I want to know what’s the best option to gain, Sole physical custody and legal custody because I believe that’s what’s in the best interest for my child
2015- Conciliation court agreement and stipulation order. Re custody and parenting plan.
-joint legal custody
-communication shall be done through talkingparents.com
- Established holiday schedule
Mother was not abiding by court order set in 2015. I took her back to court due to new problems my son was having because of her and her family were making derogatory remarks towards myself which made my son feel uncomfortable when he was with her or around them (her family) because he felt he had to defend me. She was also keeping my son from me when I wouldn’t agree to give her more money than agreed to through child support. She would also get upset and keep him from me when i would pay through the state website instead of giving her cash.
01/08/20
- Stipulation and order modification.
-Joint legal custody
-Neither party or third party shall make derogatory nor disparaging remarks about the other to or in the presence of, or within the hearing of, any minor child.
-neither party shall be under the influence of alcohol nor any other substance which substantially impairs that party’s ability to care for the minor child.
-neither party shall change the residence of any minor child for more than 30days without the written consent of the other or an order of this court
-A party who is unable to assume responsibility for the care of any minor child during any scheduled period of custody for that party is responsible for making adequate alternative arrangements for the care of such child.
03/2020
When the modification was made in 01/08/20202 my son was living with and attending school with mother in a different county. His Mother had dropped off my son with me at the end of February beginning of March of 2020. Her and her boyfriend at the time had split up and he was the income of the household which meant she had to move and was left couch surfing with her kids. He’s been in my care ever since. With the occasional pick up of him and dropping him off for the day or couple days. So for the last year and a half, he’s been with me. He has his own room, I have my own reliable transportation and I have my own home. When I’m not with him (due to work) Usually during the day for maybe 2/3hours or overnight shift. he’s in the care of my mother who comes to my house to watch him. Rarely is he left alone. Maybe twice in the time he’s been in my care.. I don’t ask for any financial help from mother. I do not have any county or social security assistance either. Also my son was doing better academically. I honestly believe I’m in a better situation to care for our son than she currently is. She’s almost 40yr old, only income is a babysitter job for a friend. She now rents a room from mom and dad (back in the same county as me) and has 2 other teenage kids that live with her in the room she rents. The family is gang related and I refuse to let my son make the same mistakes I once did. (Ex gang member).I want him to grow up as a KID, to be INNOCENT and happy and not have to worry about adult problems. I want him to be able to ride his bike or even walk to the corner store without being a victim or targeted as her brother was murdered at a young age of 18 due to the family’s history. Another brother is a registered sex offender, another brother has been shot at the residence of where she lives and has my son when he visits.
None of this was a factor before since she wasn’t living there but she got a new boyfriend and is trying to take my son back to attend school in Ontario which is a different city and county of which we both reside in. The reason is her new boyfriends mother lives out there and she plans to move out there in the near future (beginning of next year). I also recently went through my sons phone and seen all the text messages between my son and his mother. Which I’m concerned about now. There’s some very upsetting messages in there. You name it and it’s in there, from encouraging my son to fight (physically) with his brother, my other older son who has a learning disability from a previous relationship. She talks to my son using language as if he was an adult that she was upset with. She allows her family to speak to my son any way they please especially to bad mouth me. She bad mouths me, my kids, my mother, my brothers, my wife and my stepdaughter to my son. Something happened at the residence where my son was sent to the room and told not to come out which made him scared and she told him not to tell your dad. She was constantly lying to me and doesn’t tell me the truth about where she and my son are when he’s with her Or who he’s left with. She speaks negative about my wife and my stepdaughter and constantly calls them out of their name to my son. She encourages my son to lie to me and not tell me the truth about things that happened when in her care. When my son is with her he’s allowed to be out of the house until whatever time he feels like it. There’s a conversation where he goes for a walk, wherever they’re at, and he states “he has a knife in his pocket” and her reply to that was “omg son be careful, let me know when ur back”. I mean I just don’t understand how a mother thinks that’s ok for their son! There’s other messages where she says it’s safer for my son to be with her and stay at the “hotel room” because there’s cameras all Around. Another where she says “go ahead and sleep in, you don’t have to attend your zoom class, your grades are fucked up anyways, I’ll just call the school”.. I can go on and on about things that are wrong on so many levels.
But the most recent event that’s most disturbing for me is My older brother just committed suicide. And the first day that I let my son go to visit his mother after what had happened with my brother. When he was wherever they’re going to be spending the day together, her younger intoxicated brother takes it upon himself to start saying negative things about my brothers suicide to my son. Calling him names and using profanity. My son texts his mother and says “this guys already drunk and he’s talking shit about my uncle and calling him a coward” then sends another text saying “I’m outta here dude, I’m leaving, I’m calling my dad to pick me up” and then he takes off.. until about 2am she doesn’t know where he’s at and he’s not replying to her messages, and he never called me. She then goes on to say don’t tell your dad what happened. And I never knew about it.
The other one that gets me is my son tells her he doesn’t want to go live with her in her room cause all her family does is “talk shit” to him and about him. He states he wants to live with me and goto school where I live. That makes her upset and she starts putting the guilt trip on my son and calling him out of his name as well as mine too.
I don’t know whats best for me to do. But I do know what’s best for my son and that’s for him to not go back with his mother. I don’t know what legal option I have or which road I should take. Should I request another modification for order? Should I go exparte? Should I file try for sole physical and legal custody? What should I do? I need some help and advice. I don’t have money for an attorney but I will get one if need be. Everything i say is true and I have the proof to show for it. Also, I myself was from the gang the family is from. I’ve made many mistakes as a kid and young adult. I’ve been to prison too, so I have that been there, done that attitude. But since then I’ve left the gang and that life behind me (the reason she or the family don’t like me). There’s no positive future in it for my son. That life leads you down a road of self destruction and is a waste of life. I feel if anybody can lead my son away from that type of life is me, his father. And in doing so I can show him where and what those decisions got me. I would like to use myself as an example for him. I honestly believe with everything in me that it’s in his best interest to live with me. Not only physically where he has a stable, positive and loving environment at home. I’m financially, mentally and emotionally stable to care for him better.. He’ll also have a better education where he’ll be attending school if he was to live with me too..
Somebody please give me the best legal advice they have to offer and what my best options areplease..
Thank you.
2015- Conciliation court agreement and stipulation order. Re custody and parenting plan.
-joint legal custody
-communication shall be done through talkingparents.com
- Established holiday schedule
Mother was not abiding by court order set in 2015. I took her back to court due to new problems my son was having because of her and her family were making derogatory remarks towards myself which made my son feel uncomfortable when he was with her or around them (her family) because he felt he had to defend me. She was also keeping my son from me when I wouldn’t agree to give her more money than agreed to through child support. She would also get upset and keep him from me when i would pay through the state website instead of giving her cash.
01/08/20
- Stipulation and order modification.
-Joint legal custody
-Neither party or third party shall make derogatory nor disparaging remarks about the other to or in the presence of, or within the hearing of, any minor child.
-neither party shall be under the influence of alcohol nor any other substance which substantially impairs that party’s ability to care for the minor child.
-neither party shall change the residence of any minor child for more than 30days without the written consent of the other or an order of this court
-A party who is unable to assume responsibility for the care of any minor child during any scheduled period of custody for that party is responsible for making adequate alternative arrangements for the care of such child.
03/2020
When the modification was made in 01/08/20202 my son was living with and attending school with mother in a different county. His Mother had dropped off my son with me at the end of February beginning of March of 2020. Her and her boyfriend at the time had split up and he was the income of the household which meant she had to move and was left couch surfing with her kids. He’s been in my care ever since. With the occasional pick up of him and dropping him off for the day or couple days. So for the last year and a half, he’s been with me. He has his own room, I have my own reliable transportation and I have my own home. When I’m not with him (due to work) Usually during the day for maybe 2/3hours or overnight shift. he’s in the care of my mother who comes to my house to watch him. Rarely is he left alone. Maybe twice in the time he’s been in my care.. I don’t ask for any financial help from mother. I do not have any county or social security assistance either. Also my son was doing better academically. I honestly believe I’m in a better situation to care for our son than she currently is. She’s almost 40yr old, only income is a babysitter job for a friend. She now rents a room from mom and dad (back in the same county as me) and has 2 other teenage kids that live with her in the room she rents. The family is gang related and I refuse to let my son make the same mistakes I once did. (Ex gang member).I want him to grow up as a KID, to be INNOCENT and happy and not have to worry about adult problems. I want him to be able to ride his bike or even walk to the corner store without being a victim or targeted as her brother was murdered at a young age of 18 due to the family’s history. Another brother is a registered sex offender, another brother has been shot at the residence of where she lives and has my son when he visits.
None of this was a factor before since she wasn’t living there but she got a new boyfriend and is trying to take my son back to attend school in Ontario which is a different city and county of which we both reside in. The reason is her new boyfriends mother lives out there and she plans to move out there in the near future (beginning of next year). I also recently went through my sons phone and seen all the text messages between my son and his mother. Which I’m concerned about now. There’s some very upsetting messages in there. You name it and it’s in there, from encouraging my son to fight (physically) with his brother, my other older son who has a learning disability from a previous relationship. She talks to my son using language as if he was an adult that she was upset with. She allows her family to speak to my son any way they please especially to bad mouth me. She bad mouths me, my kids, my mother, my brothers, my wife and my stepdaughter to my son. Something happened at the residence where my son was sent to the room and told not to come out which made him scared and she told him not to tell your dad. She was constantly lying to me and doesn’t tell me the truth about where she and my son are when he’s with her Or who he’s left with. She speaks negative about my wife and my stepdaughter and constantly calls them out of their name to my son. She encourages my son to lie to me and not tell me the truth about things that happened when in her care. When my son is with her he’s allowed to be out of the house until whatever time he feels like it. There’s a conversation where he goes for a walk, wherever they’re at, and he states “he has a knife in his pocket” and her reply to that was “omg son be careful, let me know when ur back”. I mean I just don’t understand how a mother thinks that’s ok for their son! There’s other messages where she says it’s safer for my son to be with her and stay at the “hotel room” because there’s cameras all Around. Another where she says “go ahead and sleep in, you don’t have to attend your zoom class, your grades are fucked up anyways, I’ll just call the school”.. I can go on and on about things that are wrong on so many levels.
But the most recent event that’s most disturbing for me is My older brother just committed suicide. And the first day that I let my son go to visit his mother after what had happened with my brother. When he was wherever they’re going to be spending the day together, her younger intoxicated brother takes it upon himself to start saying negative things about my brothers suicide to my son. Calling him names and using profanity. My son texts his mother and says “this guys already drunk and he’s talking shit about my uncle and calling him a coward” then sends another text saying “I’m outta here dude, I’m leaving, I’m calling my dad to pick me up” and then he takes off.. until about 2am she doesn’t know where he’s at and he’s not replying to her messages, and he never called me. She then goes on to say don’t tell your dad what happened. And I never knew about it.
The other one that gets me is my son tells her he doesn’t want to go live with her in her room cause all her family does is “talk shit” to him and about him. He states he wants to live with me and goto school where I live. That makes her upset and she starts putting the guilt trip on my son and calling him out of his name as well as mine too.
I don’t know whats best for me to do. But I do know what’s best for my son and that’s for him to not go back with his mother. I don’t know what legal option I have or which road I should take. Should I request another modification for order? Should I go exparte? Should I file try for sole physical and legal custody? What should I do? I need some help and advice. I don’t have money for an attorney but I will get one if need be. Everything i say is true and I have the proof to show for it. Also, I myself was from the gang the family is from. I’ve made many mistakes as a kid and young adult. I’ve been to prison too, so I have that been there, done that attitude. But since then I’ve left the gang and that life behind me (the reason she or the family don’t like me). There’s no positive future in it for my son. That life leads you down a road of self destruction and is a waste of life. I feel if anybody can lead my son away from that type of life is me, his father. And in doing so I can show him where and what those decisions got me. I would like to use myself as an example for him. I honestly believe with everything in me that it’s in his best interest to live with me. Not only physically where he has a stable, positive and loving environment at home. I’m financially, mentally and emotionally stable to care for him better.. He’ll also have a better education where he’ll be attending school if he was to live with me too..
Somebody please give me the best legal advice they have to offer and what my best options areplease..
Thank you.
