Mother Is Trying To Serve Me..On What Grounds??

[father_of_2]

What is the name of your state? Ga

I have split custody of my son and as of late I have been the only one taking care of him; a year and a half to be exact. A month ago I gave her an ultimatum: either she starts helping out with her son or I file for a change of custody. She ignores this and continues to do nothing. Last week she picks him up from the daycare that I pay for and takes him to the dentist. I agreed she could do this. She then asks can she keep him until after Thanksgiving. I think to myself why should u get any priveleges when you dont do anything all year long. But Thursday is one of her scheduled days so I didnt have much of a choice. I also said that if you keep him until then and you decide not to help me with the daycare bills that I asked you to help with a month ago then I will cancel the daycare and you will have to keep him the following week and provide your own daycare. She laughs this off and keeps him. Friday rolls around and she attempts to drop him off at the daycare that I provide. They informed her that the bill was not paid and that she could not leave him there.

So today I find out that she is trying to serve me with papers. I have no idea on what grounds she is suing me as I have not violated the order in anyway. The order basically says that whoever has custody of the child has to provide daycare and cover any expenses. I have been doing this for the last year and a half with no help. She does it for 1 day and she resorts to filing a case. I find it quite funny actually. I am still debating on whether I should accept the papers and go to court and explain to the judge what she has NOT done for the last year or just blowing it off completely.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state? Ga

I have split custody of my son and as of late I have been the only one taking care of him; a year and a half to be exact. A month ago I gave her an ultimatum: either she starts helping out with her son or I file for a change of custody. She ignores this and continues to do nothing. Last week she picks him up from the daycare that I pay for and takes him to the dentist. I agreed she could do this. She then asks can she keep him until after Thanksgiving. I think to myself why should u get any priveleges when you dont do anything all year long. But Thursday is one of her scheduled days so I didnt have much of a choice. I also said that if you keep him until then and you decide not to help me with the daycare bills that I asked you to help with a month ago then I will cancel the daycare and you will have to keep him the following week and provide your own daycare. She laughs this off and keeps him. Friday rolls around and she attempts to drop him off at the daycare that I provide. They informed her that the bill was not paid and that she could not leave him there.

So today I find out that she is trying to serve me with papers. I have no idea on what grounds she is suing me as I have not violated the order in anyway. The order basically says that whoever has custody of the child has to provide daycare and cover any expenses. I have been doing this for the last year and a half with no help. She does it for 1 day and she resorts to filing a case. I find it quite funny actually. I am still debating on whether I should accept the papers and go to court and explain to the judge what she has NOT done for the last year or just blowing it off completely.

According to your post she does NOT have to pay for daycare because the child is in your custody. So you are in violation of the order...Not her.

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state? Ga
I am still debating on whether I should accept the papers and go to court and explain to the judge what she has NOT done for the last year or just blowing it off completely.

If you blow it off, she wins by default. Not smart.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

From what I can remember from prior posts, whoever has the child the night before gets to pay for the sitter the next day. The child support was based on a 50/50 split. He's had the child 95%, but no contribution from mom.

Since mom had the child on Friday, mom was responsible for the daycare cost.

 

[father_of_2]

According to your post she does NOT have to pay for daycare because the child is in your custody. So you are in violation of the order...Not her.

perhaps you read it wrong or I didnt make it clear. I said the order states who ever has custody of the child has to provide daycare.. meaning who ever has physical custody of the child at the time has to provide their own daycare. We have split custody so I do not have sole custody. Also the order states he is to be picked up from the mother's house on Friday's at 8pm not dropped off at the daycare that I provide in the middle of the day. So again how am I in violation? And if I am in violation then that would make her in violation as well for the past year, correct?

 

[father_of_2]

If you blow it off, she wins by default. Not smart.

oh no I didnt mean blow it off as in get served and not go. I meant do like she does and avoid being served. But it would make it easier If i get served to let the judge hear how its been for the last year.

 

[Zigner]

We are not psychics and we are not mind readers. We can't answer the question of what you are being served.
Accept service of the papers and go to court. If you are so in the right, you will prevail, right?

 

[Silverplum]

perhaps you read it wrong or I didnt make it clear. I said the order states who ever has custody of the child has to provide daycare.. meaning who ever has physical custody of the child at the time has to provide their own daycare. We have split custody so I do not have sole custody. Also the order states he is to be picked up from the mother's house on Friday's at 8pm not dropped off at the daycare that I provide in the middle of the day. So again how am I in violation? And if I am in violation then that would make her in violation as well for the past year, correct?

Here is a common misconception: Folks think they can declare their X "guilty" of a "violation" or find them "in contempt."

Fact is, the Court is the entity that declares guilt and finds contempt. And the Court doesn't KNOW what's going on inside each household. You have to file for contempt for the Court to know, and rule.

So far as the Court knows, you're happy with the way things have been, because you haven't done anything to object.

 

[Zigner]

oh no I didnt mean blow it off as in get served and not go. I meant do like she does and avoid being served. But it would make it easier If i get served to let the judge hear how its been for the last year.

If you avoided service, she may find a way to serve you by publication. And, how much you want to bet that it would be in a newspaper that you never read?

 

[father_of_2]

From what I can remember from prior posts, whoever has the child the night before gets to pay for the sitter the next day. The child support was based on a 50/50 split. He's had the child 95%, but no contribution from mom.

Since mom had the child on Friday, mom was responsible for the daycare cost.

Yea something like that. The order is a bit vague about who is to provide daycare. The only thing clear is that whoever has the child has to pay for daycare and any other expenses. I have been doing this almost since June of last year. I remember CJane stating that it is NOT a violation to not pick up the child. It is only a violation to withhold the child which I have never done. There is also no other expenses or child support that she should be reimbursed for since there is no child support order and I have had him 95% of the time.

 

[casa]

perhaps you read it wrong or I didnt make it clear. I said the order states who ever has custody of the child has to provide daycare.. meaning who ever has physical custody of the child at the time has to provide their own daycare. We have split custody so I do not have sole custody. Also the order states he is to be picked up from the mother's house on Friday's at 8pm not dropped off at the daycare that I provide in the middle of the day. So again how am I in violation? And if I am in violation then that would make her in violation as well for the past year, correct?

I do not think you are in violation...and <un>luckily? the wording of your order does not provide for exact times/days, therefore proving Contempt (even if it were true) would be difficult at best.

The major issue here is that IF she is filing re; the daycare, she will look like an idiot. Please tell me you receipts for payment at the center? Also, sign in/out sheets so you can prove you have the child a larger majority of the time. She may end up paying Child Support. In the longrun, you may Thank her for bringing this action/modification forward, bc it may just increase your Custody %.

MOST IMPORTANTLY: You have to allow & not avoid service. (why look like an idiot before you're even in court?) and once, you actually GET the paperwork, come back & tell us exactly what it says.

 

[father_of_2]

I do not think you are in violation...and <un>luckily? the wording of your order does not provide for exact times/days, therefore proving Contempt (even if it were true) would be difficult at best.

The major issue here is that IF she is filing re; the daycare, she will look like an idiot. Please tell me you receipts for payment at the center? Also, sign in/out sheets so you can prove you have the child a larger majority of the time. She may end up paying Child Support. In the longrun, you may Thank her for bringing this action/modification forward, bc it may just increase your Custody %.

MOST IMPORTANTLY: You have to allow & not avoid service. (why look like an idiot before you're even in court?) and once, you actually GET the paperwork, come back & tell us exactly what it says.

I do have receipts for payments and everyone at the daycare KNOWS me and that I drop him off EVERYDAY and pick him up EVERYDAY. She has been there a total of 3 times out of 6 months and always brings him back the same day. So there is no problem proving that I have him 95% of the time. I also agree that her serving me will probably help me more than her because I was about to file for a change of custody if she did not straighten up. But now with this frivolous suit I will proceed as planned. I will let her serve me and see what it says.

 

[casa]

I do have receipts for payments and everyone at the daycare KNOWS me and that I drop him off EVERYDAY and pick him up EVERYDAY. She has been there a total of 3 times out of 6 months and always brings him back the same day. So there is no problem proving that I have him 95% of the time. I also agree that her serving me will probably help me more than her because I was about to file for a change of custody if she did not straighten up. But now with this frivolous suit I will proceed as planned. I will let her serve me and see what it says.

The sign in/out sheets and receipts are evidence. Telling the court that 'everyone knows you' at the daycare, isn't. Subpoena' a childcare provider is expensive & creates tension at the center. They may be able to file affidavits/declarations...but still, if it did go to a trial, they'd have to be able to be cross-examined.

Point is. It's just faster/easier/cheaper to get the receipts & sign in/out sheets or whatever they log attendance in...and file them. (AFTER you get the paperwork and we even know what it says).

 

[father_of_2]

The sign in/out sheets and receipts are evidence. Telling the court that 'everyone knows you' at the daycare, isn't. Subpoena' a childcare provider is expensive & creates tension at the center. They may be able to file affidavits/declarations...but still, if it did go to a trial, they'd have to be able to be cross-examined.

Point is. It's just faster/easier/cheaper to get the receipts & sign in/out sheets or whatever they log attendance in...and file them. (AFTER you get the paperwork and we even know what it says).

yea i understand that. But "sign in/out sheets" dont indicate who signed him in or out. Its just a machine where you punch in his id. It just shows he was there. They take roll for that also everyday so either way they know he was there but have no idea who dropped him off. The point of saying everyone sees me every single day was to point out that it was me who drops him off and picks him up. Not to mention I pay for five full days of daycare when I should only be paying for 2. I have reciepts for that as well. Im sure affidavits will be sufficient.

 

[CJane]

yea i understand that. But "sign in/out sheets" dont indicate who signed him in or out. Its just a machine where you punch in his id. It just shows he was there. They take roll for that also everyday so either way they know he was there but have no idea who dropped him off. The point of saying everyone sees me every single day was to point out that it was me who drops him off and picks him up. Not to mention I pay for five full days of daycare when I should only be paying for 2. I have reciepts for that as well. Im sure affidavits will be sufficient.

Are you kidding me? There's no signout sheet so they can't possibly know WHO has the kid EVER?

Wow. Just Wow.