Lump sum of child support??

[oppsworld]

I agree!!This is a big ol mess! There is a visitation order, and when she feels like it we get to have them. We don't put up the fight thats what she wants, instead we keep a journal. We also give her a calendar every 6 months with our visitation on it. We go through her having the kids call us and see if we are coming to get them ( like this weekend, got a call friday from the 12 year old). She told one of her good friends that she was going to kill me, my kids, her kids, and herself so that my husband would have to be alone (we have the letter from her friend). Her thought is my husband took care of her for x amount of years, so he is GOING to take care of her for the rest of her life. She told us that the last time we went to court. She has told us that if we get the kids she would kill them before letting us have them, so we don't fight with her so something doesn't happen. We just got the new order that we would call the kids every Tues, Thurs, and Sun between 7-8pm. We have called on those days and they are never there, when we asked about it she just says that they have things to do and we can't expect her to stay home for our phone call. So we told the kids just to call us when they are around. What else can you do?? He parents help her be the way she is, they don't see that she does anything wrong, (they are the ones that helped her hide that fact she had a live in boyfriend while we were paying alimony). Thanks for all the great advice! I need a vacation

 

[dannysmyboy]

She said we can have them if we continue to pay her every month. It wouldn't be any kind of a fight. To us it would be worth paying her so the kids can have a good and stable home life. We are still looking into it though. Thanks! . I can handle it, I have been dealing with the ex. The kids are a walk in the park.

Make sure you go through a very good attorney, and not just take "HER" word on this!!!!! Document everything!!

good luck.

 

[legalcuriosity]

I agree!!This is a big ol mess! There is a visitation order, and when she feels like it we get to have them. We don't put up the fight thats what she wants, instead we keep a journal. We also give her a calendar every 6 months with our visitation on it. We go through her having the kids call us and see if we are coming to get them ( like this weekend, got a call friday from the 12 year old). She told one of her good friends that she was going to kill me, my kids, her kids, and herself so that my husband would have to be alone (we have the letter from her friend). Her thought is my husband took care of her for x amount of years, so he is GOING to take care of her for the rest of her life. She told us that the last time we went to court. She has told us that if we get the kids she would kill them before letting us have them, so we don't fight with her so something doesn't happen. We just got the new order that we would call the kids every Tues, Thurs, and Sun between 7-8pm. We have called on those days and they are never there, when we asked about it she just says that they have things to do and we can't expect her to stay home for our phone call. So we told the kids just to call us when they are around. What else can you do?? He parents help her be the way she is, they don't see that she does anything wrong, (they are the ones that helped her hide that fact she had a live in boyfriend while we were paying alimony). Thanks for all the great advice! I need a vacation

(lifting hands from his head )

Oh oppsworld, why oh why are you letting this irresponsible woman control you? I don't know what lawyer told you that you have a slim-to-none chance at getting these kids, but that lawyer is clearly a moron.

It's pretty simple. You have a court order for visitation. If the mom violates that order, she is in contempt. No ifs ands or butts. I am hoping you don't have one of those stupid vague orders stating "reasonable visitation". It doesn't matter "what she wants". Tell her to phunk off.

If it's in the court order when you wil call the kids and they are not available, per her, she is in contempt of a court order.

The journal is good, but if you let her get away with it, then the Judge would most likely ask you why in the world you let her get away with all of that.

You REALLY need to exercise your legal rights to your children. If you push hard enough & she's violated the court orders for visitation and phone calls, you CAN get custody of those children. Like I said, there are federal laws that already state this and higher courts have ruled on it in the past. But a lawyer sure as hell isn't going to do this for you.

Oppsworld...I feel sorry for your kids they are living in the slums. YOU have no obligation to support her -- just your kids. Do what's right -- really. F**k those lawyers that tell you you are fighting an uphill battle to get custody. You have so much in your court right now. Really. Use it to your advantage and get those kids.

 

[haiku]

I honestly DON'T understand, when a NCP IS paying CS to pay their share of supporting a child, WHY they, rather than the CP who is CHOOSING TO NOT WORK, and therefore needs welfare, should have to pay back the state for the cost of the CPs support of themself!

well in cases where the CP is on wlefare and has gone through proper channels so that the NCP knows and pays thier share through the state, what is actually happening is, the CP has given up thier right to the support, in exchange for a check from the government. ANd because it is now the government supporting thier kid, and not the CP, the NCP pays the government thier half of supporting the kid.

If the NCP always pays through the state they will never be hit up later to pay back welfare, because they were paying thier half all along. but if the CP ever comes into any sort of settlement, THEY will be handing it back to the government for thier half.

in cases where the NCP is hit up later for half because the CP never reported receiving support, ist because the assumption is the NCP should now the status of thier kids financial situation.

 

[oppsworld]

Believe me I do understand. Let me give you the low down on the phone calls...... she is the one that wanted certain days, so after going to mediation (trying to help the situation) we agreed that we could call on those days. Because in the mediation order, (that was signed by a judge) it doesn't say that we have to call her house. So she explains it like this..... "You can call my cell phone, my fiances parents house trying to find us. I will not sit home and wait for you to call." My husband refuses to call HER cell phone (because she is still thinking they are getting back together, don't get me started on that one!) We are only allowed to go through e-mails because of her constant calling all hours of the night. The woman just isn't all there, she will email and say things like "you better get the kids to school everyday or I will take you back to court" She has them for the school year!! She is the one that can't seem to get them there (oldest son only went to school 6 days in Sept) It is just easier to not deal with her, besides when we do go back to court we can prove that she is just making things harder than they need to be. We will e-mail her and let her know that we did call and no one was home, she always types back. As for the attorney, we are in the process of finding a very good one, just want to have alot of proof that the kids will be better with us (don't want to take any chances). You guys/gals are great thanks for all the help

 

[dallas702]

School records will be one of your best friends right now. Truancy, tardiness, lack of participation, poor grades, poor health habits, poor attitudes, poor peer relationships all get noticed by the teachers and admin. Truancy alone is a reason for custody change...and your husband does have a right to all those records. Good teachers will also notice if students show up in dirty or unkempt clothes, and/or their general apprearance shows lack of care from home. Have dad talk to the teachers regularly.

 

[oppsworld]

We do that. They are all in summer school because she can't seem to get them there and they are all behind. I get the records online through the schools website. For summer school the teachers call and give me reports every two weeks. Never a dull moment here!

 

[oppsworld]

Thanks so much!