Looking for advice on harassment/stalking

[Divaschwartz]

Ok just looking for some advice the whole story is awkward and not sure how to go about it. I was involved with a girl for literally a week then lets just say things didnt go well. Since then iv been continually harassed by emails for a whole 7 months iv asked nicely for her to leave me alone iv asked horribly also as iv just had enough now. I have blocked 30 different emails she has made just to contact me (a little crazy rite) i have 4 facebook accounts blocked also but she just wont get the message "i love you please come back" blah blah. Everytime i post something on facebook/instagram/twitter i get responses in which im worried she might suddenly turn up one day to where i am? Who knows. Obviously i can make all my posts private but why should i have to? The kicker that makes things awkward is im actually english and i live in england i just come to usa where she is from on business very often so i dont know how to go about anything legally? Would i have grounds for some kind of restraining order? Can i make a case online or would i literally have to be in USA? Any advice is appreciated.

Thank you

 

[quincy]

Ok just looking for some advice the whole story is awkward and not sure how to go about it. I was involved with a girl for literally a week then lets just say things didnt go well. Since then iv been continually harassed by emails for a whole 7 months iv asked nicely for her to leave me alone iv asked horribly also as iv just had enough now. I have blocked 30 different emails she has made just to contact me (a little crazy rite) i have 4 facebook accounts blocked also but she just wont get the message "i love you please come back" blah blah. Everytime i post something on facebook/instagram/twitter i get responses in which im worried she might suddenly turn up one day to where i am? Who knows. Obviously i can make all my posts private but why should i have to? The kicker that makes things awkward is im actually english and i live in england i just come to usa where she is from on business very often so i dont know how to go about anything legally? Would i have grounds for some kind of restraining order? Can i make a case online or would i literally have to be in USA? Any advice is appreciated.

Thank you

I suggest you change your internet habits - at least for awhile - so you are not so easy to find online.

Ignore all of her emails and online messages. Don't respond to them or acknowledge their existence or her existence.

You could consult with a legal professional in England if you fear she is a physical threat to you in England (unlikely given the distance involved) and you can contact the police in the US if she becomes a problem for you here.

If you lived in the same country as this person, you would have more options.

Good luck.

 

[HighwayMan]

No, you can't "make a case" online.

You haven't said what state she lives in, but you would have to make a complaint report with her local police department who would then take it from there. Sometimes just advising a person that you will be contacting the police is enough to get the bad behavior to stop. Maybe give that a try first.

If you're not willing to make your social media accounts "private" and you continue to post personal information, including your whereabouts and activities, online for the world to see, don't be surprised if she shows up one day.

 

[Zigner]

Obviously i can make all my posts private but why should i have to?

Because there are crazy people in the world.

 

[quincy]

The police in whatever US state the woman lives in are unlikely to do much of anything about an online incident reported by a guy who resides in England.

If on one of Divaschwartz's business trips to the US the woman should become a problem, on the other hand, a call to the police could be helpful.

That said, if Divaschwartz stops posting about his activities online, the woman probably won't know when he is in the US - so he shouldn't be bothered.

He has the ability to control what he publishes about himself online. He should start controlling his online activity.

 

[xylene]

If this is happening on facebook I suggest you escalate the issue. Report everything and follow up.

Blocking 4 times is not so many. Accounts are not individually reviewed until you repeatedly complain.

I disagree with the other advisors that you are obliged to cower online because of harassment. That's frankly stupid (since it may not help) and could be a major burden, especially if your social or work life is heavily online. Being an ostrich doesn't mean people aren't stalking you, and it surely does limit your ability to do counter-intelligence.

Your danger profile is low. Stay abreast of what is happening and maintain situational awareness in the meatspace and online.

 

[quincy]

It is not "cowering online" to restrict the information you post publicly about yourself. It is smart, this whether you are being stalked by someone or not.

 

[xylene]

It is not "cowering online" to restrict the information you post publicly about yourself. It is smart, this whether you are being stalked by someone or not.

Limiting your audience to friends only DRAMATICALLY reduces your social reach. That's not an opinion, it is fact. That is just not viable while maintaining numerous legitimate and often lucrative occupations. I don't think killing a personal brand and any hope of monetizing content is sensible advice for everybody.

 

[quincy]

Limiting your audience to friends only DRAMATICALLY reduces your social reach. That's not an opinion, it is fact. That is just not viable while maintaining numerous legitimate and often lucrative occupations. I don't think killing a personal brand and any hope of monetizing content is sensible advice for everybody.

Publishing personal information is different from publishing professional information.

If you have an online stalker, it is smart to restrict your social website content.