Mom took kids on Vacation not coming back

[stealth2]

I get the feeling this is a pro-mom site, and that is cool, but just so you know there are many great dads out here who do their responibility and are great fathers, I want my children in my life.

It's a PRO CHILD site. And you did the children a disservice by not being legally declared their father when they were born. Don't blame us for your ignorance/laziness.

And the children looking just like you means nothing. One of mine looks just like their Dad, while the other looks nothing like him. I can guarantee he fathered both, despite the lack of resemblance.

 

[bucksrq]

How is it ignorance or laziness? I have grandparenst, parents, aunts, uncles, many friends, and a cousin who is a family attorney, and she has children, she has never mentioned paternity, and none of my relatives or friends have ever had paternity tests and several of them are divorced. It never crossed my mind to have that, I asked my cousin and she never suggested that. Thanks for calling me names to make you feel better about yourself, that is the best advice I have ever been given

 

[stealth2]

How is it ignorance or laziness? I have grandparenst, parents, aunts, uncles, many friends, and a cousin who is a family attorney, and she has children, she has never mentioned paternity, and none of my relatives or friends have ever had paternity tests and several of them are divorced. It never crossed my mind to have that, I asked my cousin and she never suggested that. Thanks for calling me names to make you feel better about yourself, that is the best advice I have ever been given

Presumably, those relatives were all MARRIED when the children were born. That makes a difference, legally. And I'm sorry that your cousin never thought it important to mention paternity to you. But it was YOUR responsibility to find out what rights you had as an unmarried partner.

If you HAD established paternity, you could have immediately filed for custody and to have the children returned. You can't do that now, though. You have to establish paternity first. By the time that's done and you get into court for custody? It is entirely possible that enough time would have passed that Mom would have status quo to keep the kids in PA.

 

[Humusluvr]

It's a PRO CHILD site. And you did the children a disservice by not being legally declared their father when they were born. Don't blame us for your ignorance/laziness.

And the children looking just like you means nothing. One of mine looks just like their Dad, while the other looks nothing like him. I can guarantee he fathered both, despite the lack of resemblance.

That's not really fair to say to dad. He was with mom when children were conceived, when they were born, and when they lived in his house and enrolled in school. It's not like he would have known better. Guy just wants some help, now that mom pulled an a-hole move and split with the kids. You don't have to beat up new posters for asking questions.

Dad, file immediately for custody and visitation. Continue asking questions here. If children lived in your household for their entire lives, then changing status quo may be questioned by a judge. Them being truant from school is also an issue.

 

[stealth2]

That's not really fair to say to dad. He was with mom when children were conceived, when they were born, and when they lived in his house and enrolled in school. It's not like he would have known better. Guy just wants some help, now that mom pulled an a-hole move and split with the kids. You don't have to beat up new posters for asking questions.

Dad, file immediately for custody and visitation. Continue asking questions here. If children lived in your household for their entire lives, then changing status quo may be questioned by a judge. Them being truant from school is also an issue.

W/O a DNA test or Mom's corroboration, we don't actually KNOW that - nor does OP. Really. And you know that.

And I am not beating him up. He seems unable to comprehend that he is not LEGALLY their father or that MOM has EVERY right to move the kids away. Come on, HL - you know all of this.

 

[bucksrq]

That's not really fair to say to dad. He was with mom when children were conceived, when they were born, and when they lived in his house and enrolled in school. It's not like he would have known better. Guy just wants some help, now that mom pulled an a-hole move and split with the kids. You don't have to beat up new posters for asking questions.

Dad, file immediately for custody and visitation. Continue asking questions here. If children lived in your household for their entire lives, then changing status quo may be questioned by a judge. Them being truant from school is also an issue.

Thank you very much I came here looking for help I love my kids and didn't ever think something like this would happen, I have not said negative things about their mom and there is more to this story, but this isnt where I am going to air that and she needs to get her self right and take care of her personal issues, I just wanted some legal help, I think being here and continuing their normal life with their family and friends is what is best for them, thanks for your help.

 

[bucksrq]

W/O a DNA test or Mom's corroboration, we don't actually KNOW that - nor does OP. Really. And you know that.

And I am not beating him up. He seems unable to comprehend that he is not LEGALLY their father or that MOM has EVERY right to move the kids away. Come on, HL - you know all of this.

She didn't move them away, they went on a vacation with return plane tickets that I paid for, as a Christmas present, there was a return date, January 2nd, she decided this weekend that she did not want to come back, she has a job here, my kids have roots here, I will do what I am told to do by my attorney once I speak to her this afternoon

 

[tuffbrk]

You and your attorney have no time to waste in filing paternity!! Good luck to you! Please keep us updated.

 

[davew128]

I get the feeling this is a pro-mom site, and that is cool, but just so you know there are many great dads out here who do their responibility and are great fathers, I want my children in my life.

No, it's a site that doesn't care for stupid people who clearly are not listening to the legal realities being pounded against their thick skulls.

 

[davew128]

That's not really fair to say to dad. He was with mom when children were conceived, when they were born, and when they lived in his house and enrolled in school. It's not like he would have known better. Guy just wants some help, now that mom pulled an a-hole move and split with the kids. You don't have to beat up new posters for asking questions.

I'm a single guy and I can guarantee you that if I knocked up my GF and I wanted a relationship with the kid, I'd file for paternity ASAP.

 

[Humusluvr]

She didn't move them away, they went on a vacation with return plane tickets that I paid for, as a Christmas present, there was a return date, January 2nd, she decided this weekend that she did not want to come back, she has a job here, my kids have roots here, I will do what I am told to do by my attorney once I speak to her this afternoon

You can't be sure that she's "gone forever" then. I hope you get a chance to talk to her, and make a case for their return. Mostly, it would be in the best interests of the children not to have their lives disrupted so abruptly, without any of their things, and that you can work something out after they are home.

In the mean time, don't forget the legalities of this. Unless you signed an Affidavit of Paternity that LEGALLY declares you their father, you are at risk.

And ignore the seniors here that would SUGGEST you are ignorant, stupid or lazy. They have gotten a bit jaded and full of themselves to suggest that people who are looking for help are in some way idiots. Most of us here do not believe that. Asking questions is the road to making things right.

Good luck to you.

 

[Humusluvr]

I'm a single guy and I can guarantee you that if I knocked up my GF and I wanted a relationship with the kid, I'd file for paternity ASAP.

You are one person. There are many paths in life. Do not crap on new posters here who are asking questions. That makes you look like a douche.

 

[Humusluvr]

W/O a DNA test or Mom's corroboration, we don't actually KNOW that - nor does OP. Really. And you know that.

And I am not beating him up. He seems unable to comprehend that he is not LEGALLY their father or that MOM has EVERY right to move the kids away. Come on, HL - you know all of this.

I do. He's trying to understand his situation. And get help. If you can help the guy, and give him some new knowledge along the way, that will really make his, and his children's, lives better.

 

[stealth2]

And ignore the seniors here that would SUGGEST you are ignorant, stupid or lazy. They have gotten a bit jaded and full of themselves to suggest that people who are looking for help are in some way idiots. Most of us here do not believe that. Asking questions is the road to making things right.

Good luck to you.

Oh please. What else do you call insisting that you're the father because you were in the delivery room? Or because the kid looks like you? Or insisting that a single man should not have to file for paternity because of the above? That IS ignorant. And, given the age of the oldest? It is lazy, IMO.

And FTR? I NEVER called him stupid.

 

[bucksrq]

You can't be sure that she's "gone forever" then. I hope you get a chance to talk to her, and make a case for their return. Mostly, it would be in the best interests of the children not to have their lives disrupted so abruptly, without any of their things, and that you can work something out after they are home.

In the mean time, don't forget the legalities of this. Unless you signed an Affidavit of Paternity that LEGALLY declares you their father, you are at risk.

And ignore the seniors here that would SUGGEST you are ignorant, stupid or lazy. They have gotten a bit jaded and full of themselves to suggest that people who are looking for help are in some way idiots. Most of us here do not believe that. Asking questions is the road to making things right.

Good luck to you.

I apreciate the help, I call everyday and do not get an answer the last I spoke with her was a text stating she (they) are not coming back, I would rather talk to her and have them come back and then obviously go through the steps to make sure this does not happen again. Thanks for the help