Military Divorce

[milguy84]

I'm in the military originally from New York and still file taxes for that state. I met my wife of Philippines nationality while stationed in Japan. Utilizing a fiancé visa, I married my wife in Arizona on August 2010. We had a child in California on May 2017. I established my intent to divorce on December of 2018 while stationed in Japan for the second time. We started living in separate rooms on February 2019. We moved to Virginia November 2019 still maintaining separate rooms. I will be getting an apartment on January 18th, 2020. I believe our date of separation should be February 2019 and not January 2020. I will not wait another year to get divorced. I shouldn't be penalized for not living in separate houses due to the difficulties of military life, while trying to co-parent and be fair to my spouse. What is the fastest way to divorce? Do I have the option of filing for divorce in New York? If it has to be Virginia, how early can I file for divorce?

 

[stealth2]

What's the hurry?

 

[Zigner]

You are living together - I don't believe that you are living "separate and apart" as required by the statute. You should speak to a local attorney.
Please be aware that you and/or your spouse must have lived in VA for at least 6 months before you may file for a divorce there.

 

[FlyingRon]

If you're talking about separate and apart for Virginia purposes, it doesn't need to be a separate house. Seperate rooms suffice as long as you can show you are living seperately: independent finances, no sex, no shared meals, not having her do chores to your benefit (like laundry or vice versa) and are not doing things that associate yourself with being married (hanging out in public together). It would help to make a formal written statement of intent.

Zig is right that you can't file in Virginia unless one (or both) have resided there for six months, but that's not to say you shouldn't see an attorney NOW so that you will meet the requirements to file at the earliest opportunity.

 

[Zigner]

If you're talking about separate and apart for Virginia purposes, it doesn't need to be a separate house. Seperate rooms suffice as long as you can show you are living seperately: independent finances, no sex, no shared meals, not having her do chores to your benefit (like laundry or vice versa) and are not doing things that associate yourself with being married (hanging out in public together). It would help to make a formal written statement of intent.

I suspect that there are shared meals and shared chores. Kids tend to cause that.

 

[milguy84]

There is shared meals and finances. I'm the only one bringing in income at the moment. We do help with chores, we are living like roommates.

 

[Zigner]

There is shared meals and finances. I'm the only one bringing in income at the moment. We do help with chores, we are living like roommates.

You are NOT separated, as required by Virginia.

 

[LdiJ]

You are living together - I don't believe that you are living "separate and apart" as required by the statute. You should speak to a local attorney.
Please be aware that you and/or your spouse must have lived in VA for at least 6 months before you may file for a divorce there.

Just as an FYI, you may be able to file for divorce in NY now since you maintain NY residency while in the Military, but NY would not have any jurisdiction over the custody of your children. The only possible state, at this point, that could take jurisdiction of over the custody of your children is VA. So while you don't want to wait, you probably should so that everything can get handled at once.