gttriathlete
Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Michigan
I am in the middle of divorce proceedings, and everything has been decided except alimony. There is a wide gap in expectations, and I need to know whether to work amicably or take to a mediator. I'll provide some facts, and any help you can give to help set my expectations would be greatly appreciated.
Bottom Line:
She expects 2000/mon alimony for 4-7 years, I expect to pay 2000/mon in the first year, but declining in years 2 and 3 until year 4 when she is on her own.
Facts about our situation:
Length of marriage:
- 15 years
Past relations and conduct of the parties
- No physical abuse
- No emotional abuse (she may attempt to establish verbal abuse and repression, I think the argument is very weak - no worse than a similar argument going the other way
- Cordial relationship until 2004 (May)
- Poor behavior from her (an affair) Aug - Oct 2004 (which still continues)
Ages:
- I am 38
- She is 39
Property of Each Spouse
- Divided right down the middle
- About 100K each
Earning capacity of each spouse
- Me - current - 150K
- Me - short term potential - 150K
- Her - current - 33K (working 3 days / week)
- Her - short term potential - 55K (working full time), or up to 80K (job change with current skillset - she's resisting the 'pressure' of switching jobs
Impairments in earning capacity
- None
Children at Home
- 11 year old, full time school
- 5 year old, school 3 days / week. Will go full time in 9 months.
Standard of living:
- Comfortable, but not extravagant
- Great schools, big house, not much else lavish
- Full time au-pair (40 hrs / week) to support the family
Contribution of one spouse to the other's career
- Jointly paid off HER student loan with our assets
- SHE supported me while out of town for 10 weeks on training
- I supported her by moving to New York for her career (1996)
- She supported me by managing the household while I traveled full-time (1999)
- We jointly elected to move to Michigan after I became unemployed (2001)
- She supported me with time (not money) for getting an MBA 2003-5
Fault
- I will claim that Her extramarital affair in aug - oct 2004 was the causal
- She will claim that the marriage was over long before that - and that I was the causal over the years for neglect
Tax consequences and prenups are not factors...
I am in the middle of divorce proceedings, and everything has been decided except alimony. There is a wide gap in expectations, and I need to know whether to work amicably or take to a mediator. I'll provide some facts, and any help you can give to help set my expectations would be greatly appreciated.
Bottom Line:
She expects 2000/mon alimony for 4-7 years, I expect to pay 2000/mon in the first year, but declining in years 2 and 3 until year 4 when she is on her own.
Facts about our situation:
Length of marriage:
- 15 years
Past relations and conduct of the parties
- No physical abuse
- No emotional abuse (she may attempt to establish verbal abuse and repression, I think the argument is very weak - no worse than a similar argument going the other way
- Cordial relationship until 2004 (May)
- Poor behavior from her (an affair) Aug - Oct 2004 (which still continues)
Ages:
- I am 38
- She is 39
Property of Each Spouse
- Divided right down the middle
- About 100K each
Earning capacity of each spouse
- Me - current - 150K
- Me - short term potential - 150K
- Her - current - 33K (working 3 days / week)
- Her - short term potential - 55K (working full time), or up to 80K (job change with current skillset - she's resisting the 'pressure' of switching jobs
Impairments in earning capacity
- None
Children at Home
- 11 year old, full time school
- 5 year old, school 3 days / week. Will go full time in 9 months.
Standard of living:
- Comfortable, but not extravagant
- Great schools, big house, not much else lavish
- Full time au-pair (40 hrs / week) to support the family
Contribution of one spouse to the other's career
- Jointly paid off HER student loan with our assets
- SHE supported me while out of town for 10 weeks on training
- I supported her by moving to New York for her career (1996)
- She supported me by managing the household while I traveled full-time (1999)
- We jointly elected to move to Michigan after I became unemployed (2001)
- She supported me with time (not money) for getting an MBA 2003-5
Fault
- I will claim that Her extramarital affair in aug - oct 2004 was the causal
- She will claim that the marriage was over long before that - and that I was the causal over the years for neglect
Tax consequences and prenups are not factors...