Mother taking only child out of state

[mushroom44]

What is the name of your state? Colorado
I am not legally married to the mother of my only child - a 4 year old boy. Two years ago, the mother took him and her other three (by previous marriages ) back east for Christmas. I was left here to pay the bills and look after the house until she was to return on Jan 4. Nine months and nine airplane trips later, she came back. Yesterday, I was informed that she wants to take the same trip in two weeks to take care of some of (her) family business. Because of short notice I wll be unable to go once more. She has been vague about her return. There have been no domestic issues other than the usual financial struggles. What are my options to compel her to return with my son or if she refuses, then what??

 

[Ithildriel]

Has paternity been established?

 

[mushroom44]

Not through DNA or blood tests. I was there when he was born and accepted paternity at that time. No concrete evidence that I am not biological father.

 

[Silverplum]

Not through DNA or blood tests. I was there when he was born and accepted paternity at that time. No concrete evidence that I am not biological father.

Then you have a Real Problem.
Get DNA testing handled, get paternity established at once. Because right now? You are not legally the kid's father.

 

[mushroom44]

OMG - Never thought about it that way. Felt that signing the form at birth was sufficent. I thought about having DNA done in the past due to some vague suspicions but never did. You are right. Not being legally married and not having medical proof of paternity does present a serious hole in any claim I might have. Now I am REALLY worried about her intentions.

 

[Silverplum]

OMG - Never thought about it that way. Felt that signing the form at birth was sufficent. I thought about having DNA done in the past due to some vague suspicions but never did. You are right. Not being legally married and not having medical proof of paternity does present a serious hole in any claim I might have. Now I am REALLY worried about her intentions.

It means you have no claim at all.
Get busy, mushroom!

 

[mushroom44]

Well - you know what they say about mushrooms - that's why I picked that username. I'll get on this right away - gonna take a litte time tho. Thanks for the insight.

 

[Silverplum]

You're welcome. Good luck.

 

[NotAnAttorney]

What form did you sign at the hospital? Is your name on the birth certificate? I'm not sure on Colorado laws, but you should check with a local attorney, because if what you signed was a sort of Acknowledgement of Paternity and you and the mother BOTH signed it and you are listed as the father on the birth certificate, you MIGHT already have been established as the legal father and you might simply need to file some papers in the Court to prevent her from taking the child out of state. But like I said, check with a local attorney because I don't know about Colorado laws really.

 

[mushroom44]

Thank you to NotAnAttorney - I'm not sure what the form was called or if the mother signed it or not. I will check into it. I have contacted a local DNA testing lab following SilverPlum's advice. It IS important to establish paternity in this case from a legal standpoint. I'm not sure if the form I signed is considered legal proof or not in Colorado so I will have to check that out also. In the meantime, assuming that I AM the biological father, what can I do to ensure that IF I agree to her taking my son on this trip that she will bring him back. After the stunt she pulled last time, you can understand my concern. At the same time I do not want to be a tyrant and keep him from seeing his aunts, uncles etc. back east.

 

[Ohiogal]

Thank you to NotAnAttorney - I'm not sure what the form was called or if the mother signed it or not. I will check into it. I have contacted a local DNA testing lab following SilverPlum's advice. It IS important to establish paternity in this case from a legal standpoint. I'm not sure if the form I signed is considered legal proof or not in Colorado so I will have to check that out also. In the meantime, assuming that I AM the biological father, what can I do to ensure that IF I agree to her taking my son on this trip that she will bring him back. After the stunt she pulled last time, you can understand my concern. At the same time I do not want to be a tyrant and keep him from seeing his aunts, uncles etc. back east.

You better make sure it is a court ORDERED paternity test. You need to go through the courts or it will not be accepted. So back up. And file to establish paternity with the courts.

 

[mushroom44]

The folowing was taken directly from the Colorado Child Support Enforcement web page:"To establish paternity a judge or other official may enter a court order or the local county Child Support Enforcement (CSE) Unit may establish paternity without going to court. Also, an Acknowledgment of Paternity may be signed by both parents at the hospital when the child is born or anytime thereafter." So , If the form I signed at the time of his birth Acknowledging Paternity and was also signed by the mother, am I covered from a legal stand point? If so, I still need to figure out how to compel her to bring him back if I allow him to go in the first place. I can't thank you all enough for the advice and support shown on this forum - I was very fortunate to find it. This situation has overwhelmed me and have not been able to think clearly about it. Thank you all.

 

[Ohiogal]

The folowing was taken directly from the Colorado Child Support Enforcement web page:"To establish paternity a judge or other official may enter a court order or the local county Child Support Enforcement (CSE) Unit may establish paternity without going to court. Also, an Acknowledgment of Paternity may be signed by both parents at the hospital when the child is born or anytime thereafter." So , If the form I signed at the time of his birth Acknowledging Paternity and was also signed by the mother, am I covered from a legal stand point? If so, I still need to figure out how to compel her to bring him back if I allow him to go in the first place. I can't thank you all enough for the advice and support shown on this forum - I was very fortunate to find it. This situation has overwhelmed me and have not been able to think clearly about it. Thank you all.

Petition for joint legal and physical custody and use the paper you signed (which using IF it was that doesn't help) as proof. If you don't have standing state that you wish the court to order a paternity test.

 

[LdiJ]

The folowing was taken directly from the Colorado Child Support Enforcement web page:"To establish paternity a judge or other official may enter a court order or the local county Child Support Enforcement (CSE) Unit may establish paternity without going to court. Also, an Acknowledgment of Paternity may be signed by both parents at the hospital when the child is born or anytime thereafter." So , If the form I signed at the time of his birth Acknowledging Paternity and was also signed by the mother, am I covered from a legal stand point? If so, I still need to figure out how to compel her to bring him back if I allow him to go in the first place. I can't thank you all enough for the advice and support shown on this forum - I was very fortunate to find it. This situation has overwhelmed me and have not been able to think clearly about it. Thank you all.

At this point you don't have grounds to stop her from taking the child with her since she is just going on a trip. If she doesn't come back within a reasonable amount of time then you would have grounds to ask the judge to force her to bring the child back.

 

[mushroom44]

Ah yes - innocent untill proven guilty. This is also true in this case. On the surface it appears as an innocent trip to visit relatives. A reasonable request. What bothers me about it is like Dr. Phil says "The best predictor of future behavior is past performance" The last time she went for a visit, it turned into nine months of hell for me to get her to bring my son back to Colorado and I'm just trying to be prepared if she decides to pull the same stunt. Once bit - twice shy.