needing some help !!!!!!

[NinaLewis]

What is the name of your state? Ky I have a question. My boyfriends ex-girlfriend lost custody of her oldest kid by a different guy and she told my b/f that is was because she was getting state asst. in KS (where she was staying) from MO (where she said she was living). She would go pick it up. And I told him I dont think that they would take her away for just that. And he said that it was also do to her ex and his mom knowing the "right" people. And I told it I dont think that matters . That a judge wouldnt take a child away from the mother unless she was proven unfit. Am I right in this ? The reason I am asking is because she told him that she left him (their 2 yr old son) in his room in the apartment while she ran down stairs (2 floors) and outside to check the mail. And I told him he needs to have something done but he said that it would be her word against his, even though she told him. And he is suppost to pay child support through the state but she finds out when he gets paid and she calls him saying "ur son needs this and he needs that" and that dont bother me its just he has to give her the money right then and he sends it western union, and his back child support is adding up from where its not going through the court . Can he take his stubs from western union to the court house and show them and it be taken off of the back pay?

 

[BL]

What is the name of your state? Ky I have a question. My boyfriends ex-girlfriend lost custody of her oldest kid by a different guy and she told my b/f that is was because she was getting state asst. in KS (where she was staying) from MO (where she said she was living). She would go pick it up. And I told him I dont think that they would take her away for just that. And he said that it was also do to her ex and his mom knowing the "right" people. And I told it I dont think that matters . That a judge wouldnt take a child away from the mother unless she was proven unfit. Am I right in this ? The reason I am asking is because she told him that she left him (their 2 yr old son) in his room in the apartment while she ran down stairs (2 floors) and outside to check the mail. And I told him he needs to have something done but he said that it would be her word against his, even though she told him. And he is suppost to pay child support through the state but she finds out when he gets paid and she calls him saying "ur son needs this and he needs that" and that dont bother me its just he has to give her the money right then and he sends it western union, and his back child support is adding up from where its not going through the court . Can he take his stubs from western union to the court house and show them and it be taken off of the back pay?

Half you post I can't understand , maybe because I'm a northerner , but I do know Southern draw , and I can understand most .

Anyways , any monies he pays outside of Child Support Payments are gifts .

Plus He would have to clearly know that the mother is unfit .

Can you imagine if the State's found mothers unfit for leaving their young child in one room for 2 minutes playing while they went a short distance ?

I mean we're not talking about going to the neighbors for coffee or anything .

If he were truly concerned that is what toll free hotlines of " Suspected" child neglect and abuse are for .

 

[NinaLewis]

He gives her what he is to pay in childsupport . And if she needs more he sends it . So even if he has the stubs and it went to his son toward his childsupport payment there is nothing he can do ? The money goes toward lights,water, and phone. And I have no problem with that thats what it is suppost to do but she dont let him know untill the last min and she calls saying " my lights r going to be cut off or my phone is going to be cut off , or my rent is do by tomarrow if I dont pay it I will get kick out.

 

[BL]

He gives her what he is to pay in childsupport . And if she needs more he sends it . So even if he has the stubs and it went to his son toward his childsupport payment there is nothing he can do ? The money goes toward lights,water, and phone. And I have no problem with that thats what it is suppost to do but she dont let him know untill the last min and she calls saying " my lights r going to be cut off or my phone is going to be cut off , or my rent is do by tomarrow if I dont pay it I will get kick out.

Yes there is something he can do .

Pay his Court Ordered Child support , and pay on his Child Support arrears and get them caught up .

If and when the she gets evicted , or the lights go out , Etc,Etc , because no other Agency will help pay them , then HE goes into Court and Files for Emergency Physical Custody with her having visitations ( upon the ability to provide proper housing ) , and Her paying him child support .

I can see helping out extra once in a while , but really , he is behind in Child support , and paying ALL she should be paying .

Where is the money going that She is suppose to provide ?

He learns to stand up and say NO ... Maybe he should offer to go through Court for exchange of Custody .

What he's paid so far are Gifts .

 

[NinaLewis]

Thank you for ur help and one more thing. What is exchange of custody? Is it where he could get custody? Untill he finds a plce of his own he lives with his mom and aunt. And he said that he heard in the state of Ks that the child has to have a room of their own. Is this true ? Because he just moved in there and they are cleaning out the extra bedroom for him and right now he sleeps on the couch and his 3 yr old son (when he gets him) sleeps in his playpin untill they get it done. Would this be what they say is stable enough?

 

[BL]

How long does it take to clean a room out ? ( in a post embedded in this forum there was a site about trailer trash with some awesome pics ) .

Anyways get the room cleaned .

As I stated if she absolutely gets evicted, utilities cut , and no where to go , he should file for Emergency Custody ( giving him physical Custody - meaning the child stays with him ) .

If denied Emergency Custody , he should concentrate on pay current and past due child support and get caught up .

If he suspects child neglect and/or abuse , he should call the hotline for that .

 

[Whyte Noise]

Stop paying her thru Western Union and have him send it through the court like it's supposed to be.

He's getting himself in a tub of hot water by doing it the way he is. Sure he's paying, but not thru the court, so to them it's like he's not paying and that's why he's "behind" and arrears are piling up. If his order says to pay thru the court then that is what he needs to do. Stop sending her what she wants when she wants it. Period.

No, a mother doesn't have to be proven unfit to not have her children. There are a few non-custodial moms on this site, of which I'm one, and I was never proven unfit.

 

[NinaLewis]

They are getting it done !!!! The room was his fathers (who died when my b/f was 8 ) study. And his mom left it the way it was , so now they are buying the bed and everything to go in it. And why was trailer trash brought into this ? You dont have to be trailer trash for a room to be needed to cleaned up !!!! And if I took that the wrong way I will say ahead of time "Im sorry"

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? Ky I have a question. My boyfriends ex-girlfriend lost custody of her oldest kid by a different guy and she told my b/f that is was because she was getting state asst. in KS (where she was staying) from MO (where she said she was living). She would go pick it up. And I told him I dont think that they would take her away for just that. And he said that it was also do to her ex and his mom knowing the "right" people. And I told it I dont think that matters . That a judge wouldnt take a child away from the mother unless she was proven unfit. Am I right in this ? The reason I am asking is because she told him that she left him (their 2 yr old son) in his room in the apartment while she ran down stairs (2 floors) and outside to check the mail. And I told him he needs to have something done but he said that it would be her word against his, even though she told him. And he is suppost to pay child support through the state but she finds out when he gets paid and she calls him saying "ur son needs this and he needs that" and that dont bother me its just he has to give her the money right then and he sends it western union, and his back child support is adding up from where its not going through the court . Can he take his stubs from western union to the court house and show them and it be taken off of the back pay?

Blonde Lebinese gave you good advice for your b/f to follow.

Also have your b/f contact the state he pays child support to and explain the situation to them- offering to provide receipts and demonstrate it was the mother who picked up the money, or that the bills being paid were for the mother's residence. There is no guarantee anything will be done, but it's worth a shot.

Tell your b/f to STOP giving any money to anyone or anyplace that is not the state agency!

 

[BL]

And why was trailer trash brought into this ?

It was a humorous moment in my brain , ( if you seen some of those pics ) .

 

[ablessin]

Why is the mother having such a hard time keeping up on rent and utilities? WHat is she doing with the CS she gets from your b/f?

He really does need to stop WU money to her. I know he wants to provide for his kid, but if he's that concerned, he needs to file to have the custody geared to him and kid can visit the mom.
So long as he is taking measures to provide a solid and stable living arrangement for the child, the courts can and will take that into consideration.

Child services can also do an inspection on the mom's place too, and that could help your b/f case.

He needs to document all the "extra" money he sent her (the WU) - and provide reciepts for ALL of them. Then, he has a good, solid ground for himself in court when he petitions for custody of his child. Just tell him to think about it and make sure that he is prepared to have a child full time.
It's a lot different FT than visitation!!!

 

[tigger22472]

The reason I am asking is because she told him that she left him (their 2 yr old son) in his room in the apartment while she ran down stairs (2 floors) and outside to check the mail. And I told him he needs to have something done but he said that it would be her word against his, even though she told him.

I do hope that you have WAY more then to prove her unfit because this is NOTHING! Could the kid get hurt? Maybe. But she could turn her back and the kid be hurt. Who's to say she didn't put him in his room where she felt he'd be safe there for her to simply run down and get her mail?

 

[NinaLewis]

Can any of you tell me who he should call to have this set up and all ? Should he call the court house ? And with her living in Mo should he call the one in Mo and in Ks ? He owes 100.00 and something in Ks and the rest to Mo from where she moved there.