mom wants to sign over custody dont understand why

[lonelyandsad]

ny-a little background-my husband has 2 children with his ex gf,a 4 yr old son,and a 3 yr old daughter,thier mother gave him full custody of the kids,and she has visitation rights only(her choice).last week,she gave birth to a healthy baby boy,and she wants to sign over custody of this child to him,and have visitation rights only.he knows the child is his because he's the only one she slept with,but niether of us understand why any mother would give up custody of their kids.has anyone else here been in this situation?i feel part of it is beacuse her mother was murdered last year,and her father was never really part of her life.or maybe shes just not ready to be a parent,i dont know,but shes changed.shes not the same girl she was before her mom died.she stopped going to counseling,she pretty much keeps to herself now,seldom goes anywhere. worried friend

 

[LdiJ]

ny-a little background-my husband has 2 children with his ex gf,a 4 yr old son,and a 3 yr old daughter,thier mother gave him full custody of the kids,and she has visitation rights only(her choice).last week,she gave birth to a healthy baby boy,and she wants to sign over custody of this child to him,and have visitation rights only.he knows the child is his because he's the only one she slept with,but niether of us understand why any mother would give up custody of their kids.has anyone else here been in this situation?i feel part of it is beacuse her mother was murdered last year,and her father was never really part of her life.or maybe shes just not ready to be a parent,i dont know,but shes changed.shes not the same girl she was before her mom died.she stopped going to counseling,she pretty much keeps to herself now,seldom goes anywhere. worried friend

Its very possible that she is seriously depressed. It certainly sounds like enough has happened recently in her life to cause that. Its also possible that she realizes that she is not the best person to raise children....at least at this time. If you and she are friends I would recommend encouraging her to get back into counseling.

 

[casa]

ny-a little background-my husband has 2 children with his ex gf,a 4 yr old son,and a 3 yr old daughter,thier mother gave him full custody of the kids,and she has visitation rights only(her choice).last week,she gave birth to a healthy baby boy,and she wants to sign over custody of this child to him,and have visitation rights only.he knows the child is his because he's the only one she slept with,but niether of us understand why any mother would give up custody of their kids.has anyone else here been in this situation?i feel part of it is beacuse her mother was murdered last year,and her father was never really part of her life.or maybe shes just not ready to be a parent,i dont know,but shes changed.shes not the same girl she was before her mom died.she stopped going to counseling,she pretty much keeps to herself now,seldom goes anywhere. worried friend

I agree, encourage her to seek counseling. If you want to keep the siblings together, maybe you can suggest you retain temporary custody of the baby and let Mom know it will give her time to get some help- and that you'd be willing to return custody to her in the future when she is ready?

If you are able to be friends with the Xwife, it would really benefit everyone. The children will learn that you genuinely care about their mother, and that you all can work together for the benefit of all the children.

 

[GothicAngel]

It sounds like your friend needs alot of support. Be there for her and try to convince her that she needs to go back to consuling. Take care

 

[stealth2]

Okay, I've got to ask as I've simply lost count - how many kids are living with y'all now?

 

[lonelyandsad]

stealth how many kids you got in YOUR HOSUE?

dont worry about the other kids,this isnt about them,this is about a newborn baby boy.i dont want to take michelle's place as his mother,im worried he'll get upset later on down the road if he finds out his mother didnt want to raise him.

 

[stealth2]

Actually, it could have more to do with them than you realize. How enthusiastic do you suppose a court is going to be to allow you to adopt your siblings when they realize that all the two of you are doing is adding to your pack? With this infant, unless I'm mistaken, you'll have his two toddlers, your two toddlers, your infant, his infant, your 14yo brother's infant and God knows how many other minors of varying ages. A court may take a very dim view of this situation. And it may well lead to your bro's kid's grandparents to renew their drive to gain custody of the kid.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Don't forget she's pregnant also. I think that makes about 15? Maybe she can't say how many for some other reason? How many under 5 years? She must be drawing attention to herself with so many children and how does she care for them?

 

[stealth2]

Don't forget she's pregnant also. I think that makes about 15? Maybe she can't say how many for some other reason? How many under 5 years? She must be drawing attention to herself with so many children and how does she care for them?

No, that's the infant she has. This would be the 6th child under 5 (not including her brother's twins). A judge is going to look at all of this very closely, should it come to that. I'm just trying to figure out where one finds (affordable) housing for that many in NYC. Not that we'll get a response.

 

[Reyna7]

Where do they live

What kind of house, how many bedrooms? I am not sure this is on the up and up. How would she have time to be on the computer, laundry alone would be a full time job and diapers and bottles, and then there is cooking meals for that many people. There is just no way she has that many kids and is 21 or something and still has time to be online for hours each day.

 

[kat1963]

My name is Alice & I remember everything!

9 –siblings ages 5-14
2 –twins Karen & Lisa, 16 months old from some guy who isn’t paying support & wants custody.
1 –infant Keith who’s father was a fiancé but was murdered recently but that’s okay we moved on really QUICK from that relationship too!

Okay, that’s 12

Then we have:

2 –twins who her 14 year old brother Josh produced when he was 12, Kasey & Jay. The young mother died somehow, but they shared custody with the dead girls parents or he has custody now...not sure, wasn't made clear on that one.

That’s 14

Now we add:

3 –new hubby Stefan’s children who’s mother just decided she didn’t want them.

That’s 17 kids in the house at any given time or 19 if you count the new married couple.

You do realize that the social security checks provided by the taxpayers are to care for the children NOT to support yourself, your out of wedlock children, your brothers out of wedlock children, your husband or his out of wedlock children either. That's what (?) 10 checks but still 19 people to support. Oh but wait!! My crystal ball tells me that your new husband works for the city making a 6 figure income & you all moved into his tri-level brownstone right? Am I close??

This entire thing is a train wreck waiting to happen. That’s if it’s even true. I have a feeling that Kelly has some kind of strange Munchausen FACTITIOUS DISORDER by INTERNET proxy thing going on.

But folks let us not forget that she is LONELYANDSAD !!!!

KAT

 

[LdiJ]

What kind of house, how many bedrooms? I am not sure this is on the up and up. How would she have time to be on the computer, laundry alone would be a full time job and diapers and bottles, and then there is cooking meals for that many people. There is just no way she has that many kids and is 21 or something and still has time to be online for hours each day.

She came from a very large family and her parents died. I suspect that they left a large home (perhaps even a home that had been in the family for more than one generation - very possible in NYC), and most likely made some financial provisions for their children. I can't imagine in this day and age that two parents would choose to have as many kids as her parent's had, without having some substantial financial resources. She is 24 if I remember correctly. There are enough older kids in the home that I suspect that they help a great deal with the little ones and she may even have some paid help.

This is just all a guess on my part....and I will admit that I base it in part on the fact that she has never expressed any financial worries...nor any difficulties in coping.

I have actually had some contact with her 14 year old brother on a completely different website....and he is clearly 14, not someone posing as a 14 year old.

 

[stealth2]

Tho, I would have thought that, had the parents had significant financial means, someone's language skills would be somewhat greater than they appear to be. I'm sorry, LDi, but I think you're giving more credit than is due.

 

[LdiJ]

Tho, I would have thought that, had the parents had significant financial means, someone's language skills would be somewhat greater than they appear to be. I'm sorry, LDi, but I think you're giving more credit than is due.

I could be entirely wrong....I admit it. Like I said, its just a guess on my part.
I don't take the language skills into consideration as much as I used to. After observing the way that my highly educated daughter and her friends use language on the internet I find it harder to judge that sort of thing by language.

 

[TNBSMommy]

who’s father was a fiancé but was murdered recently but that’s okay we moved on really QUICK from that relationship too!

Not only did she quickly get over her dead fiance, but she married a man whose ex JUST LAST WEEK gave birth to his third child..If he was with her that recently, that doesnt leave alot of time between her and him getting together, and marrying...

By lonelyandsad:

last week,she gave birth to a healthy baby boy,and she wants to sign over custody of this child to him,and have visitation rights only.he knows the child is his because he's the only one she slept with,

NOT TO MENTION~there is another passed away person indirectly in relation to this girl...her step childrens' grandmother on the moms side...

Good lord, I am nottrying to be mean, but I barely made it through my own parents deaths(no 9 siblings, only one who was 17 when our last parent passed away) I think I would have to have myself committed with all this that has "gone on" in your life...