Me again! Update!

[frylover]

Ok, at the risk of getting in trouble for being "emotional" and "non-legal" here goes....

HOW on EARTH can people like that look at themselves in the mirror? And HOW can that woman be considered a fit parent? Grrrr.

Rochelle, I really hope that your husband can get his child away from those people.

 

[Rochelle]

Thanks. He's going for custody, and the hearing is set for October 13th. In the meantime, all we can do is be there for her and try not to let her see how upset it makes us to know she is being traumatized. She calmed down considerably when my husband told her that he believed her and it would be ok. He picks her up this Friday for a whole week, so we're trying to plan some fun things to help relieve some of her stress. Not to mention our own!

 

[PADadandMom]

We've paid the attorney a substantial fee. My husband is wondering if he should ask his attorney to see if things can be worked out before the October court date or let it go to court. What's your opinion?[/QUOTE]


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She must have much to hide. Take her to court and make her accountable for the things that have happened within her home. If the shoe was on her foot and she had the money, she'd take him down in a NY minute.

 

[Rochelle]

He refused to settle and she ain't a happy camper. Anyway, she sent my husband and his mother (I have no idea why she sent my mother in law a letter) a certified letter saying that my husband was "brainwashing" their child and that it made her sick the way he treats the child. I think she's lost her mind.

Anyway, the child told us that her mother threatened to "beat her butt" if she didn't call my husband and tell him she's been lying to him about everything. She said she told her mother she wanted to live with us and her mother said "fine, but you'll never see your baby brother again. I'll come to town for my visit and get a hotel room and not bring him." They took her horse away.

 

[Rochelle]

Let me ask this question. We had a recorder hooked up to the phone for the last week. Last night, we couldn't find it and my stepdaughter said she had it in her room. My husband got it and this morning he was going to hook it up, and he listened to the tape and his daughter had recorded herself. She was saying how her stepfather spanked her with a shoe and it hurt (her mother denies this happened) and that her mother was there and shrugged when it happened. She always goes on to say that she loves her horse and her new brother, but that she does not want to live with her mother and that she wants to live with Daddy. She states that her stepfather threatens to put her head through the wall and that she is tired of being called a "stupid liar" when she's not lying.

Is this tape something the attorney and judge should hear? There's no way to prove we weren't there when it was made or that we didn't coach her. Last night she told us that she was "afraid to go home" this weekend because all her mother and stepfather do is grill her about what she said to Daddy and what Daddy said about them.

 

[BL]

In the event the visits are still ordered , you need to have specific orders included in the Judges rulings.

1 ) Neither party shall speak derogatory about the other in front of or to the child . The Parents shall not allow any outside persons in presence of the child to speak derogatory about or to the child .

2 ) neither Parent is to put the child in the middle of adult matters.

There may be other orders you might want included, as per punishment , asking the child about the other parents and what was said.

This constant back and forth feud between the parents , with the child being put in the middle is not good for their emotional and mental well being.

I'd get the child some counseling ASAP, and get some orders in place .

 

[Rochelle]

My next question was going to be if my husband could ask the court to order the child be taken to see a therapist. She needs someone to talk to that she can trust but her mother refused to allow her dad to take her when they lived closer and now that they're so far away her mother would have to take care of it.

 

[BL]

Ask the Court to appoint a guardian Ad Litem ( Attorney for the child and the child's best interest ).

Also ask for a psychological evaluation done for the child. ( you may have to pay for it ) .

 

[Rochelle]

Thanks. I'll pass that along to my husband.