Mother Telling Sister to Stop Contact With Brother?

[Unknown1776]

My biological father and his 2nd wife are going through a divorce, they having two children between each other. His wife just sent me a no contact certified letter (not notarized) written up by her telling me to "cease and desist" all contact with my little brother and if this "isnt followed, legal action will be taken." Can she do this? I live in Pennsylvania.

 

[stealth2]

Is this her child from a previous relationship, or her child with your father?

 

[Unknown1776]

Its her child from my father. We're half-siblings.

 

[stealth2]

She can certainly stop you from having contact with the boy when she has custody of him. You can see him when Dad has him. Assuming Dad is on board.

 

[Unknown1776]

But when he is at his grandparents' house (the fathers parents), she says I am not allowed to give him any gifts or have any type of 3rd party communication between them. Is that possible?

 

[Antigone*]

But when he is at his grandparents' house (the fathers parents), she says I am not allowed to give him any gifts or have any type of 3rd party communication between them. Is that possible?

I would not give him any gifts at this point. I would also limit my contact to times when he is with dad or during dad's parenting time.

She cannot control what happens during dad's parenting time. But I ask you this: Why hasn't dad stepped up and told her to back off?

 

[Unknown1776]

Because they're going through a messy divorce at the moment. He still has visitation rights with the son, but she refuses to send him with his father and so the father hasnt seen his son for over a year and a half (the last time the son has been seen or even sent with his father was Sept/Oct of 09).

 

[Antigone*]

Because they're going through a messy divorce at the moment. He still has visitation rights with the son, but she refuses to send him with his father and so the father hasnt seen his son for over a year and a half (the last time the son has been seen or even sent with his father was Sept/Oct of 09).

So then when is the child at his grandparent's home???

 

[Unknown1776]

About every other Friday for dinner. His father wrote him and his sister that whatever it was he did (that the son doesn't want to see him for), that the son shouldn't take it out on the grandparents.

 

[stealth2]

Because they're going through a messy divorce at the moment. He still has visitation rights with the son, but she refuses to send him with his father and so the father hasnt seen his son for over a year and a half (the last time the son has been seen or even sent with his father was Sept/Oct of 09).

So your Dad's a wuss and doesn't really care about his son. Nice.

 

[Unknown1776]

No, he cares alot, thats why he's been paying thousands of dollars to try to get his visitations enforced by the courts, but the courts wont enforce it although per the custody order, the son has to go with his father every other weekend along with wednesdays and 1/2 holidays. But when he takes the wife into court for contempt of the custody agreement, the court always slaps her on the wrist and tells her not to do it again. PA is very pro-woman state when it comes to child custody and care. So he pays his child support for both children but doesnt get to see either one.

 

[stealth2]

Bull on PA being pro-woman. Really.

As for your Dad - does he actually TRY to pick up his kids? He should have no problem picking them up from his parents as they have no inherent rights. Unless, of course, there is something you're not telling us, and it would seem there is.

You, however, have no right to see your half brother.

 

[Antigone*]

About every other Friday for dinner. His father wrote him and his sister that whatever it was he did (that the son doesn't want to see him for), that the son shouldn't take it out on the grandparents.

So kids are with grandparents every other weekend and DAD doesn't bother to come see his kids. Great Dad.

I'm sure there is a lot of back story to this and now I'm even beginning to think that mom has reason not to want you to contact her children.

 

[Unknown1776]

Dad wants to, but the wife has the children so brain-washed with "your dad stole $16,000 from your college funds" and yet she's posting online (that its $30,000) that she has the proof and that charges were filed (10 months ago she posted this) and yet no charges were ever brought to the fathers attention nor are any of these "proof documents" are within the divorce paperwork.

 

[MichaCA]

It is not uncommon, actually its probably the norm, for parents to come up with all kinds of accusations - many petty - during a divorce.

Follow Stealths advice...or your dad should come on here to get advice...he needs to be actively getting in his car and going to pick up the kids on his court ordered time. If mom refuses to let the kids go...he needs to call the local police simply to have them write it up (not to get involved), so that there is documentation.

Has he been doing this? He can't just sit on the couch and say "I know she won't let me see them, so I'm not going" and then go to court and file for contempt. Next time he's in court, he should request makeup time.

He needs to ignore mom's accusations. It only puts the children in the middle. Here I am involving you...poor you...but this is a good example of how adults can get quite messy when splitting up/divorcing and there are kids involved. I learned my lesson the hard way...when you pick your man to have a child with, pick one that you know will always do the kind thing towards the family should it come to divorce. (not in the anticipation of a divorce, I have just found when I do that it knocks a few men off the radar)