minor children

[proach]

What is the name of your state? texas
son and daughter in law are divorced with joint custody mother is primary. she is living with boyfriend number 3 since divorce. charges have been filed by me for possible child abuse against my grandchildren (by the boyfriend but with the mothers knowledge) she knows I am the one who called the police and cps because i refused to release the children to her boyfriend for the reason of safety. my son has the children every other weekend and on wednesdays and she said they cannot come into my home. i have been a major caregiver in the last three years, watching the children almost for two years straight and then every other weekend for the past year. will my son be in contempt or does she have any say if the children can come into my home? I understand grandparents rights are very limited in texas but what else can i do to protect my grandchildren? cps has been involved in at least 3 separate incidents with proof and have chosen to do nothing. do i have any recourse? I am afraid that if I wait to long the children will suffer or even worse.

 

[stealth2]

It depends. Is there a restraining order against you, or barring the kids from entering your home? Does Mom have right of first refusal to watch the kids if Dad can't? If the answer to all of those is no, Mom cannot stop Dad from having you care for the kids on his time - at his place or yours. If the answer to any of them is yes, then she does have some say.

Of course, once she finds out about it, she may try withholding visitation. If she does that, your son will need to deal with it through the courts. Also, she may well go and get a restraining order against you.

 

[proach]

restraining order

won't she have to have a reason for a restraining prder?

 

[stealth2]

Sure. But TRO's aren't all that hard to get. And a judge may feel that it would be in the kid's best interest not to be placed in the middle of the animosity. Just something to bear in mind.

 

[proach]

any suggestions

is there anything else that can be done to further protect the minor children from abuse/neglect? like i said, cps had documentation in the past (children at age 2 and 6 mo. left home alone all night 2 year old found in the parking lot in the middle of the night looking for mother. cps response was to put locks on the door too high for the two year old to reach endangering the children if there were a fire(just one incident) very frustrated because the incidents continue and cps visits and gives her a little speech and that is it. i don't want the children to suffer and i would give up seeing them if i had to but i need advice as to where to go to get further investigation before someting very serious happens?

 

[stealth2]

Your son could file for custody if there continue to be problems. But he may not get far is CPS doesn't take stronger action. And depending on how much you call CPS and/or the police, you may find yourself charged with harrassment.

What's Dad doing about all this?

 

[proach]

confused

i am a little confused. i was told by a judge that if a child tells you that they are being abused and you neglect to report it you can be charged with endangering the child. i was also hesitant about reporting this last incident because i think the children just suffer and nothing is done. when i did report it, i was questioned as to why i didn't report it immediately the day it was told to me. the dad, well i chose not to give him specifics because of how he might react, which i did disclose to the police. he is consulting with an attorney (i think) prepaid legal because of finances. i don't really know what anyone is doing except it seems to me that the children are the ones who will suffer until something serious happens and then maybe someone will step up to their defense. in the meantime i guess i will take one step at a time and act in the childrens best interest.

 

[stealth2]

I think it's a fine line. If CPS isn't finding anything worth acting on, then eventually it turns into a "boy who cried wolf" situation. And as far as I know, it's only mandatory reporters who are required to report suspected abuse (teachers, doctors, etc). When it's a former mother-in-law calling repeatedly, the tendency is to consider it sour grapes.

I do think Dad needs to know, tho. A much more effective manner of helping the kids would be for him to arrange some type of counseling for them on his time. A call to CPS from a therapist (also mandatory reporters) would carry MUCH more weight than another call from you.

How old are the kids now? What sort of abuse? They might also be advised to tell their teacher or the school nurse.

 

[proach]

abuse

the alleged abuse is boyfriend kicking 6 yr old in the stomach, moms response was to take him to other grandmother until boyfriend cooled off. the reports to cps did not only come from me, the school has reported abuse to cps. the children are 4 (girl) and 6 (boy). the children have had belt welts and bruises. my report to cps was documented when the children were left alone overnight (documentation came from the person and apartment complex who found the boy wandering in the parking lot in the middle of the night) boy was 2 yrs old. other documentation from people bringing the boy to my home wandering the neighborhood.) this recent report from me apprx 3-4 yrs later came from the above abuse statement when i was advised by the police to report to cps. the mother called the police when i wouldn't release the children to the alleged abusive boyfriend. childrens mother asked me to watch the children so the police said i didn't have to release them if i had concern for their safety. what a mess! mainly neglect has been continual so i have made myself available for the grandchildren to help in any way possible. i just hope that cps and the police will do whatever is the best thing to protect the children.