Prosemodad
Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri.
I have been trolling the forum here for several days and finally decided I would try and get some advice. The gist is this, My ex wife and I have been divorced since 2009 and have two children together, we have joint legal custody. I am now remarried and have one child born of my current marriage. My ex wife has filed a motion to modify. The main changes she is requesting is that she be granted sole legal custody and that I be required to provide 100% of the transportation(currently we are meeting halfway, we live approximately 3 hours from one another). Her grounds are that we have been wholly unable to communicate making joint custody impossible.
That was the simple version but there is a lot of back story here and I will try to keep it pretty minimal.
The back goes something like this. During the marriage my Ex suffered from severe mood swings eventually being diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder of some assortment, she was actually diagnosed after the divorce so I don't have many details here, along with severe postpartum depression, attempting suicide several times. These mood swings would also cause violent outbursts in which she would assault me, sometimes in front of, or even while I was holding, the children. Never directly assaulting the children though. I tried to get her help, I made her appointment after appointment and she never kept them...the old addage "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink"...fits here. Anyway I reached my breaking point and told her I couldn't do it anymore.
Well literally overnight I found out how much of a manipulator and controller she really was. She called her parents from whom she was estranged and who are also quite wealthy, and started telling them lies. She filed for an ex parte order of protection which was later dropped, at the time I was a police officer and that alone nearly cost me my job, and she attempted suicide two more times. During this time she also broke into my house, literally climbed in through an unlocked window and got my duty pistol out and held me at gunpoint. That encounter ended with her assaulting me again fortunately not with the pistol, and her going to jail. She was charged with domestic assault, trespassing and property damage. The case was plead down to remove the assault charge and she was put on probation.
Her parents bought her a decent lawyer but it doesn't take a great one to win a case based completely on lies. I understand that it was her manipulating the attorney and he just thought it was the truth and he was doing right by her, but with my limited funds and little understanding of civil law she got pretty much everything she asked for. My visitation was a minimalistic, Friday at 6pm to Sunday at 5pm every other weekend. Holidays were split pretty fairly and she requested $290 a month for child support because any more than that and she would lose her state provided insurance.
The divorce ordered her to meet me halfway, but for about the first year she didn't meet me one time. She simply refused. I didn't know at the time I should be documenting each instance for a contempt motion. Then 15 months after the divorce she was hospitalized again for a suicide attempt, this time with the two boys in the apartment with her. During her stay she was tested for drugs and several were found in her system. This was March of 2010. The boys came to live with me and stayed until about August of that year. All the while I continued to pay her child support even though the boys were with me...I figured the boys are with me, I know they are stable and safe, why try and change anything, I thought it was just about money for her and that would keep her happy. Well she requested them back at the end of the summer and as I said I didn't know how to proceed in court...hindsight being 20/20 I should have just bit the bullet and talked to an attorney. Well when she requested the boys back she informed me that she had moved to get away from the drugs and her new residence was about 2 hours further away from me living with a woman in a lesbian relationship which didn't bother me because this girl seemed to have her head on right, she is in the air force knows how to work for a living, no drugs etc. and way better than the trash my ex had been seeing. No notice at all just the call to ask for the boys back. She seemed to be doing better, after all, several months had passed. And to my knowledge she hasn't had any more problems since her move.
Fast forward to now. She has filed a motion to modify custody making her the sole legal custodian and wants me to start doing all the transportation. She has several accusations that are extremely wild and completely untrue. I think I know how to respond to the motion, but there is one more kink.
The boys were here last week on spring break and Sunday when I text her to make sure we were still meeting she simply responds "I can't get them today" I did some checking with her local police department and found out that her significant other was arrested for domestic assault on Saturday 3/24. My ex was being very vague with details but she did tell me she was in the hospital, she says for injuries due to the assault but knowing her history I'm not convinced that is the reason. She called today and wants me to bring the boys to meet her at noon tomorrow, her Partner is on a 30 no contact order, meaning that she posted bond and as a condition she will have no contact with the victim, but I don't really want the boys to be around that type of situation.
I have a group legal plan at work and called all three attorneys in my area that participate and none will take the case because the divorce was filed a few counties away. Also none will even act as a consultant for me if I were to do the paperwork myself. I know I will likely need an attorney so if anyone would like to suggest foot the bill yourself and hire a lawyer I know that already. I would like other options if there are any. Also would it be wise to file a counter motion or would I even have grounds for one at this point?
Thanks in advance and sorry for the long story.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
I have been trolling the forum here for several days and finally decided I would try and get some advice. The gist is this, My ex wife and I have been divorced since 2009 and have two children together, we have joint legal custody. I am now remarried and have one child born of my current marriage. My ex wife has filed a motion to modify. The main changes she is requesting is that she be granted sole legal custody and that I be required to provide 100% of the transportation(currently we are meeting halfway, we live approximately 3 hours from one another). Her grounds are that we have been wholly unable to communicate making joint custody impossible.
That was the simple version but there is a lot of back story here and I will try to keep it pretty minimal.
The back goes something like this. During the marriage my Ex suffered from severe mood swings eventually being diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder of some assortment, she was actually diagnosed after the divorce so I don't have many details here, along with severe postpartum depression, attempting suicide several times. These mood swings would also cause violent outbursts in which she would assault me, sometimes in front of, or even while I was holding, the children. Never directly assaulting the children though. I tried to get her help, I made her appointment after appointment and she never kept them...the old addage "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink"...fits here. Anyway I reached my breaking point and told her I couldn't do it anymore.
Well literally overnight I found out how much of a manipulator and controller she really was. She called her parents from whom she was estranged and who are also quite wealthy, and started telling them lies. She filed for an ex parte order of protection which was later dropped, at the time I was a police officer and that alone nearly cost me my job, and she attempted suicide two more times. During this time she also broke into my house, literally climbed in through an unlocked window and got my duty pistol out and held me at gunpoint. That encounter ended with her assaulting me again fortunately not with the pistol, and her going to jail. She was charged with domestic assault, trespassing and property damage. The case was plead down to remove the assault charge and she was put on probation.
Her parents bought her a decent lawyer but it doesn't take a great one to win a case based completely on lies. I understand that it was her manipulating the attorney and he just thought it was the truth and he was doing right by her, but with my limited funds and little understanding of civil law she got pretty much everything she asked for. My visitation was a minimalistic, Friday at 6pm to Sunday at 5pm every other weekend. Holidays were split pretty fairly and she requested $290 a month for child support because any more than that and she would lose her state provided insurance.
The divorce ordered her to meet me halfway, but for about the first year she didn't meet me one time. She simply refused. I didn't know at the time I should be documenting each instance for a contempt motion. Then 15 months after the divorce she was hospitalized again for a suicide attempt, this time with the two boys in the apartment with her. During her stay she was tested for drugs and several were found in her system. This was March of 2010. The boys came to live with me and stayed until about August of that year. All the while I continued to pay her child support even though the boys were with me...I figured the boys are with me, I know they are stable and safe, why try and change anything, I thought it was just about money for her and that would keep her happy. Well she requested them back at the end of the summer and as I said I didn't know how to proceed in court...hindsight being 20/20 I should have just bit the bullet and talked to an attorney. Well when she requested the boys back she informed me that she had moved to get away from the drugs and her new residence was about 2 hours further away from me living with a woman in a lesbian relationship which didn't bother me because this girl seemed to have her head on right, she is in the air force knows how to work for a living, no drugs etc. and way better than the trash my ex had been seeing. No notice at all just the call to ask for the boys back. She seemed to be doing better, after all, several months had passed. And to my knowledge she hasn't had any more problems since her move.
Fast forward to now. She has filed a motion to modify custody making her the sole legal custodian and wants me to start doing all the transportation. She has several accusations that are extremely wild and completely untrue. I think I know how to respond to the motion, but there is one more kink.
The boys were here last week on spring break and Sunday when I text her to make sure we were still meeting she simply responds "I can't get them today" I did some checking with her local police department and found out that her significant other was arrested for domestic assault on Saturday 3/24. My ex was being very vague with details but she did tell me she was in the hospital, she says for injuries due to the assault but knowing her history I'm not convinced that is the reason. She called today and wants me to bring the boys to meet her at noon tomorrow, her Partner is on a 30 no contact order, meaning that she posted bond and as a condition she will have no contact with the victim, but I don't really want the boys to be around that type of situation.
I have a group legal plan at work and called all three attorneys in my area that participate and none will take the case because the divorce was filed a few counties away. Also none will even act as a consultant for me if I were to do the paperwork myself. I know I will likely need an attorney so if anyone would like to suggest foot the bill yourself and hire a lawyer I know that already. I would like other options if there are any. Also would it be wise to file a counter motion or would I even have grounds for one at this point?
Thanks in advance and sorry for the long story.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?