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Need help to make sure my son doesn’t get taken.

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Mick2019

New member
Hello everyone I’m from Illinois. I been with my Fiancé’ the mother of my child for a while now. Our son was in the nicu for 2 and half month. He is now 6 months old. She has been a mental mess since the birth. We were given the Acknowledgment of paternity paper to fill out when he was born. She wanted to sign it at home. Now she 6 months later she still refuses to sign it even though her health is bad and been in and out of the hospital last few months. Our son needs to see doctors and I can’t do much since I’m not on birth certificate. I’ve tried to get her to sign it or allow me to get a dna test done but refuses. She been in the hospital last 2 weeks with start of heart failure. Still refuses to sign it, allow our son to get dna test and threaten to leave the country if I was to get a court ordered dna test done. Since I have no legal rights to my son atm if anything was to happen to her and no legal papers on who gets our son if she passes. He would go to her parents. I been taking care of him since day one. My family only ones he knows. I just need some advice on a route to take because I’m freaking out that my son will be ripped from my arms if she passes.
Thank you!!
 

livinmybestlife

Active Member
You can get a court to order a DNA test without her permission. And you DEFINITELY should get a DNA test done, whether she signs the paper or not. Her behavior is suspicious and the reason she could be refusing to sign is because she knows the child isn't yours. I am not saying this is the case, but it could be.

Does the child have a passport?
 

Mick2019

New member
You can get a court to order a DNA test without her permission. And you DEFINITELY should get a DNA test done, whether she signs the paper or not. Her behavior is suspicious and the reason she could be refusing to sign is because she knows the child isn't yours. I am not saying this is the case, but it could be.

Does the child have a passport?
Not to my knowledge she doesn’t have a passport for him. However she has threatened to leave the country if she gets summoned to do court ordered dna test. However we live together and I been taking care of our son majority of the time since he came home from the nicu. I’m just afraid she get summoned and not show up. I come home from work they are both gone.
 

quincy

Senior Member
Not to my knowledge she doesn’t have a passport for him. However she has threatened to leave the country if she gets summoned to do court ordered dna test. However we live together and I been taking care of our son majority of the time since he came home from the nicu. I’m just afraid she get summoned and not show up. I come home from work they are both gone.
Neither your fiancee nor your son sound to be in any condition to travel. I agree with livinmybestlife that you should get a paternity test.

https://www.illinois.gov/hfs/ChildSupport/FormsBrochures/Pages/hfs3282.aspx
Do you fear what a paternity test might show?
 
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Mick2019

New member
Neither your fiancee nor your son sound to be in any condition to travel. I agree with livinmybestlife that you should get a paternity test.

https://www.illinois.gov/hfs/ChildSupport/FormsBrochures/Pages/hfs3282.aspx
Do you fear what a paternity test might show?
No I’m not afraid of that. I took a at home test and date of conception goes back to when we were on vacation. So 99.9% sure he is mine. It’s more of a mental thing of control. One thing in her life she can control and using it to her advantage. Instead of looking out for our sons best interest. I believe the birth was traumatic and she already suffers from mental illness. Anyone know if I can do a legal dna test without going to court and her being there? If she signed a consent form to have it done. Could I take my son to a dna place and have a legal test done without her being present? We had a great relationship until the birth. Just trying to do this is a civil way but also keep my son safe. He is the most important concern here. Thank you for answering me so far. This type of stuff is confusing. Been in the military and nothing more stressful this a situatuon like this.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
No I’m not afraid of that. I took a at home test and date of conception goes back to when we were on vacation. So 99.9% sure he is mine. It’s more of a mental thing of control. One thing in her life she can control and using it to her advantage. Instead of looking out for our sons best interest. I believe the birth was traumatic and she already suffers from mental illness. Anyone know if I can do a legal dna test without going to court and her being there? If she signed a consent form to have it done. Could I take my son to a dna place and have a legal test done without her being present? We had a great relationship until the birth. Just trying to do this is a civil way but also keep my son safe. He is the most important concern here. Thank you for answering me so far. This type of stuff is confusing. Been in the military and nothing more stressful this a situatuon like this.
Get a lawyer on board. That will help reduce the stress of the situation.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Anyone know if I can do a legal dna test without going to court and her being there?
No - the only DNA test the court would recognize is a court-ordered test with proper chain of custody.
She doesn't have to be there for the court to order it.
 

286CSO

Member
Hello everyone I’m from Illinois. I been with my Fiancé’ the mother of my child for a while now. Our son was in the nicu for 2 and half month. He is now 6 months old. She has been a mental mess since the birth. We were given the Acknowledgment of paternity paper to fill out when he was born. She wanted to sign it at home. Now she 6 months later she still refuses to sign it even though her health is bad and been in and out of the hospital last few months. Our son needs to see doctors and I can’t do much since I’m not on birth certificate. I’ve tried to get her to sign it or allow me to get a dna test done but refuses. She been in the hospital last 2 weeks with start of heart failure. Still refuses to sign it, allow our son to get dna test and threaten to leave the country if I was to get a court ordered dna test done. Since I have no legal rights to my son atm if anything was to happen to her and no legal papers on who gets our son if she passes. He would go to her parents. I been taking care of him since day one. My family only ones he knows. I just need some advice on a route to take because I’m freaking out that my son will be ripped from my arms if she passes.
Thank you!!
Well, stop and take a breath.

1. She is within her rights to refuse to sign the AOP. You can’t force her. So, what you need to do, is file to establish paternity and some form of legal custody.
2. If she is experiencing significant cardiac issues, then you might want to step on it, and ignore her statements about leaving the country. They are most likely empty threats, and you could request that the court order child not to be removed from the court’s jurisdiction.
3. Establishing custody would the have you in a legal position to fully receive child should mom pass. Barring that, you’re going to have to take all the above steps anyway if the haven’t been done and she passes away in the near future.
 

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