Long distance visitation?

[stealth2]

And again - consider what you think would be "fair" if you were wearing the other shoes.

 

[mehr]

He didn't want "the baby" he had other interests to pursue. I had to move back home to have parental support because he wasn't giving any. He had no interest in seeing "the baby" and did not do so until he was 5 months old. Hmmmm. To me, fair is that he pays or it is split 50-50. I had no choice but to move.

 

[stealth2]

Yes, you did. You had a choice not to have unprotected sex. You had a choice regarding who you had sex (protected or not) with. You had a choice to not have a child until you were able to support one on your own.

You had a lot of choices. You chose to have a child that you couldn't support without your Mommy and Daddy helping you. Too late to whine about THAT choice.

Dad didn't (doesn't) have to provide support until a court says he does.

 

[mehr]

I was on the pill, but it doesn't matter, I dont have to defend myself to you. I am sure you're a perfect angel who never made any mistakes. Go get a life and stop harrassing me. Maybe then you'll stop being so bitter.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

He didn't want "the baby" he had other interests to pursue. I had to move back home to have parental support because he wasn't giving any. He had no interest in seeing "the baby" and did not do so until he was 5 months old. Hmmmm. To me, fair is that he pays or it is split 50-50. I had no choice but to move.

Fair? Hell, wouldn't it be just as FAIR for you to show up on his doorstep, hand the baby to him, pay support and take a weekend a month and two weeks in the summer then get on with your life without the burden?

 

[mehr]

Fair? Hell, wouldn't it be just as FAIR for you to show up on his doorstep, hand the baby to him, pay support and take a weekend a month and two weeks in the summer then get on with your life without the burden?

Huh? Why would I give him to someone that didn't want him?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Huh? Why would I give him to someone that didn't want him?

Well, from the sound of each and every one of your posts, it sounds to me you don't want the BURDEN of him either.

So?

 

[mehr]

I am sorry if you have misunderstood me, my son is a blessing even though he came at an inconvenient time. I love him very much. I am now in college to get a degree so that I can make a good life for him. When I was referring to him as "the baby" that is how his father always referred to him.

 

[casa]

I moved when I was 5-6 months pregnant. I don't know if the time period matters.

Yes it matters, because that would determine which state has jurisdiction (ie; which parent has to travel for court if you two can't agree).

If you were not married, did he legally establish paternity? How old is the baby/child now?

 

[mehr]

Yes it matters, because that would determine which state has jurisdiction (ie; which parent has to travel for court if you two can't agree).

If you were not married, did he legally establish paternity? How old is the baby/child now?

Thanks. I thought it was something like this, because I had a lawyer and she said something about since I moved when I was pregnant it made some kind of difference. I suppose I should just call her and ask, but I know its going to cost me. I think its been established as Illinois, because we have already been to court here, and he signed papers acknowledging his son. That is when he started to have a change of heart and "interest" in our son, but he still doesn't have much interest in him now, I think its something like he doesn't like babies/toddlers.... he wants to know him when he is older. Sigh. My son is now 14 months old.

Anyway I guess this is what I get for posting on a "legal" forum.... I've read a lot of the threads here and they seem to mostly disintegrate into people's opinions about what a horrible and stupid person you are rather than anything useful.

Thanks casa, I am not referring to you....

 

[katrinagardener]

Thanks. I thought it was something like this, because I had a lawyer and she said something about since I moved when I was pregnant it made some kind of difference. I suppose I should just call her and ask, but I know its going to cost me. I think its been established as Illinois, because we have already been to court here, and he signed papers acknowledging his son. That is when he started to have a change of heart and "interest" in our son, but he still doesn't have much interest in him now, I think its something like he doesn't like babies/toddlers.... he wants to know him when he is older. Sigh. My son is now 14 months old.

Anyway I guess this is what I get for posting on a "legal" forum.... I've read a lot of the threads here and they seem to mostly disintegrate into people's opinions about what a horrible and stupid person you are rather than anything useful.

Thanks casa, I am not referring to you....

Good luck to you. These are not easy situations with lots of black and white answers. Just ignore all the rude poster's on here! I wish you lots of luck! Take care of your son. They do grow up, and he will know who was there for him.

 

[casa]

Thanks. I thought it was something like this, because I had a lawyer and she said something about since I moved when I was pregnant it made some kind of difference. I suppose I should just call her and ask, but I know its going to cost me. I think its been established as Illinois, because we have already been to court here, and he signed papers acknowledging his son. That is when he started to have a change of heart and "interest" in our son, but he still doesn't have much interest in him now, I think its something like he doesn't like babies/toddlers.... he wants to know him when he is older. Sigh. My son is now 14 months old.

Then it's probably Illinois that will keep jurisdiction.

Don't give up on Dad ever coming around. My oldest's father was absent for a number of years (no contact, no support)...he did eventually grow/wise up and they have an important relationship today. Just keep being a parent yourself & doing the right things.