Long distance parenting plan for 1 yr old

[stealth2]

I may be moving 1200 miles away in the next few months. I will return after 4 years. I want to participate in my sons life as much as possible. I have no problem paying child support.

Another thought I have... Over the course of four years, it is reasonable to expect that you will meet new people, including a woman with whom you want to have a relationship. Who may not be willing or able to move 1200 miles. It's easy to say now that you would leave her behind, but... when four years have passed and your relationship with your son is minimal? And you perhaps have another child with this other woman? You may NOT move back.

Or, Mom may choose to move elsewhere. You won't have much ability to stop that move, since you created a great distance yourself. No judge is going to deny her the chance to move on a hope and a promise that you're moving back in four years.

But go ahead - take your chances.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Michigan

I will be short and give as many details as possible.

I am the father of a 1 yr old, the mother and I are not on good terms at all. I have seen my son 1-2 times a wek for 8 hr periods.

- There are no custody/visitation orders in place at this time
- No child support orders in place at this time (although she claims there will be one soon due to her being on state aid, even though I pay for the bulk of the childs needs)
- I am not on the birth cert. I am the "legal father" I signed the affidavit of parentage. (big mistake since I never retained a paternity test...I know)

Recently the mother put a halt to me seeing my son for no good reason. Basically becase I asked to have my son for an overnight.

I am still waiting for the child support order to come through. We were going to "agree" to a schedule we made up upon mediation. However it looks like things will be changing now.

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I may be moving 1200 miles away in the next few months. I will return after 4 years. I want to participate in my sons life as much as possible. I have no problem paying child support.

Are there any suggested plans for long distance visitation for a baby this young?

I know moving away is not in the best interest of the child and will hinder our relationship for the time being. However when I return It will change everything since my primary reason for moving is for school as well as a much higher income job. When I return I will be much more "stable" then I am now and will be able to concentrate my efforts on raising/providing for my son.

Please any advice would be much appreciated.

Regards,

Unfortunately your move is definitely going to put a spanner in the works. With a child that young, visitation usually has to take place in the child's community. Even if you were to receive any visitation in your community, an adult would have to fly the round trip twice, to deliver and retrieve the child, so visitation in your community (which would normally be at your expense) would be quite expensive.

If there is any way that you can avoid such a move, it would be in both your best interest, and the best interest of your son. Unless you will have the kind of money that would allow you to pay for 3 round trip tickets every month, your child is likely to forget who you are between visits for at least the next year or so.

 

[txprincess]

Just my 2 pennies...and since everyone is offering their's...

I couldn't leave my child behind like that. Sure it might take you longer to finish if you stayed behind, but my goodness...isn't knowing your son and having a relationship so worth it?

BUT...if you do move, do make sure you have something set up so that when you come in town for holidays, summers, etc you have some time with your son. Like everyone has already told you, you probably will have to have visits in his community. Not likely that you'll be able to fly him out to see you at this young an age and not really having a relationship.

And don't forget about electronic communication. Skyping with him, even at this young age, would be priceless. You might have to provide mom with the equipment to do this, but again, isn't it worth it?

I have a friend here in Texas whose granddaughter lives in Florida. They have a weekly Skype session every Sunday morning. Before she knew it, that baby was calling her GiGi and laughing with her and singing with her over the computer.

You have a very long road ahead of you. Better get started now and make sure you have a finite plan in place before you go skipping off 1200 miles away.