3-16-2002
DEAR REEBOK:
You are very smart to be concerned. The selfishly greedy behavior of these children is unbelievable--they should at least try to have a little bit more respect for you as their dad's wife. What they are saying is mostly untrue, since they are ignorant of probate law. Don't you make the same mistake.
Your husband is making a serious mistake by not having a will. In view of events like Sept. 11, think how many families were left in turmoil because no planning had been done in advance. Tell your husband that if he really loves you, he will protect your interests to make sure you are taken care of and that it will be much easier on the entire family if his wishes are formally recorded in writing so that things won't be messy and confusing at the time of his death when you all will also be grieving.
What would be the estimated value of your husband's estate? You need to visit the local office of a probate attorney and depending on how simple or how complicated your husband's assets are, the will could be done for a few hundred dollars.
As a spouse, you are entitled to certain property rights and monetary rights (however, I don't have the reference book with that information in front of me right now, so I can't tell you exactly what they are). There could even be a provision in the will that your husband could give you permission to stay in the home for your lifetime and then be turned over to your children after your death, or if you are owner you can do whatever you want to with it.
I love your husband's sense of humor--his comment about the mall is a classic that I will remember for a long time.
If I were you, I would not let the children know about the will after your husband has had it prepared (he should give it to you and perhaps 1 other person/his attorney or a safe deposit box for safekeeping and immediate access at his death). I would love to be there to see the rage on their faces when they find out that according to the terms of the will, things aren't going to work out the way THEY wanted it to, but that YOU will be in control because you planned in advance and got the trump card over on them! If they do happen to find out about it, at least there is nothing they can do about it and hopefully they will not persuade him to get another newer will prepared, or if he does at least tell him to let you know about it.
SINCERELY,
advisor