Mother violated relocation restriction, now what?

[stealth2]

my 11 year old daughter

putting my son

Now I'm confused - daughter or son?

 

[stealth2]

Just because she's required to give me 60 day notice and didn't, why do I have to uproot my finances and pay an attorney now

You were the one who posted, asking what to do since she moved further than the 55-mile stipulation and didn't provide notice. You can file contempt is the answer. Or you can sit and spin to see what she does eventually (and at that point, you won't have a leg wrt the move since you didn't object when it happened).

if I can just ask that she be in contempt when she tries to put him into school out there in a couple years?

No idea, since we don't know what your order actually states, or if you have sole legal custody or joint. So, I'd be talking with a local lawyer. But your choice.

 

[bcr229]

Does your custody order say anything about pick up/drop off and who does the travelling? I would ask that since Mom moved away that she be responsible for all driving to/from the exchanges now.

 

[reddsman14]

I'm curious...

Why wouldn't you want your child to go to the best school possible?

There is ALWAYS a better school. Isn't it important to coparent and not cut out the other parent? Is it fair that an ex violate a court order just to get the school advantage? I have excellent magnet schools I can send my child to here that are better than her school....HOWEVER I need her help on getting our child to the school

 

[stealth2]

There is ALWAYS a better school. Isn't it important to coparent and not cut out the other parent? Is it fair that an ex violate a court order just to get the school advantage? I have excellent magnet schools I can send my child to here that are better than her school....HOWEVER I need her help on getting our child to the school

Before or after the move? Of course, you enrolling the child could spur a custody modification as it’s a change in circumstance, I believe.

 

[reddsman14]

I also wouldn't breathe a word of wanting to send him to a brick-and-mortar school at this point.

Thank you so much for the responses. So actually my friend thinks she needs to be in a brick-and-mortar school next year since she's not adjusted real well to online school. I was considering putting her back in brick-and-mortar school next year, but of course the mother likely won't like that idea. Why do you suggest not breathing a word about a brick-and-mortar school at this point? How could that backfire? I'm just trying to do the best thing for my child, which has gotten very complicated

 

[cbg]

The best I am able to get from your posts is that you are looking for some way that you can get some kind of legal guarantee that at the time you decide you want your child in a brick-and-mortar school, it will be the school of your choice. You're not really all that concerned that your ex wife has/is going to move; you're worried that the move will mean that your ex will choose the school instead of you. But you don't want to take action now - you want to take any action when/if the child is enrolled. And you want to be sure you're the one who chooses the time of enrollment as well as which school.

Have I got it right?

 

[stealth2]

Thank you so much for the responses. So actually my friend thinks she needs to be in a brick-and-mortar school next year since she's not adjusted real well to online school. I was considering putting her back in brick-and-mortar school next year, but of course the mother likely won't like that idea. Why do you suggest not breathing a word about a brick-and-mortar school at this point? How could that backfire? I'm just trying to do the best thing for my child, which has gotten very complicated

Because right *now* you share 50/50 custody, which will apparently be doable even with Mom living an hour away. As soon as you open that door to brick-and-mortar, you open up the possibility of a change in circumstance wrt the child - a custody modification. Brick-and-mortar won't be as easy with the distance, and (IMO) you and Mom are pretty even in terms of the timeshare. Given we don't know what your orders say (there's a reason why I've mentioned legal - decision making - custody a few times. Does your order give you the right to choose where your daughter (?) attends school?), your odds of prevailing are 50/50.

If you keep your current focus *now* on her not notifying you of the move beyond 50 miles (and really - the court isn't likely to care about those 5 miles) and holding her accountable for all transportation due to her move, you have a greater possibility of creating a status quo where your timeshare increases above 50%, when she doesn't want to necessarily drive an hour+ twice a week (or more, depending on how you split the time) for whatever reason.

And, I have to ask. This friend who is encouraging you to enroll your child in a brick-and-mortar school... are they perchance female? A past/present/future love interest? Tread very lightly there. Little makes a momma bear emerge than the thought of another woman influencing decisions regarding her child. Just be careful - better to keep it as your/the child's idea.

ETA: It just clicked that you are looking to enroll the child for next (2023-24) year. What does your summer schedule look like?

 

[reddsman14]

Have I got it right?

I don't have to be the sole one to choose the school, but it should NOT be the school for her new faraway area that she moved without notice, because then I'll be completely cut out during the week. She didn't have to move so far away. I'm in Nashville which has a lot of schools for both to choose from and she's now in a tiny little town out in the sticks

 

[stealth2]

I don't have to be the sole one to choose the school, but it should NOT be the school for her new faraway area that she moved without notice, because then I'll be completely cut out during the week. She didn't have to move so far away. I'm in Nashville which has a lot of schools for both to choose from and she's now in a tiny little town out in the sticks

But you're essentially saying that she should be the one cut out.

Again - do you have joint *legal* custody and/or do your orders give you the right to choose the child's school? That's important information that we're missing.

 

[reddsman14]

But you're essentially saying that she should be the one cut out.

Again - do you have joint *legal* custody and/or do your orders give you the right to choose the child's school? That's important information that we're missing.

We've coparented for years and she made the decision to move away in violation of required notice, so if someone has to be cut out, who should it be? I have been keeping my child 4-5 nights a week up till now.

She might make the case that it's her "turn" although she's had her turn all alone but my child stayed with me out of her own choice

The parenting plan says school decisions are shared between both of us

 

[cbg]

So if she had honored the 60 day notice and/or the 50 mile restriction, you'd be okay with the brick and mortar school being the one she chooses?

 

[stealth2]

We've coparented for years and she made the decision to move away in violation of required notice, so if someone has to be cut out, who should it be? I have been keeping my child 4-5 nights a week up till now.

She might make the case that it's her "turn" although she's had her turn all alone but my child stayed with me out of her own choice

The parenting plan says school decisions are shared between both of us

So... the following is NOT correct:

I would automatically get all the parenting time I want anyway by putting my son in a public school one day, which I have the right to.

You do not, apparently, have the right to choose where this child goes to school (I'm still confused whether it's a son or a daughter, not that it really matters...). So, you will have to go back to court if the two of you can't agree (and "it's not fair" is not a legal argument). Given that you have the child four-five nights out of seven, you have more than 50% of the time, but I'd expect Mom to start taking her full 50%, reducing your advantage.

I seriously suggest you consult with a lawyer sooner rather than later.

 

[cbg]

FYI, I'm not trying to give you a hard time. I'm honestly confused as to what the real issue is here.

 

[reddsman14]

So if she had honored the 60 day notice and/or the 50 mile restriction, you'd be okay with the brick and mortar school being the one she chooses?

No, not if it's a school an hour away. abiding by 60 day notice would've given me the chance to either remind her directly or thru the court, that we are supposed to be 50/50 and she might have to pay child support if she moves. In which case, I'd expect her to tighten up on her radius of available houses and stay closer.

But obviously since she didn't give required noticed, now her house purchase can't be undone