as beneficiary.

 

[Dandy Don]

If the decedent has virtually no other assets in the estate to be able to afford to pay the funeral costs, it would be a extremely kind-hearted gesture on your part to offer to pay the funeral costs after you receive your check. It would help to keep peace in the family and may even ward off the threat of a baseless lawsuit which their side has no chance to win at all because they have no grounds to contest. As designated beneficiary, the money is automatically yours.

 

[Steelers Rule]

This guy, the brother may want to use the Life Policy as payment for the funeral and then two separate checks for what is left over after the funeral to you and the decedent's brother.

You could look at this two ways, pending on how much the insurance policy was.

Either way the guy has no right to keep you from your benefits. There will be two checks written, one to you and one to him. He can't stop that, it's your choice weather to help with the funeral, as I said before the brother is likely trying to use the policy to pay the funeral and the funeral parlor is likely coaching him to do this as they are in a faster track to collect rather than waiting on an estate.

 

[Betty]

The bottom line is it's your decision whether to help pay for the funeral or not out of your share of the proceeds.

 

[kng2v1]

So I have an update and more questions:

The life insurance policy is contestable because the policy holder died within 2 years of when he made the policy. The company is requesting the death certificate to run a routine investigation. I've agreed to pay $1500 to the deceased's family to help with funeral costs, however they are saying if I don't pay them $4500 then they will not send in their part of the claim + the required death certificate -- therefore I will not get any funds. I've contacted the state of Virginia and they said that I can't get a copy of the death certificate because I'm not technically related to the deceased.

What can I do in this situation?

 

[justalayman]

What can I do in this situation?

contact the insurance company and speak with them. If the family members refuse to send in their portion of whatever, I would argue that point with the insurance company that they are dropping their contesting of the beneficiary and the insurance company needs to issue the proceeds as the policy is written.


I did see that the state does have some extreme limitations of the death cert so if the insurance company still wants s death cert, I would contact the dept of vital record as directly as possible and explain the situation that the insurance company is requesting you provide a death cert and obviously, due to the lack of familial relationship, you are not entitle to obtain one. I would not bring the family into the conversation, only the insurance company is requesting you provide a certificate.

If the other folks won't send in what they need to to contest and you get the same position from the insurance company and you cannot obtain a death cert, I would contact the state office that regulates insurance companies and see if there is anything that can be done to force the insurer to pay out the claim since nobody is contesting it and you cannot obtain a ddeath cert.

 

[Betty]

Agree with justalayman. I would start with talking to the ins. co. & go from there.