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My ex does not want our daughter to visit his mother

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HRZ

Senior Member
#17
UNless the order addresses that parent be able to contact child when it's not thier parenting time ..the NO there is not some requirement that Dad be able to contact child while on Mom s time block via GM or the tooth fairy ...but I think it takes most of the hot air out of Dads point IF the child does have a cell phone that he might access .
 
#18
I read the agreement and it states

"Both parents retain joint responsibility for the care and control of (child's name), and joint authority to make decisions concerning them"

To me this means that if he does not want her there without being able to contact her when he wants then I have to listen to his demand. I'm not an unreasonable person and I am more than happy to work this out with both of them. I know it would be very upsetting to my daughter if she couldn't see her grandmother but I suppose if she wants to continue seeing her granddaughter then she will have to work something out with her son.
 
#19
UNless the order addresses that parent be able to contact child when it's not thier parenting time ..the NO there is not some requirement that Dad be able to contact child while on Mom s time block via GM or the tooth fairy ...but I think it takes most of the hot air out of Dads point IF the child does have a cell phone that he might access .

It does not address contact while child is with the other parent. I do think her having a phone is a good idea.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
#21
Is a playdate childcare? If another adult is minding you kid, thats childcare. Take a village (maybe you one of those who get in a lather over that)

Are Brownies or Cubs childcare? If you the parent are not involved and it frees you to do something else... yes.

How about Tball or soccer? Same thing

Can't it just be time w/family? Then mom should be there.

Is thread derailment childcare?
I am sorry but I agree with Stealth. Your reaction to this thread is over the top. I do not agree that what dad is asking is reasonable. There are ways to make sure that dad can communicate with his child (one of which the OP is already doing) rather than dad using his child to force his mother to communicate with him.

If dad were here, we would be telling him that there is nothing he can do...that mom is free to let grandma see the child on her time. Also, mom's description of grandma is about as far from toxic as it gets.

I also totally disagree with you that every time another adult is minding the child, that its childcare.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
#22
I read the agreement and it states

"Both parents retain joint responsibility for the care and control of (child's name), and joint authority to make decisions concerning them"

To me this means that if he does not want her there without being able to contact her when he wants then I have to listen to his demand
. I'm not an unreasonable person and I am more than happy to work this out with both of them. I know it would be very upsetting to my daughter if she couldn't see her grandmother but I suppose if she wants to continue seeing her granddaughter then she will have to work something out with her son.
Nope, that is not what it means. If it meant that, a super controlling ex could use it to totally control the other parent. What that means is that each parent is entitled to make ordinary decisions that effect only their time, on their time, and that decisions that impact both parent's time, or that are major health or educational decisions must be made jointly.

If dad were here we would be telling him that he cannot stop you from allowing the child to spend time with grandma during your parenting time.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
#23
Nope, that is not what it means. If it meant that, a super controlling ex could use it to totally control the other parent. What that means is that each parent is entitled to make ordinary decisions that effect only their time, on their time, and that decisions that impact both parent's time, or that are major health or educational decisions must be made jointly.

If dad were here we would be telling him that he cannot stop you from allowing the child to spend time with grandma during your parenting time.
Do you really think revving this Mom up for an unnecessary court battle is the right thing to do?
 
#24
Nope, that is not what it means. If it meant that, a super controlling ex could use it to totally control the other parent. What that means is that each parent is entitled to make ordinary decisions that effect only their time, on their time, and that decisions that impact both parent's time, or that are major health or educational decisions must be made jointly.

If dad were here we would be telling him that he cannot stop you from allowing the child to spend time with grandma during your parenting time.

Good to know.
 

HRZ

Senior Member
#26
And while not asked ...when the child is Dad , the ITs not up to OP to make rules for Dads time .

IN the context of " neutrality " perhaps if the child had a basic cell phone that could be used by either parent to contact child while with the other ....but not for school or other uncontrolled uses prone to " kids."
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
#27
And while not asked ...when the child is Dad , the ITs not up to OP to make rules for Dads time .

IN the context of " neutrality " perhaps if the child had a basic cell phone that could be used by either parent to contact child while with the other ....but not for school or other uncontrolled uses prone to " kids."
That works, but the child is a tad young for that. The child is 5 years old. My daughter let my grandson play games on an old phone and he managed to break it in less than a month. Just dropping it can ruin it, if it hits the wrong way.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
#28
I could see a burner phone for when kiddo is w/grandma, but Mom hasn't said she has any trouble with contact while at Dad's, or that Dad has a problem reaching kiddo except when at his mother's. There really is no need for a 5yo to be regularly toting a cell phone around. IMO
 

FarmerJ

Senior Member
#29
You know a net based service like MJ or basic talk or net talk that can travel with for visits to paternal grand mothers and plugged into high speed internet would let him be able to call her while she is there with out having to call anyone elses phone number.
 
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