Need Help Please

[Frustrated_one]

Wow! The last two posters were extremely rude.

Now how the hell can YOU make such a biased statement about people not breeding if they can't support their children. Since when is it only 1 parent that has a child! OP does need to get a J-O-B but people like me that work, pay taxes since I was 16 because I worked back then, and go to school are not looking for a handout from the system.

Why don't you spend such fervor on the parents that truly don't financially support their kids?! It's because of them that yours and my tax money has been offered to assist their children.

What about stay at home moms? I guess you think they are worthless because they take care of the home and the husband worked. You know for years that was the traditional family and some people still uphold those roles with large family's. It doesn't mean a person doesn't have to work when a divorce or seperation occurs but your view of HOW people ended up needed assistance is very narrow.

I can see where riding a high horse would cause that though.

** Oh yeah, forgot to add. My TANF assistance, going to school and working self actually has a degree. Too bad it means very little now since the 9/11 and .com sinker occured.

 

[Hypocritical]

If she wasn't mature enough to support herself from the beginning, then she should not be breeding at my expense.

Hey. Saddam called. He wants his bigot attitude back.

 

[stealth2]

Frustrated_one - please stop hijacking OP's thread. This is not about the specifics of your situation. If you want to discuss it in detail - start your own thread.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Hey. Saddam called. He wants his bigot attitude back.

Saddam doesn't have a phone anymore.

Psst. Far from a bigot forum troll.

 

[CJane]

We tend here to ridicule both mothers and fathers who are on state assistance, or who are going to school on assistance and not working to support their children.

I agree. And I KNOW that sometimes welfare is a necessary evil... my family was on it for a period when I was a kid even though mom and my step-dad were both working full-time. I may be on it soon so that I can finish my degree and end up with a better paying job that won't have me living quite so paycheck to paycheck. I've whittled my expenses down to just over $800/month (including rent and my car payment) so that if I go bak to school, and IF child support is paid, I can survive with only minimal assistance.

HOWEVER, even though I get it that sometimes welfare is a better choice than the alternatives... I don't think it's unfair to ask WHY someone is on assistance, or what they're doing to better themselves so that it IS temporary. I have noticed that there are a lot of people on the boards and in 'real' life who ARE cheating the system and have no intention of ever not being in the system.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Wow! The last two posters were extremely rude.

Now how the hell can YOU make such a biased statement about people not breeding if they can't support their children. Since when is it only 1 parent that has a child! OP does need to get a J-O-B but people like me that work, pay taxes since I was 16 because I worked back then, and go to school are not looking for a handout from the system.

Why don't you spend such fervor on the parents that truly don't financially support their kids?! but I do have a l It's because of them that yours and my tax money has been offered to assist their children.
What about stay at home moms? I guess you think they are worthless because they take care of the home and the husband worked. You know for years that was the traditional family and some people still uphold those roles with large family's. It doesn't mean a person doesn't have to work when a divorce or seperation occurs but your view of HOW people ended up needed assistance is very narrow.

I can see where riding a high horse would cause that though.

** Oh yeah, forgot to add. My TANF assistance, going to school and working self actually has a degree. Too bad it means very little now since the 9/11 and .com sinker occured.

 

[JThomas]

Can Child Support Enforcement give my address and phone number to my ex?
When I asked about where the fathers were in a post, I was talking about the 2 moms who were owed back child support. How can a father get visitation when he doesn't pay child support?

 

[JThomas]

If you recieve TANF, it is a debt owed to the state. You do not pay it back directly but it is deducted from child support payments made by your ex. In some states, you recieve a disregard payment up to $50 each month support is paid.

Your local child support or county family services should be able to tell you more about the disregard payment amount.

Am I obligated to let my ex know that I have applied or does the state let him know?

 

[tigger22472]

. How can a father get visitation when he doesn't pay child support?

they are separate issues in the law. The idea behind it is if a person truly cannot pay support that is no reason to stop a relationship with the child. Even those that refuse to pay apply here because in the end it is the child who pays for not having a relationship.

One should never EVER depend on child support, even when it comes in steady. You never know when something could happen that prevents the NCP to pay.

 

[ceara19]

Can Child Support Enforcement give my address and phone number to my ex?
When I asked about where the fathers were in a post, I was talking about the 2 moms who were owed back child support. How can a father get visitation when he doesn't pay child support?

They can't DIRECTLY give him the information. But, he WILL end up getting it when CSE mails the necessary paperwork and court documents that go along with collecting and paying child support. There is nothing you can do to keep the information from him without a court order, which you won't get because (1) it costs MONEY, which, if you had any, I wouldn't be supporting you and (2) you have no REASON for a judge to agree to keep the info from him.

Plus, he doesn't NEED your address in order to get custody of his child. You left the state without proper notification. He may already have legal custody for all you know.

Visitation has NOTHING at all to do with child support.

 

[ceara19]

We tend here to ridicule both mothers and fathers who are on state assistance, or who are going to school on assistance and not working to support their children.

As far as the OP is concerned, she absconded with the child, giving the father no information. If she can't afford to take care of the child on her OWN, she should have left the kid with dad while she got her life together.

Her ONLY reason for not wanting dad around is because he cheated on HER and she's pissed. It has nothing to do with the child's safety or the dad's ability to be a good parent.

There are SOME people who honestly need short term assistance for VALID reasons. The OP is not one of them. She could have gone to school or gotten some kind of job training while she was living off the NEW BF and dad was paying child support. She CHOSE not to. She CHOSE to continue her parasitic lifestyle. If she could find someone else to support her, instead of taking the initiative herself, I'm sure she'd jump on the chance.

 

[GrowUp!]

Wow! The last two posters were extremely rude.

Who gives a sh*t? When were you appointed Captain of the Politically Correct Police Dept.?

Now how the hell can YOU make such a biased statement about people not breeding if they can't support their children.

Because there are waaayyyy too many people who pop out kids like it's a job and expect everyone else except for themselves, to support them. The OP is no different. I am reading the OP's responses and the only thing I can think of (after the trailer) is that she is clearly retarded.

Since when is it only 1 parent that has a child! OP does need to get a J-O-B but people like me that work, pay taxes since I was 16 because I worked back then, and go to school are not looking for a handout from the system.

And this is not YOUR thread.

Why don't you spend such fervor on the parents that truly don't financially support their kids?! It's because of them that yours and my tax money has been offered to assist their children.

You mean people like the OP?

{quote]What about stay at home moms? I guess you think they are worthless because they take care of the home and the husband worked. You know for years that was the traditional family and some people still uphold those roles with large family's. It doesn't mean a person doesn't have to work when a divorce or seperation occurs but your view of HOW people ended up needed assistance is very narrow.[/quote]
Hey check your calendar Ward Cleaver. It's not 1956. Nothing is wrong with being a SAHM. As long as that SAHM is willing to have an income imputed that is NOT minimum wage. Fair is fair.

 

[ceara19]

{quote]What about stay at home moms? I guess you think they are worthless because they take care of the home and the husband worked. You know for years that was the traditional family and some people still uphold those roles with large family's. It doesn't mean a person doesn't have to work when a divorce or seperation occurs but your view of HOW people ended up needed assistance is very narrow.

Hey check your calendar Ward Cleaver. It's not 1956. Nothing is wrong with being a SAHM. As long as that SAHM is willing to have an income imputed that is NOT minimum wage. Fair is fair.[/QUOTE]

There is also the fact that the OP was a SAHM while she was living with a man that was NOT the father of the child. "Mom" was relying on a man that she was NOT married to and child support to TOTALLY support her and her children. That is NOT the same as being a SAHM while living with the FATHER of your child[ren] and then splitting up and needing some help getting set up to take care of your children w/o assistance.

The OP decided she would rather just find someone else to mooch off of instead of taking that opportunity to get her sh*t together so that she COULD get a descent job. Like I said earlier, if the OP were presented with the OPTION of getting a JOB and working hard to support herself and child OR being able to continue to live off of the work of other's, I have no doubt which she would choose.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Can Child Support Enforcement give my address and phone number to my ex?
When I asked about where the fathers were in a post, I was talking about the 2 moms who were owed back child support. How can a father get visitation when he doesn't pay child support?

Because it is a law. Try looking it up when you are done acting retarded.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

I agree. And I KNOW that sometimes welfare is a necessary evil... my family was on it for a period when I was a kid even though mom and my step-dad were both working full-time. I may be on it soon so that I can finish my degree and end up with a better paying job that won't have me living quite so paycheck to paycheck. I've whittled my expenses down to just over $800/month (including rent and my car payment) so that if I go bak to school, and IF child support is paid, I can survive with only minimal assistance.

HOWEVER, even though I get it that sometimes welfare is a better choice than the alternatives... I don't think it's unfair to ask WHY someone is on assistance, or what they're doing to better themselves so that it IS temporary. I have noticed that there are a lot of people on the boards and in 'real' life who ARE cheating the system and have no intention of ever not being in the system.

I have noticed in real life, that alot of welfare mommies never get a job, but they get more babies.