Need to get ex’s death certificate

[JEA0409]

What is the name of your state? I live in IL, ex moved to MS in 2000, and passed away in 2022

our prior mortgage co from 10+ yrs ago sent a letter addressed to my deceased ex regarding an uncashed remediation check sent in July. The letter was sent to my home address in IL, but upon opening it I saw the letter itself was addressed to both of us at my ex’s MS address. Upon calling the mortgage company they said the check was payable to both of us since we were both listed on the mortgage loan, but it was sent to my ex‘s Mississippi address where he resided with his mother. When I explained my ex passed away in 2022 the mortgage company told me to get a copy of his death certificate and send it to them with a request that the check be reissued payable to him OR me and sent to my address in IL. For background, we split in 2000, the house was awarded to me, which is recorded in our divorce decree. I’ve paid the mortgage since 2000 - he was paying child support Only and did not contribute to any mortgage payments.

According to the MS vital records website it appears as the “ex“ spouse I don’t have the right to request his death certificate. And if I can request it I honestly don’t remember his exact birthdate nor do I have his social security number, which is requested information. We did not part on good terms - he was an alcoholic and after he moved out of state he didn’t make an effort to stay in touch with his kids. His mother blamed me for everything that went wrong so it’s not as easy as just asking her for a copy of the death certificate, plus she’s an elderly woman and I don’t want to bother her with this. I could have our son or daughter request it (both are adults), but how do we go about it without is dob & social?

any ideas how to go about this? Thanks

 

[not2cleverRed]

any ideas how to go about this? Thanks

You can get one of your kids to make the request, if they're legal adults.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? I live in IL, ex moved to MS in 2000, and passed away in 2022

our prior mortgage co from 10+ yrs ago sent a letter addressed to my deceased ex regarding an uncashed remediation check sent in July. The letter was sent to my home address in IL, but upon opening it I saw the letter itself was addressed to both of us at my ex’s MS address. Upon calling the mortgage company they said the check was payable to both of us since we were both listed on the mortgage loan, but it was sent to my ex‘s Mississippi address where he resided with his mother. When I explained my ex passed away in 2022 the mortgage company told me to get a copy of his death certificate and send it to them with a request that the check be reissued payable to him OR me and sent to my address in IL. For background, we split in 2000, the house was awarded to me, which is recorded in our divorce decree. I’ve paid the mortgage since 2000 - he was paying child support Only and did not contribute to any mortgage payments.

According to the MS vital records website it appears as the “ex“ spouse I don’t have the right to request his death certificate. And if I can request it I honestly don’t remember his exact birthdate nor do I have his social security number, which is requested information. We did not part on good terms - he was an alcoholic and after he moved out of state he didn’t make an effort to stay in touch with his kids. His mother blamed me for everything that went wrong so it’s not as easy as just asking her for a copy of the death certificate, plus she’s an elderly woman and I don’t want to bother her with this. I could have our son or daughter request it (both are adults), but how do we go about it without is dob & social?

any ideas how to go about this? Thanks

They should be able to ask their grandmother for his date of birth. However, you could also contact the department of vital records in the state where he passed away and discuss the situation with them. They may be able to offer alternatives.

 

[adjusterjack]

any ideas how to go about this?

How much money is the check for?

 

[zddoodah]

According to the MS vital records website it appears as the “ex“ spouse I don’t have the right to request his death certificate.

Section 41-57-2 of the Mississippi Code expressly says that "any person with a legitimate and tangible interest" may obtain a copy. The MS Dep't of Health form for requesting a DC says that "[a] certified copy of a death certificate can be issued only to a person with legitimate and tangible interest as defined by the Rules Governing the Registration and Certification of Vital Events." Those Rules can be found here. Rule 2.1.4 lists various categories of persons with "a legitimate and tangible interest," including "Individuals, groups or other entities needing the information for determination or protection of a personal or property right." Where are you seeing something that excludes an ex-spouse?

I honestly don’t remember his exact birthdate nor do I have his social security number

Do your children really not know their father's date of birth or can't they ask their grandmother for the DOB (or even for a copy of the DC)? I strongly suspect that the SSN is not required. Have you googled "[ex's name] obituary" or "[ex's name] grave"? There are websites that collect grave information and often have photos of the stone, which typically have dates of birth and death.

How much money is at issue, BTW? If it's more than a couple thousand, it may be worth spending a couple hundred to hire a private investigator to gather some of the needed info.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Do your children really not know their father's date of birth or can't they ask their grandmother for the DOB (or even for a copy of the DC)? I strongly suspect that the SSN is not required. Have you googled "[ex's name] obituary" or "[ex's name] grave"? There are websites that collect grave information and often have photos of the stone, which typically have dates of birth and death.

My and my ex's SSNs are on the first page of our divorce decree, but I don't know if that would be the same in the state that OP obtained their divorce in. I would hope that OP had their decree in their document file! Heck, I even have a copies of my marriage license which, shocker (*sarcasm*), has our dates of births on it.

"Find a Grave" only works if there's a grave. (My parents and half my grandparents chose to forgo that route.)
Legacy.com has obituaries, if someone had an obituary. But obituaries aren't fact checked, and the details are dependent on who provided the information.

While I noticed the same thing about "any person with a legitimate and tangible interest", and I concur that this should apply to OP, I suspect that OP is here because someone in MS begs to differ, especially with the lack of vital information on the request. Sometimes you get somebody who overuses their discretion . Bless them. *sarcasm*