Mom won't return child...

[gasgirl]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NV

My husband is going crazy over this, but is stuck in the Operating Room and can't do anything, and our attorney is out of town. My step-daughter calling me crying and begging me to help...

Husband has custody of his daughter, the mother lives 4 hrs away in California. Mother was to have yesterday until today at 2.
She hasn't seen daughter in many months so she asked to have her a few extra days (she was to stay here in town until Wed for daughter's school). We agreed, of course. Well, mother took her out of state and caused her to miss school, and now refuses to bring daughter back.

Daughter called last night late to say mother was hitting her, and the sex-offender boyfriend was screaming obscenities at her. The older brother, 23, was there and was to bring her home this morning, but he called and said mother and boyfriend were not letting daughter come.

Mother says she'll bring daughter "when I am good and ready", and the boyfriend just kicked in the door when I told daughter over the phone to just go to her bedroom and stay there. I called the local police desk and they said they do not get involved in custody issues out of state, even if presented with the court visitation schedule. They also told me they would not get involved with charges of domestic violence unless marks were left from hitting the daughter. Said he could only do "welfare check at the home" to make sure the child was OK, but could not remove her unless signs of violence.

I am stunned. Daughter is a model student, very quiet and a sweet, gentle girl. It is killing me because I feel helpless.

What is the next move? Husband asked me to get hold of attorney- no luck. What can I do? If my husband drives to mom's to get the child, I know there will be trouble: sex-offender boyfriend is also convicted felon (assault and drugs) and currently on probation for DUI #2.

 

[acmb05]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NV

My husband is going crazy over this, but is stuck in the Operating Room and can't do anything, and our attorney is out of town. My step-daughter calling me crying and begging me to help...

Husband has custody of his daughter, the mother lives 4 hrs away in California. Mother was to have yesterday until today at 2.
She hasn't seen daughter in many months so she asked to have her a few extra days (she was to stay here in town until Wed for daughter's school). We agreed, of course. Well, mother took her out of state and caused her to miss school, and now refuses to bring daughter back.

Daughter called last night late to say mother was hitting her, and the sex-offender boyfriend was screaming obscenities at her. The older brother, 23, was there and was to bring her home this morning, but he called and said mother and boyfriend were not letting daughter come.

Mother says she'll bring daughter "when I am good and ready", and the boyfriend just kicked in the door when I told daughter over the phone to just go to her bedroom and stay there. I called the local police desk and they said they do not get involved in custody issues out of state, even if presented with the court visitation schedule. They also told me they would not get involved with charges of domestic violence unless marks were left from hitting the daughter. Said he could only do "welfare check at the home" to make sure the child was OK, but could not remove her unless signs of violence.

I am stunned. Daughter is a model student, very quiet and a sweet, gentle girl. It is killing me because I feel helpless.

What is the next move? Husband asked me to get hold of attorney- no luck. What can I do? If my husband drives to mom's to get the child, I know there will be trouble: sex-offender boyfriend is also convicted felon (assault and drugs) and currently on probation for DUI #2.

Call the local police and ask them to do the well child check. If he is on probation it could be trouble for him depending on what is in his probation. Ask them to specifically talk to the child away from the mother. There is really nothing else you can do as a step parent.

Your husband also needs to file contempt as soon as possible and ask that all visitation be suspended until this goes back to court.

 

[sometwo]

Said he could only do "welfare check at the home" to make sure the child was OK,

So did you ask them to do that? What was the outcome of the welfare check?

 

[CourtClerk]

Dad needs to drive over there and go get his child. Take a police escort to keep the peace.

 

[gasgirl]

Police said they would do well-check, haven't heard from them.

Mother took daughter's cell-phone, and the boyfriend just disconnected land line at the house, disconnecting our call. She was crying frantically as mother wrestled the phone away.

Boyfriend apparently kicked in the door to her bedroom earlier.

Boyfriend's not violating anything unless he is in the vicinity of the minor without the mother, or hits the child.

Child is so intimidated and scared, I don't know if she will open up to the cops.
Cops indicated they did not want to get involved with "out-of-state custody issues".

"Listen lady, we are busy. We don't have time to drive out there with your husband to remove the child unless she is in physical danger." Quote from the Deputy Sheriff...

 

[LdiJ]

Police said they would do well-check, haven't heard from them.

Mother took daughter's cell-phone, and the boyfriend just disconnected land line at the house, disconnecting our call. She was crying frantically as mother wrestled the phone away.

Boyfriend apparently kicked in the door to her bedroom earlier.

Boyfriend's not violating anything unless he is in the vicinity of the minor without the mother, or hits the child.

Child is so intimidated and scared, I don't know if she will open up to the cops.
Cops indicated they did not want to get involved with "out-of-state custody issues".

"Listen lady, we are busy. We don't have time to drive out there with your husband to remove the child unless she is in physical danger." Quote from the Deputy Sheriff...

Your husband may have to get an attorney to try to get the court in CA to order the cops to assist him in picking up the child. Then they won't have any choice. However, in the meantime (since that cannot happen before some time next week) your husband needs to get in the car and get there and attempt to pick up his child. He needs a copy of the custody order in hand, and he needs to call the cops if they refuse to turn over the child....if they initially refuse then he needs to move up the chain of command.

It if were my child I would be in the car (or on a plane) right NOW.

 

[CourtClerk]

Your husband may have to get an attorney to try to get the court in CA to order the cops to assist him in picking up the child.

Have you ANY idea of how difficult and time consuming THAT would be???

 

[LdiJ]

Have you ANY idea of how difficult and time consuming THAT would be???

Yes I do, but if the cops won't help him, and mom won't release the child to him, what other choice does he have? Is there any other way he can force the powers that be in CA to force mom to release the child to him?

 

[CourtClerk]

Yes I do,

Really? Tell us how he would go about doing that?

 

[majomom1]

Yes I do, but if the cops won't help him, and mom won't release the child to him, what other choice does he have? Is there any other way he can force the powers that be in CA to force mom to release the child to him?

I thought the police had to help... and in this case with kicking in doors and a crying child that would be enough for them to at least do a well check. (It was for me.)

Something else I would like to know is does Mom have any custody? OP says Dad has custody and Mom hasn't seen the daughter in a while. If Mom doesn't have legal or physical custody then the police can make Mom turn daughter over to Dad... of course Dad still needs to go there... NOW.

 

[CourtClerk]

I thought the police had to help...

It's been my experience that they won't get involved in what is essentially a civil matter, but if dad is in fear that there is going to be some trouble because of this dude being there, he can always request a civil standby while he goes to the door to retrieve his child. Will they make mom turn over the kid? No. Probably not, but they will keep the peace while he attempts to retrieve his child.

and in this case with kicking in doors and a crying child that would be enough for them to at least do a well check. (It was for me.)

And it is...

 

[LdiJ]

Really? Tell us how he would go about doing that?

You are not being helpful to dad. We all know that under the UCCJEA dad could get the CA courts to help him enforce his NV custody order...and that the CA courts could order the police to assist.

Please don't punish dad for your animosity towards me. If there is another way that dad can retrieve his child if mom refuses to release the child and the police won't help him, please let dad know.

 

[CourtClerk]

You are not being helpful to dad. We all know that under the UCCJEA dad could get the CA courts to help him enforce his NV custody order...and that the CA courts could order the police to assist.

Please don't punish dad for your animosity towards me. If there is another way that dad can retrieve his child if mom refuses to release the child and the police won't help him, please let dad know.

Is that a long way of saying.... well, I don't know?

 

[LdiJ]

Is that a long way of saying.... well, I don't know?

No, its not. Its a way of saying that you and I both know danged well that a CA attorney could get him help from the CA courts on an emergency basis. That is the whole purpose of the UCCJEA.

However, clearly, you prefer to use your animosity towards me to make "digs" at me rather than to help a custodial parent in a fairly serious circumstance.

That's just sad...maybe even sick.

 

[sometwo]

The cops would not assist my husband in getting his child back either.

We all showed up in mom's driveway. In laws and us. The cops had already left so we called them again. My husband told them we were sitting in their driveway so I guess that's why they came back out. (maybe to keep the peace?) Anyway they came out and they went in to do a check on the child. For some reason I think they were in contact with children's services when they decided to go in and do a check on the child.

My husband had told them about mom having a history with them so I don't know if maybe that's why.

Anyway they came out from the child check and said the child was fine etc. (this was all over stepson being sick and she had a dr note to not spread it to siblings. Although mom had a sibling in her house (stepsibling) . My husband also told cop that. Put on top of that I had told her the morning before stepson HAD to go to dr. I knew the smell on his break was strep. We always took him to the dr and stuff but I thought she's his mom she should be able to.

She didn't she waited until the next evening and broke out in a rash from scarlet fever (only time he had ever had scarlet fever) Hence the whole dr note.

So the cops is talking to us and my father n law says how about this? I break down the door , grab my grandson , hand him to his father and while you take me to jail they take him home?

Right after that we were allowed to take stepson home , well my inlaws, under the condition we would separate the children. Which we did, drove 6 hours that night to drop daughter off at my moms so I could get stepson the next morning from my inlaws.

Now I'm not saying this is the best way. It sucked it was done like that but my husband felt he had no other choice. If it were me I would at least go and attempt to get the child and in the end the police may very well step in and help. You never know unless you try.