need ex wives bank statements

[Ladyback1]

I'm well aware of your feeble attempt to make a point.

Seriously, your name calling doesn't change the real point and that is, this OP can't go on with his life and you people are telling him tough! The system is cheating him and that is perfectly ok with you because that's the way you want it to be.

ummmm...the system is not cheating anyone! He chose not to deal with the house in the divorce. There is no way anyone divorcing should stay on the mortgage w/ their ex-spouse after the divorce. He screwed up (or his attorney screwed up)! This is not the system or the Ex "cheating" the system. OP should have dealt with the situation many years ago instead of taking the route he did. It IS his own fault.

Sure the OP can go on with his life, it just may not be the way he wants to. And again, that is because he did not deal with the situation when he should have.

 

[Bali Hai]

ummmm...the system is not cheating anyone! He chose not to deal with the house in the divorce. There is no way anyone divorcing should stay on the mortgage w/ their ex-spouse after the divorce. He screwed up (or his attorney screwed up)! This is not the system or the Ex "cheating" the system. OP should have dealt with the situation many years ago instead of taking the route he did. It IS his own fault.

Sure the OP can go on with his life, it just may not be the way he wants to. And again, that is because he did not deal with the situation when he should have.

The system (made up of people predominately like you) is cheating him.

That system cheated him and that system (that will take good care of you) says it's HIS fault.

When the system takes as good care of him as it does you, I'll shut up.

In the meantime, you have a wonderful evening.

 

[LdiJ]

The system (made up of people predominately like you) is cheating him.

That system cheated him and that system (that will take good care of you) says it's HIS fault.

When the system takes as good care of him as it does you, I'll shut up.

In the meantime, you have a wonderful evening.

Bali, you are being a little silly here. No judge would have required him to remain on the mortgage. Had he argued the situation properly at the time of the divorce then either his ex would have had to refinance the house or the judge would have ordered it sold.

Unfortunately for him it wasn't handled properly. That is not the system's fault, the judge's fault nor his ex-wife's fault. Its either his fault for trying to divorce without an attorney, or his attorney's fault...which ultimately makes it his fault as well.

However, none of that gives him any opportunity at all to force his ex-wife to give up her bank statements to satisfy the demands of a mortgage broker...nor does that indicate a flaw in the "system".

 

[Ladyback1]

The system (made up of people predominately like you) is cheating him.

That system cheated him and that system (that will take good care of you) says it's HIS fault.

When the system takes as good care of him as it does you, I'll shut up.

In the meantime, you have a wonderful evening.

because I'm female? Is that what you are implying?

It's not always the woman who gets everything, and the man gets the shaft. Sorry to burst your silly little bubble, but you are living in a fantasy land.

OP should have and could have dealt with this YEARS ago.

 

[Bali Hai]

Bali, you are being a little silly here. No judge would have required him to remain on the mortgage. Had he argued the situation properly at the time of the divorce then either his ex would have had to refinance the house or the judge would have ordered it sold.

Unfortunately for him it wasn't handled properly. That is not the system's fault, the judge's fault nor his ex-wife's fault. Its either his fault for trying to divorce without an attorney, or his attorney's fault...which ultimately makes it his fault as well.

However, none of that gives him any opportunity at all to force his ex-wife to give up her bank statements to satisfy the demands of a mortgage broker...nor does that indicate a flaw in the "system".

The system (all lawyers, all judges and all people part of that system) will bend over backwards to make sure the ex-wife is well taken care of. If that means the ex-husband takes a screwing, then so be it.

Good night.

 

[stealth2]

Problem is, those statements likely include a heck of a lot more than mortgage payments. Why should the ex also disclose what she pays for groceries, etc.? I'd refuse, too.

 

[justalayman]

The system (all lawyers, all judges and all people part of that system) will bend over backwards to make sure the ex-wife is well taken care of. If that means the ex-husband takes a screwing, then so be it.

Good night.

But isn't that why you got married in the first place? Now you get it and don't have to be married to her.

 

[RRevak]

Ok, this makes zero sense to me. Why is it that the potential mortgage company isn't able to communicate with the old mortgage company to check to see if the payments are current? Why can't OP request the information from the old mortgage company and turn it over to the potential mortgage company? Why am I getting the idea that there are other reasons OP wants the statements besides mortgage reasons seeing as there are much better ways of ensuring the payments are being made?

 

[LdiJ]

Ok, this makes zero sense to me. Why is it that the potential mortgage company isn't able to communicate with the old mortgage company to check to see if the payments are current? Why can't OP request the information from the old mortgage company and turn it over to the potential mortgage company? Why am I getting the idea that there are other reasons OP wants the statements besides mortgage reasons seeing as there are much better ways of ensuring the payments are being made?

Mortgage brokers are known for asking for all kinds of strange things when someone is applying for a mortgage and there is even the slightest hint that they might not qualify.

 

[RRevak]

Mortgage brokers are known for asking for all kinds of strange things when someone is applying for a mortgage and there is even the slightest hint that they might not qualify.

Asking OP to force his EX wife to turn over her bank statements seems HIGHLY inappropriate, esp when there are much easier (and more legal) ways of doing so. Like I said, either this company is incredibly shady or OP isn't being entirely honest with us.

 

[single317dad]

Ok, this makes zero sense to me. Why is it that the potential mortgage company isn't able to communicate with the old mortgage company to check to see if the payments are current? Why can't OP request the information from the old mortgage company and turn it over to the potential mortgage company? Why am I getting the idea that there are other reasons OP wants the statements besides mortgage reasons seeing as there are much better ways of ensuring the payments are being made?

The underwriters of the new mortgage will want to know that OP isn't paying the old mortgage. If he typically pays the old mortgage, his debt to income ratio will skyrocket, probably beyond any amount that could possibly qualify for this mortgage. What they're asking for is proof that someone else is typically paying the old mortgage. Not to say that fact alone absolves OP from any responsibility regarding the mortgage on the house his ex-wife lives in: he could very easily find himself paying for both houses, or bankrupt because he can't afford either. It's quite a mess he's gotten himself in, which would be compounded by adding another mortgage and/or the ex-wife failing to pay the previous mortgage. That's why underwriters ask for things like this. A reasonable person would be willing to provide that proof to the OP, but apparently one or both parties is not reasonable.

 

[RRevak]

The underwriters of the new mortgage will want to know that OP isn't paying the old mortgage. If he typically pays the old mortgage, his debt to income ratio will skyrocket, probably beyond any amount that could possibly qualify for this mortgage. What they're asking for is proof that someone else is typically paying the old mortgage. Not to say that fact alone absolves OP from any responsibility regarding the mortgage on the house his ex-wife lives in: he could very easily find himself paying for both houses, or bankrupt because he can't afford either. It's quite a mess he's gotten himself in, which would be compounded by adding another mortgage and/or the ex-wife failing to pay the previous mortgage. That's why underwriters ask for things like this. A reasonable person would be willing to provide that proof to the OP, but apparently one or both parties is not reasonable.

If my ex asked for my bank statements so he could buy a new house, i'd tell him we have plenty of sandy beaches in which he may begin pounding. There has to be another way other than asking to violate the privacy of his ex wife.

 

[stealth2]

Ditto, RRevak. All the new lender needs to know is that the ex has been paying the mortgage regularly. None of their business what else she spends her money on.

 

[Proserpina]

Are they looking for proof that he is or is not paying as ordered?

(I'm recalling something about child support and mortgage qualifications)

 

[Bali Hai]

The underwriters of the new mortgage will want to know that OP isn't paying the old mortgage. If he typically pays the old mortgage, his debt to income ratio will skyrocket, probably beyond any amount that could possibly qualify for this mortgage. What they're asking for is proof that someone else is typically paying the old mortgage. Not to say that fact alone absolves OP from any responsibility regarding the mortgage on the house his ex-wife lives in: he could very easily find himself paying for both houses, or bankrupt because he can't afford either. It's quite a mess he's gotten himself in, which would be compounded by adding another mortgage and/or the ex-wife failing to pay the previous mortgage. That's why underwriters ask for things like this. A reasonable person would be willing to provide that proof to the OP, but apparently one or both parties is not reasonable.

If I were the lender, I wouldn't lend OP the money whether she was current on the payments or not. There is a risk that he might be legally obligated to pay his ex's mortgage as well as his new mortgage sometime in the future.

I agree with everything you said except for "it's quite a mess he's gotten himself in".

Let me give you a real life example that i've given here before. I know a couple who were amicably divorcing. Both spouses had good jobs and worked at the same place I do. The wife did not want any of the husbands retirement funds. When the judge (the same old fart I had) reviewed their settlement agreement, he rejected it and told both parties that the husbands retirement account must be divided because she' is entitled to it. The wife held fast that she did not want any of the husbands retirement account and after months of delay, the judge finally relented and granted the divorce.

If OP's judge were looking out for him the way the judge did the wife in my example, OP would not be here asking why he's getting screwed over.

Hopefully OP has not executed a quit claim deed to his ex-wife, but I'm certain OP's judge didn't overlook that detail.