Michigan divorce, no-fault.

[Ladyback1]

I'll answer your questions in order. 1). hard question....our schedules have changed several times in our childrens lives. Currently, I spend more time with the kids.
2). Mother breakfast, father dinner/ Mother to school, father pick up from school....mother usually does laundry....we both take kids to doctor....

How old are the kids?

 

[Nodivforme]

How old are the kids?

6 and 8**************..

 

[Ohiogal]

to get what the OP wants, you would not want joint physical custody. Not saying you can't have joint physical custody. Just saying that would not result in what the OP was wanting.

I misunderstood. With the above I agree.

 

[Ladyback1]

6 and 8**************..

It truly will be what is in the best interest of the children (how the court decides). And you need to make sure what you want as far as custody is in the best interest of the children.

 

[Nodivforme]

It truly will be what is in the best interest of the children (how the court decides). And you need to make sure what you want as far as custody is in the best interest of the children.

It is....when I go to bed I know my kids are safe in the room next to mine. I wouldnt know if they would be safe wherever spouse ends up. Spouse doesnt know where either.

 

[LdiJ]

I'll answer your questions in order. 1). hard question....our schedules have changed several times in our childrens lives. Currently, I spend more time with the kids.
2). Mother breakfast, father dinner/ Mother to school, father pick up from school....mother usually does laundry....we both take kids to doctor....

Then it sounds to me like you are going to end up sharing the children in more than just a manner where the children reside with one parent and visit the other. It sounds to me like you will end up with some form of joint physical custody where the children will be residing in both homes.

 

[LdiJ]

It is....when I go to bed I know my kids are safe in the room next to mine. I wouldnt know if they would be safe wherever spouse ends up. Spouse doesnt know where either.

I am sorry, but things just don't work that way and that is something that you are going to have to accept. When parents divorce their children are no longer sleeping in the room next to them all the time. Part of the time they are going to be sleeping in the home of their other parent. Its a big adjustment for everyone, but things will go a lot smoother for everyone, including the children, if both parents accept that from the get go.

 

[Bali Hai]

Who has been the primary caretaker for the children? Who fixes their meals, takes them to school (or daycare), who does their laundry, takes them to the doctor etc.? Generally the primary caretaker is the parent who gets primary custody.

Let's assume a nanny does all of this. Would she get primary custody?

 

[LdiJ]

Let's assume a nanny does all of this. Would she get primary custody?

Of course not...and that was just a silly question. You know better.

 

[BL]

Of course not...and that was just a silly question. You know better.

I beleive Bali Hai is trying to make a point , at least to the poster.

As was said , either the court will accept the plan ,or rule otherwise in the children's best interest.

Yes stability and community are factors.

Parties can have Joint Legal - intended for parties that can communicate and get along - to decided together on major decision making for the child(ren) , and a visitations schedual. Orders can also address relocation- writtenpermission by the other party ,or the court, and other stipulalation the other parties or the court agrees upon or decides.

 

[CJane]

http://www.a2lawyer.com/articles/family/divorce.html#4

When "Fault" Matters
A trial court may consider "fault" issues when dividing the marital assets, or when assessing spousal support (alimony). Please note that under most "fault" circumstances, the trial court will not dramatically change the division of assets. With most marital estates, you will need to consider whether a five or ten percent difference in the property division justifies the expense and conflict associated with attempting to prove fault. There is often a better financial return in making sure that all assets are located, properly valued, and included in the marital estate, as opposed to trying to prove fault.

Please note that while the five or ten percent difference is most typical, in extreme cases courts have been known to award larger amounts, and on at least one occasion even the entire marital estate, to the wronged spouse. Your attorney can help you make the assessment of what is likely to happen in your case, and whether you would benefit from trying to make fault an issue.

Division of Property
The first consideration for a court in evaluating the division of the marital estate is the determination of which portions of the estate constitute the parties' separate property, and which is part of the marital estate. By way of example, inheritances are usually considered to be the separate property of the spouse who received the inheritance. Similarly, a business or asset owned prior to the marriage may be considered to be a separate asset, depending upon how it was treated during the marriage. At times, an item of property might be deemed to be "separate property", while the appreciation or interest earned by the asset is considered to be a marital asset. At other times, a parties separate property at the onset of the marriage may be deemed to have merged into the marital estate. Also, a trial court may invade one spouse's separate property when necessary to provide for the adequate post-divorce support of the other spouse.

Factors to be considered by the trial court when dividing the marital estate include:

The parties' past relations and conduct;
The duration of the marriage;
The source of property;
The parties' contribution towards its acquisition;
The needs of the parties;
The parties' earning ability;
The cause for divorce;
The age of the parties;
The parties' health;
The parties' life status;
Necessities and circumstances of the parties;
General principles of equity (fairness); and
Additional factors deemed relevant to a particular case.
Spousal Support (Alimony)
An award of spousal support is ordinarily made within the context of the division of the parties' property and assets. Under appropriate circumstances, a trial court may provide for temporary spousal support while a divorce case is pending, or may order support to be paid retroactive to the date the complaint for divorce was filed. A spousal support award may take into consideration the amount of marital estate, and whether one of the spouses will have to liquidate assets awarded in the divorce in order to maintain a reasonable lifestyle. Where one spouse has sufficient income to preserve his or her share of the property settlement and the other does not, spousal support may be appropriate.

Spousal support is usually awarded either in the form of periodic payments or "in gross" (in a lump sum). Periodic payments are usually described as "rehabilitative" (short-term payments to help the recipient spouse get back on his or her feet), or permanent (ordinarily lasting until death, remarriage, or further order of the court). Awards of periodic alimony are normally subject to subsequent modification by the court, whereas awards of alimony in gross ordinarily cannot be modified after judgment.

Factors to be considered by a trial court in awarding spousal support include:

Past relations and conduct of parties;
Length of the marriage;
Age of the parties;
Ability to work;
Present situation of parties;
Needs of the parties;
Health of the parties;
Ability to pay alimony;
Source and amount of property awarded the parties;
Prior standard of living of the parties and whether either is responsible for the support of others; and
General principles of equity (fairness)
There are at least two sets of unofficial spousal support guidelines available in Michigan. Courts will usually entertain calculations made under the guidelines, but the guidelines are not binding on the court.

Fault in the breakdown of the marriage is NOT a consideration in awarding custody of the children except perhaps insofar as that fault may affect the best interests of the children (and here's a hint - it almost never does).

Dad, you're going to have to wrap your head around the idea that your kids - once the divorce is over - are going to be outside of your purview and control for a large portion of the rest of their lives. The sooner you come to terms with that, the better off ALL of you will be.

 

[Proserpina]

What I'd really like is reconciliation with spouse. But that's not looking like its going to happen anymore. So, I want my kids to live here. The only home they know. They will be traumatized enough when this divorce happens. I see no reason to uproot them because of a selfish parent. But I DO want mother to be part of their lives as well. I guess I dont know what type of custody that would fall under.

Kids are a lot more resilient than we tend to think.

If you were military, they'd have to get used to the possibility of moving frequently and not seeing you much. While I realize that military and divorce are separate entities, the problems - in terms of uprooting the children - are strikingly similar.

They'll either get used to it in which case it's no longer an argument, or they'll act up just the same way regardless of whether it's a military situation or a divorce, in which case...well, it's no longer an argument.

Y'know?